Leggings Have Basically Officially Jumped the Shark

Can you count the number of things wrong with this promotional photo?

No, because you need a computer to count to infinity gazillion.

I really sort of almost wish not that Whitney Houston was still a crackhead (because I luuuuurves me some Whitney, and I'm really glad she's almost back to fully being Every Woman), but maybe just that the popularity of her reality show and this post could've been a bit more synchronicitous so it'd be funnier when I react to *Intuition's denim and tie-dye leggings with a resounding

OHHH HELLLLLLLLLLS TO THE NO!

And while we're here, we may as well get a closer look at the travesty:

($35, ShopIntuition.com)

Soooo Peg Bundy, and not in the funny ironic way. And I love the description: These deluxe faux-denim leggings are so street chic." Okay, first of all, "deluxe" and "faux-denim" = oxy moron, for there is NOTHING deluxe about faux-denim leggings or faux-denim ANYTHING for that matter. And these are "street chic" if -- and only if -- you're working the street.

($35, ShopIntuition.com)

Hopefully Jerry Garcia's grave is spacious enough to accommodate him as the poor guy rolls over a few times in rapid succession.


* Special thanks to Chicago JP for alerting me to this most heinous fashion morts.

All I Can See Is Red, Red, Red

So, the other day I go to the dermatologist for a rather mundane, routine matter - puffy eyelids of the not - so - major - anyone - will -really -notice- but- apparent- enough- to -me - to - go -to -the -doctor variety.

First of all, the doctor asks if I'd used any new make-up or nail polish (uhh, yes and definitely yes). Turns out that nail polish is the #1 cause of eyelid puffos in women! (Don't you love that there's a hierarchy of causes?)

Oh, so I'm at a large practice with lots of other docs -- I've really liked the other doctors I've seen there -- but this was the first time I'd seen this particular doctor. And I didn't really like her because:

a.) She didn't really seem to listen to me. I'd been to that same practice for the same issue before, yet she didn't take the time to check my record -- on the laptop sitting open with my chart on it right in front of her -- and see what the deal was. (That seems like the easy way out to me! Just look it up! Chances are it's the same thing! But maybe my inclination to take the path of least resistance is just one compelling reason why I'm not a doctor).

b.) She mentions a topical treatment I'd tried before and then like quickly tried to flip the script, changing the topic, and fucking UPSELLS me on some laser treatment to "reduce the redness in my face" to treat my super mild rosacea. Apparently I'd only need about three or four treatments... at about $450 or so A POP (!!!). Um, lady, I'm used to coming in here and paying a $30 copay. You really think I wanna shell out like $1600 (as if I had $1600 to spend on "mild redness") on fucking lasers? What irked me the most was that after I told her that the redness really didn't bother me that much, she kept on with "well, you know... something to think about."

So, I walk in to get eyelid medicine or some whatever and potentially leave in debt? WTF?

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not fully against laser treatment or anything. Especially if I had a beard or something I couldn't get rid of. (Eep!) But the redness in my face is just MINOR part of me, and not a very big or important part of me either. It's probably like maybe the 14th thing people notice about me? If that? And it's redness I've earned through a combination of factors both within my control -- drinking too much coffee and probably not enough water; Jack Daniels; tacos and other vices -- and a few beyond the stretch of my dominion -- being really really incredibly white. That aside, I'm pretty proud of the fact that my skin is generally clear, through a combination of sheer luck, never going to bed with make-up on (sick!) and maintaining my situation via moisturization. So why would I risk this shit (granted, if I did get some kind of laser treatment done, it would not be at a spa, but still) for an outcome that's not guaranteed, for a "problem" that only really seems to be a problem to my doctor -- who most likely stands to make a fat commission -- but not to me?

I'm not even 30, so I'm in slight disbelief that I've reached an age where people want to zap my face with lasers and pay them for the privilege.

Soon I'll be bring you some happy, healthy skin and beauty products I've recently discovered. Until then, I say fuck a bitch! Point your frikkin' laserbeams at someone else!

Sing it, Fiona...

Serious Sweater Weather

Uh, it's like 4 degrees in Tampa or some shit. What I'm saying, people, is that it's colder than Sharon Stone's face after a marathon round of deep-freezin' Botox action or whatevs.

Sweater solutions:

($169, Club Monaco)

Classic!

($144, Patrizia Pepe, Yoox)

Perfect Saturday sweater = comfy, but not bummy.

($496, McQ By Alexander McQueen, Asos.com)

Stars are major ahora. (Just axe TopShop.) '7os-style echoey stars? Even majorer.

Thursday Splurge Day: Jill Sander Lily Pond Printed Dress

The high price to pay for material lust...

($523, Jill Stuart, Revolveclothing.com)

Adorably expensive.

Love 'Em or Leave 'Em: Tom's Shoes

So, for better or worse (and I'm pretty sure that, no matter what, it's better, because for every pair you buy they donate a pair to a shoeless child), I bought a pair of Tom's shoes. And I decided to go big and bold with the glittery silver pair instead of boring green canvas or whatever.



Silver glitter TOMS shoes, $48. I think they're kind of cool in a weird way. What say yous? Yea? Nay?

I for one say YAY!

FashionBinge Forced Retirement: The Tory Burch Reva Ballet Flat

Yes, the Tory Burch "Reva" ballet flat is cute, but so is Abigail Breslin, but you don't see me hanging out with her. That's why I have to take issue with iVillage for putting them on their "Still In For Spring" list. Conversely, they're on my own personal "First to Go" list. Enough is enough! They're overly specific to last spring, and they're making me yawn.

Let's step it up with some new flats, shall "we"?

($375, Tashkent By Cheyenne, Piperlime.com)

The gold buckle and square toe are simply sublime, and the neutral tan make this an excellent (yet expensive) winter-to-spring transitional shoe.

($155, Corso Como, Piperlime.com)

Um, okay. I was just about write that these sassy yet simple shoes are the Dorothy Zbornak of awesome flats, and THEN I saw that these are called "Dotty," thus confirming my long-held suspicions that I am a FUCKING GIRL GENIUS.

($235, Repetto, Creatures of Comfort)

Not so me, but I could see MKHo pulling these off with much "aplomb." And speaking of black ballet flats -- throughout much of last fall, I wore a pair of subtle black patent quilted ballet flats that I got at like Rainbow or something (no joke) for under a twenty. I wore them with everything, and quite well, if I must say. Unfortunately they started to smell like a pile of fragrant garbage, so I had to trash them, but they're such an easy go-to that I may have to replace them:

($22, Torrid)

Simple, sweet, and so cheap! Thanks, Torrid!

($11.49, Target)

No, thank YOU, Targz!

($49, Steve Madden)

See? Behold: a simple, stylish flat, unadorned by now-ubiquitous tack, which is more than I can say for...

(Via iVillage, unfortunately)

A crime -- and fate -- worse than Crocs, my friends.

In The Navy: Candela NYC Patent Pumps

Perhaps inspired by A Cup Of Jo's recent post on the super-glam heyday of 1960s air travel (I mean, I wasn't there, so what do I know? It could've sucked, but you know -- almost 50 years later, it looks pretty rad in an ambiguously misogynistic way), I really want these Candela NYC perfect patent pumps in what shall forthwith be referred to as "airline blue."

($79, Candela NYC, ActiveEndeavors.com)

Seat backs up, ladies -- they're on sale from $264!


Shoes I definitely really DO NOT want:

Keds, from the new Spring/Summer '08 line. My eyes! There's seriously no saving the first pair.

Dip-Dye to Die For

You guys, this is soooo me:

Anthropologie "Half-past-six" trenchcoat by Taikonhu, $198. I tried it on at the store last night and it felt so lovely. Unfortunately, that price tag is sooooo not me.

I'm seriously considering a DIY fix. I'm thinking a box of dye and this Target trench might do the trick:

Isaac Mizrahi for Target wrap trenchcoat, $44.95.

Whaddayathink?

French Connection Does Marni

(Credit: Style.com)

First Forever 21 knocked off mix-and-mismatch Marni's link necklaces combining elements of their 2006 and 2007 designs. And I can hardly blame them -- even if I needed a new kidney I'd probably put a Marni necklace higher up on my list of priorities.


Now French Connection is following up with their wood and resin version:

($43, French Connection, Asos.com)

My lust for Consuelo Castiglioni's amazing mixed-media statement pieces continues.

Post-Fashion Week Weekend Round-Up

Taking a cue from other most fabbers floggers like Trendinista and Threadtrend (seriously, if you're not familiar with them, stop doing whatever it is you're doing to waste your life and get on this train!), here's a round-up of stuff you indulge in, 'Bingers:

+ Trendinista is tangled up in the blue of Fall 2008 and considers a Smurfier world, then brilliantly outs London Fashion Week's secret French Victorian past.
+ Threadtrend doses on orange (both orange and Threadtrend = FB faves!) and Prada at Milan Fashion Week.
+ Catwalk Queen doses on Carine Roitfeld's love of pilly pill pills!
+ A Cup of Jo's Joanna Goddard has a breathtaking aesthetic, a classy-sounding last name, and wrote a great piece in NY Mag on monochromatic dressers.
+ Schmashion breaks self-imposed sanctions against Style.com to confirm that these subdued floral-print garden party dresses (like the one above) are in fact Roberto Cavalli and not an unslutty imposter.

... And finally...

+ JC Report has London Fashion Week highlights, including Danielle Scutt. This yellow and purple Erdem dress simultaneously gives me the vapors and the chills = the chapers!

Ruby Republic's Not-Too-Cutesy Animal Print Tees

I've gone on and on about cute animal Tees before. The problem is, it's hard to find lady-friendly cute animal Tees that don't make you look like either a Harajuku girl or a devotee of Looney Tunes and/or drag racing.

Therefore, extra yays go to Japanese/So Cal. artist/ designer Misato Suzuki, whose Ruby Republic line of Tees (plus a few bottoms and accessories) are perfectly cute and crafty but not too cutesy or overly DIY. Another bonus: perfect price points, y'all.

($24, Ruby Republic)

Zebras lovin' on each other!

($24, Ruby Republic)

The underrepresented peacock! My fave!

Her Tees (especially the accordion Tee above) remind me a bit of Milton Carter's, but a little more female-friendly. Seriously, someone get me that peacock top, pronto!

New York Times To New York Ladies: Don't Wash Your Hair

If the New York Times told you to jump off the Williamsburg Bridge, would you do it?

I know that I personally would jump off the Brooklyn Bridge because it's so much cooler than the Williamsburg Bridge. But for realzorz, the Times is all like, hey, looks like ladies aren't shampooing their hair.

Um, duh. Any good pageant queen will tell you -- dirty hair is stylish hair!

And anyone who's heard me go off on my curly haircare rant KNOWS that I've been preaching the no-shampoo gospel for nigh on five years or so. I bought the book Curly Girl (yes, I actually bought a book about hair care, but only because it was just $10 and because I had a Barnes & Noble gift card and because one of my gay bestie's other girl besties bought it and swore it changed her life, so I figured, why not change mine?), written by Devachan founder Lorraine Massey, who's quoted in the article.

I followed her #1 cardinal rule of curly hair -- no shampooing. That was back in the day, and now I haven't used the shit in YEARS, except for maybe once when I went swimming or something. And, no joke, my hair went from "blah" to "huzzah." If you've got curly hair, chances are it's dry (I can't speak to the greasy haired ladies, but you've told me that the idea of not washing daily is a totes no-go, and I believe you). And shampooing, per Massey (AND, supes importantly, per ME!), will only dry it out even more. Seriously, as soon as I stopped using shampoo, it was 1,2,3 Impacto on the hair hotness tip. I still wash it -- probably up to five times a week -- scrub it and use a shameless amount of conditioner. Just no shampooey. It's all the difference in the world between frustrating, frizzy hair and totally transformed curls that take almost no time at all.

I also totes recommend Devachan -- I've been going there for years. It's expensive but worth every cent, especially if you don't wear your hair curly but you're ready to make the jump. They totes takes tons of time to walk you through the whole curly hair maintenance process.

If you don't live in New York, Devachan (I swear to God, I don't work for them -- that's how miraculous their skills are), check out Stylist's Devachan curly hair photo gallery.

Also, the Times article goes on about shampoo alternatives (cheesecloth? uhhhh no thanks), and I've been loving on "Dry Clean Only" by Sebastian ever since I was old enough to legally enter bars, back in ye olden days when smoking anywhere within four inches of an alcoholic bev was still allowed. It's essentially Febreze for your hair. That sounds gross, but if your hair be rockin' it, what's the point in wasting all that water (and time) if you were only in a smoky spot for like 10 minutes -- long to enough to pick up some smokage but not enough to merit a total rewashing, IMO. Or if you have a rad -- and expensive -- blowout. It's not so easy to find, but it's worth the time spent tracking it down. Just a few spritzes and you're good.

Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, there's absolutely no reason to wash your hair every day. Skipping a day or two is good for the planet and good for your hair. That also means that it's time to substitute the "I'm washing my hair excuse" with "I'm color coordinating my sock drawer."

Alright, 'Bingers. True confessions: how often do you wash? And... to shampoo or not to shampoo? THAT is the other question!

Old Navy's Safari Style

Dear Todd Oldham,

I know we don't know each other personally, but I used to like watching you on House of Style back in the day on MTV. I'm sorry that neither your clothing line nor, let's be honest, that Bravo show you hosted worked out. But I'm over the moon over the news that as of October 2007, you've been named the new creative director of struggling Old Navy.

Old Navy's always been there for me, but only sorta in that last resort sorta way. In much the same way that you'll eat the last, sorta crappiest looking thing in your pantry -- the thing you wouldn't touch but only turn to out of starving desperation -- Old Navy is usually last on the list.

But I have hopes that much as you were able to resurrect shitty old college couches by recovering them with animal prints, you'll be able to breathe life back into Old Navy, which, it seems, is now "The O.N."

And, seeing as how I have a weird giraffe-print fetish, I'm hugely enamored of your new urban explorer line of safari-inspired stuff:

So much cute animal-print stuff, and so easy to shop for! And I truly love the citrusy yellows and greens. Lovely change from Old Navy's usual crop of primaries and pastels.

More stuff I'd readily buy:

($29.50, Old Navy)

While there's been much ado about this dress, I'm a much bigger fan of this one. Nice way to do florals and safari without doing too much of either.

($19.50, Old Navy)

Speaking of ado, there's been plenty of it over the giraffe-print clutch, but I'm also fond of the squiggly olive-print clutch too.

($15, Old Navy)

Sweet, simple little keyhole top -- a classier alternative to a tank or Tee.

($19.50, Old Navy)

I do believe I need both of these animal-print and animal-print-inspired (because I'm not sure what animal is red and grey, but I'd sure like to meet him!) flats. (MKHo blogged about the lemony ones not too long ago. Psychic style sisters!)

($4, Old Navy)

We all need undies! I have a pair of similar hipster unders, and they fit perfectly and have held up after many a'wash. (Because I'm hygienic like that!) And these are waaaay cheaper than the awesome yet expensive Cosabella bottoms I blogged about befo'.

Okay, well, Todd, I realize that this has become more of a personal shopping list than a letter. I'm off the ballet (yay!), so I'll end this now with this old-school House of Style clip.

Pop Beauty Nail Polish Coming to the States!

($13, Asos.com)

Yes, $13 is, to me at least, an absurd amount of money to pay for one bottle of nail polish, and that's what I thought too when I paid almost exactly that while at the Oxford Circus Top Shop over the holidays. But $20 is a lot to pay for nail polish too, and laydeez be plunkin' that down for Chanel nail polish like it's their Goddamn vocation!

So after spending 13 bones on UK line Pop Beauty's nail polish in turquoise, shown above, and trying it out, I did a little happy dance of superficiality and beauty products around my hotel room, because this is, (hands and nails) down, the best nail polish I've ever used. It's strong, thick (in the good way), absolutely opaque and barely chips even after days. It ends up looking more like paint than polish -- zero streaks, lumps, bubbles or squeaks.

And while you can buy Pop Beauty cosmetics at Sephora here in the States, they don't have their nail polish here - BOOO - however, I recently read that they're about to bring the polishes here too -- YAY! Step on it, Pop! I've got more superficial nail polish dances to do!


Want:

And...

Also want:

($42, Pop Beauty, Sephora)

A treasure trove of 24 eye shadows in a cute silver palette!

The Search Is Over, Sorta

They may not have been with me all the while, but I finally have some ass-kickin' cream-colored boots, not exactly the style I'd been thinking of, but I'm happy nonetheless. And these are ANKLE BOOTS, weirdly. I've always been rather suspicious of ankle boots, b/c of the what-do-you-wear-them-with question (not to mention the do-your-calves-look-fat-in-them question), but strangely smitten with the look nonetheless. These I fell in love with instantly. I snatched them up at the LF store on Court Street, Brooklyn, where they're having their "only sale of the season," which is pretty much the only time to go in the store, since their clothes are, as Tamron and I discussed, basically shittier overpriced versions of Urban Outfitters merch. Their shoe selection is pretty hot, though. And everything in the store was 60% off, and thus I emerged victorious with these butter-soft (seriously) Jeffrey Campbell "Latte" booties in cream, not black, but maybe you can picture it? (These shoes are seemingly not available anywhere on the Internets that I can find, and I am good at the Internet.)



You probably can't tell, but the leather wraps around your ankle to fasten in the cutest little button on the side of your ankle. (Again to emphasize: MUCH cuter in cream.) They were only $58, and I could see wearing them with skirts and dresses and jeans and would have been heartbroken to leave them in the store, so get them I did. Yay! I'm thinking they'll be great for spring.

P.S. The Search is not really over. I'm still looking for some sleek midcalf cream boots, for whatever reason. Obsession, I guess. *shrugs*

Tripping On Acid (-Washed Jeans)

Y'all, true-confessions time: I don't do any illegal drugs. Nothing. Not even the wizard. Nothing against it, really. I'm not like str8 edge or anything. I just don't enjoy it. And I hate the smell of "drugs." I really do. As a teenager, I worked too hard on accepting my nose to put up anything up it or risk ruining it at this point. And I'd rather spend money on designer finishing powder than the other kinda designer powder. Plus, growing up, I was "that kid" who totally believed that after, like, merely GLANCING at trace residue of any narcotic, I'd pull a Helen Hunt like in the infamous made-for-TV-movie Desperate Lives, where she flies out a third-story window, Superman styley, after like a milligram of PCP. And now I'm pretty much "that adult." And my drug of choice is carbs.

Anyway, to my knowledge, I have never ingested acid or any other hallucinogenic drug (except for Sparks). But right now I question whether or not I am currently tripping my face off, because I just bought a pair of acid-washed jeans:

($68, Lux, Urban Oufitters)

I am not positive what I will wear with them, but I will make it my mission to wear them thoughtfully and tastefully, with honor and integrity, to cherish and respect them all my days (can you tell I've been to two weddings so far this month?) Seriously, the intent is here is not to dress up like a one-woman '80s parade, but to perhaps wear them in lieu of skinny black jeans, with a nice solid, neutral-colored Tee, perhaps. Or with a wine-colored Tee. With some nude heels. See? A nice mix of the greatest hits of yesterday and today!

I'm sure some of you out there are recoiling in horror, but fuck that. They're gonna rule. We'll see. You'll see! Whatever, HATERS! (God. This must be how Kanye feels!... Funny side note: my dad calls him "Conway.")

More acid-washed jeans:

($69, Furst Premium Denim, LF Stores)

Earlier this month, in my obsessive cigarette jeans post, I blogged about how these acid-washed Furst Premium Denim 1820s at LF were trying to holla at me, but at $174, I was not about to hollar back. Well, thanks to the magic of SMS, I received a a text from MK on Saturday informing me that LF is having their one-and-only sale of the year (seriously, how do you just have ONE sale??), and everything in the joint is 60% off.

MK does not lie. Anyway, I tried them on in a size 29, which must be more like a size 4/6, (I'm about an 8/10) because it was Sausage City. So, no go, bro. A chick who works there told me that the 1820s are Furst's slimmest/ skinniest cut, and she also weren't telling a lie. I think the 30s would've even been too tight. So, that's when I harnessed the power of the Innernets and found those Urban acid-washed. Done! But yeah, if you're an 8 or under, check out those deals on Fursts at LF. They're almost all sold out at the Court Street locay, but it looks like they're in stock online.

($77, Sass & Bide, Bluefly)

These are a Lucky Shops exclusive. I'm not sure what that has to do with Bluefly, but I'm pretty sure I tried on a pair of Sass & Bide jeans at the Lucky Shops event, and they ruled. I sorta really want these. They're a nice mix of acid-wash and grey, without too much of the former. And a great price for Sass & Bide.

($265, Casette, MadisonLosAngeles.com)
These are fairly hot but also fairly 'speners.


($330, Grey Ant, Tobi.com)

Brown acid = the sophisticated PhD. to your master's-level black acid-wash.


Also, back on the LF sale tip, I swooped down on those Jeffrey Campbell ombre heels:
Were: $120.
Got 'em for: $48. I don't think they're online (boo), but there were a few pairs at the court Street LF.

While I was there, I also picked up:

($15.20, Adia Kibur, LFStores.com)

I'd been <3-ing these for a while in black. Then they went on sale and I opted for the bottom bronzey brown ones instead.