Beach Towel Most Foul + Cute Mocs!

So, we're off to the beach tomorrow for a whole week! I needed beach towels, so, despite the fact that it was raining like the end of days, I went to the haven of schlocky closeouts that is Conway (it's like a dollar store went on a crazy meth binge and robbed a Sears). I knew I'd find some delightfully tacky misprints, but I had NO clue I'd find something so deliciously foul... Observe:


Go ahead -- click on that shit. The dude's cut-offs are SLIDING OFF, and it looks like he stuffed a potato down what's left of them.

I bought four.

This dude's like a cross between early '80s Michael Jackson and the Unabomber. Amazing. (And speaking of bombs, please try to disregard the fact that my bedroom looks like one detonated seconds before this photo was taken. I think my room couldn't handle the gravity of the towel and shit just started flying toward the door in an attempt to escape.)

On the reals, on my way home, I also bought myself an early birthday present:

($55, Minnetonka, Epaulet)

I'd been wanting a pair of mocs for forEVER, so I stopped in Epaulet on Court Street, where MK got her Melissa + Campana rubber shoes last month. I'd wanted a white pair, but the natural flavor in the middle appealed to me the most, so I went with those. I'd been into Epaulet before, but this is the first time I'd purchased anything. I chatted with the owner, Mike, who's super nice. Great great shop -- you must go!

And speaking of go, so must I! To the gym. Gotta look HOT when draping myself across my King of Pop/ Ted Kaczynski towel. HEEE HEEE!

Hot Flops = Hot Mess!

Ohhhhh b'gosh. Check out these "AMAZING NEW FLIP-FLOPS" called, disturbingly, "Hot Flops." Gah... Kind of a misnomer since yes, they're "flops," but no, they're not "hot." Though actually, they could definitely be considered "flops" the more I think about it.

Basically, someone took regular fucking flip-flops and glued some craft store dollhouse miniatures on them. WHOOOOPDIEDOO! Observe the traumatic, craptacular results in highlight form:

Oooh! The poker version! Gotta know when to fold 'em, folks!



Fashion FORE!

Seriously, someone was asleep at the wheel during the brainstorming sessions for these... if there WERE any brainstorming session. NOT ONLY is there a HUGE, TACKY clump of grapes (like the kind you'd see on a jug in some shitty tableau next to a statue of a jolly, stereotypically fat chef in a crappy Italian restaurant) on this otherwise innocent flip-flop, but somehow a dragonfly got roped into the situation AND -- look carefully -- you'll notice, a pineapple. That just makes me hate all pineapples now solely because of this one pineapple's involvement here. Oh yeah, you can also choose from FIVE OTHER fruit-themed "Hot Flops." You know -- if orange isn't your thing.

Like Chi-Chi's for your feet! A celebration of... crap!

These MIGHT be cute... if you're like 14 months old and not cognizant enough to realize what the fuck you're wearing.

Uhhhh????

Anyway, for additional torture, check out the poorly conceived subcategories of Hot Flops -- "Fruitflops," "Sportflops" and the especially disturbing "Coolhotflops." Again -- neither cool, nor hot. Weep. Morts Bagorts! :<

Can't...Resist...American...Apparel

My boss told me today, after commenting on my poufy, pleated "potato sack" skirt and the appearance of my ass in said skirt as opposed to the actual size of my ass, that he'd like to see me in jeans, a wifebeater, and cowboy boots. Inappropriateness aside, it sort of made me want to go shopping. So, obviously, I went out and bought a skirt at American Apparel. It's superswingy and cute. I'd advise sizing up so it can hang a little lower than Dov Charney (and probably my boss) would like.



American Apparel natural denim circle skirt, $45. It also comes in fun salmon and "blueberry" blue (basically unnatural-denim blue).

... And the Winner Is...

Mikki won the Lush Retro Giftbox giveaway with an answer so sweet (literally), she killed the competition with heartwarming, not-too sappy (HARRRR) motherly love:

The nape of my daughter's neck after a pancake breakfast. She always gets syrup in her hair, so when I nuzzle her she smells like herself but extra sweet. A true accomplishment for her!

Congrats again, Mikki!

I'm on the West Coast for wurk, staying at a hotel with Fresh Sugar Lemon lotion in the bathroom (don't think for a second I won't be swiping a handful of those if I encounter the housekeeping cart in the hall), truffle fries good it oughta be a crime (those aren't in the bathroom), and a photo of Lou Reed over my bed (if you know where that is, please don't stalk me... unless you wanna buy me more truffle fries) so MK, take the wheel! Move that bus!

Also, check out this hilarious Scarlett Jo-related exchange at Style It.

Plus, photographic evidence of my trip:

Shirley Feeney = RESPEK!

Lush Giveaway Ends at Midnight Tonight

Don't forget to enter here if you were fixin' to, and if you already entered but didn't leave your email or if you're not registered with Blogger, which usually provides us with an email address, please holla in the comments so we know how to FIND you. GOD DO WE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE?

Chloe Alligator Envelope Clutch -- WTF?

($1418, Chloe, Asos.com)

Origami + leather = expensive disaster. Is this an accessory or some modernist furniture? Fail.

Go-to Summer Dress Shoes for the Late-'70s Mom in You!

($24, Fred Flare)

So easy it oughta be illegal. These are totally up my Etienne Aigner alley, speaking of which, I SO meant to blog about this back when it was published, but Trend Central did a fashion forecasting piece on the new decades trend: dressing like a late-'70s/ early-'80s mom. AND. I. LOVES. IT. They specifically referenced Etienne Aigner. I love that brand's '70s stuff and the whole burgandy leather bags, cords, fitted blazers, brown wedges look. Even plaid button-down shirts with the bows and sweater vests. Think the girls of The Facts of Life -- especially Blair, before she went all cray-cray Christian -- or Dana Plato as Kimberley Drummond. It feels so wholesome and safe. Well, not Dana Plato doing Playboy, holding up a video store and later ODing, but that look.

More this:

And this:

Less this:

Anyway, these are go-to Free-to-be-You-and-Me '70s mom shoes, and they're SO cheap and cute. Get 'em!

Hollywood Glasses!

($545, Alain Mikli)
From the new "Twist & Shout" collection...

"You know I would never interrupt you when you're getting a piece of wood!..."

Flea Finds Fo Fun!

Get it? Fe Fi Fo Fum! Okay, it wasn't really that funny... I happily spent early Sunday doing some low-cost shopping, which was especially exciting because thrift stores are pretty much a non-entity in NYC, and this was the closest I've come to that in a while. Here's what I came back with from the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary Tag Sale in Williamsburg:

Vintage Sasson cotton jacket. It's missing one of the epaulets on the shoulder, so I just removed the other one, and we're good. It's enjoying some much-needed time at the dry cleaner's, which will cost more than the amount I paid for it -- $6! And that $6 goes to help kitties and puppies and goats! Wee!
And speaking of Sasson, check out these sick-ass boots on eBay.


And I got these totally wack, completely unnecessary 1970s trivets for $5 total. Appropriately, they say "Hot." You can practically hear a porned-out disco beat radiating out of the repeating waves of "hot."
Of course, someone had to get a whiff of decades past.


And because it was cheaper than a coffee, I got this Etienne Aigner pin set. They're like tie tacks. Weird. What will I do with it? Probably nothing, but it was $3. And speaking of coffee, I got an iced coffee at El Beit up the street on Bedford, and it was absolutely repulsive. Worst. I'd never been before. The Yelpers seem to like it, so maybe it was just an off day?


Over at Beacon's Closet, some of my used items ACTUALLY PASSED hipster muster, and I cashed in my store credit for these limited-edition Ice Cream sneaks, which I found in the men's section, but they're like a women's size 7. You should've seen my boyfriend's face when I brought them home -- he looked like I'd brought home a headless chicken. His disdain only made me like them MORE. They're really cute, and I will PROVE THAT TO HIM. Oh, they were like $21.


With the $5 credit I had left, I got these reeeedangdonkulous vintage plastic earrings:

Yay! Total cost was about $16 for all of the above, since I had store credit for my consigned stuff.

Finally, more shots of Rory -- he always seems to have his bad little head down when I take photos, but his "uncle" was over, and he was aholdin' him tight, so here are some pix that don't involve him frantically sniffing my new purchases:

Mary-Kate Olsen Cops My Alexandra Cassaniti Steeze Only Because She's Richer Than Me

Damn you, Mary-Kate. You've totes been reading Fashion Binge, haven't you?

(Image: mary-kateandashleyimages.com)

I Binged about this amazing '80s-inspired Alexandra Cassaniti bag back in March:

($220, Alexandra Cassaniti)

Dudes, we're practically the same person, Mary-Kate and I. We like the same totes, and I'm ALWAYS photographed going up the stairs of my LUXE townhouse, overwhelmed by the weight of Jimmy Choo bags. If by Jimmy Choo bags you mean "CVS or Key Foods bags." And those photographs totally end up on Websites dedicated to me, if by "end up on Websites dedicated to me," you mean "not at all."

Speaking of Alexandra Cassiniti, WTF is going on with this house-of-horrors shrunken head necklace:

($264, Alexandra Cassiniti, Goodbaduglynyc.com)

I mean, seriously, I'm a proponent of pretty-ugly, but this thing looks like a fucking malignant teratoma and/or a victim of a ritual killing. No want. And "made with love"? What? More like made under the dark spell of witchcraft. Eek.

Stuff I do want from The Good The Bad and the Ugly:

($378, Unearthen, Goodbaduglynyc.com)

I'm not usually into bullets nor crystals (they're both kind of offense to me), but for some reason, the combination of both kinda works here. More on Gia Baum, Unearthen's braintrust, here and here.

($196, Julie Cochard, Goodbaduglynyc.com)

The widdle smilers have on sungwasses! Killin' me with cutes!!! Also, holy crap, The Good The Bad and the Ugly is closing its brick-and-mortar shop. Boo! They're having a sale until 7pm tonight, so, in the words of Oleta Adams, get (t)here if you can.

Oleta Adams - Get Here

You Like Us! You Really Like Us! We Got a Brillante Award!

Woah! We're fatter, I mean flattered! TWO of you have bestowed upon us a Brilliante Award:
I've always suspected we're brilliant, but now it's official! I feel like Kathy Griffin gettin' dat Emmy -- SUCK it, everybody else! JK! To the lovely ladies who nominated us: Super Kawaii Mama -- the thunda from down unda -- and Sally, over at Already Pretty (I think of her sort of like a modern-day Heloise, but funny). And, of course, the Academy. Seriously, when we first started this blog, it was totes just for fun and because MK-Cat and I obsessively IM'ed each other links to stuff we wanted to buy, all day, back and forth forever. Then it grew into a just-for-fun blog that I still cannot BELIEVE anyone reads (I don't even think my friends read it!), so the fact that people actually do read this is really rewarding and ensures that this thing stays fun. It puts the "fun" in... er... "fun."

Here's the Premio Award rules, for those of you into rules:
The rules for passing on the award:
1) When received, you may post the premio to your blog.
2) Link to the blogger you received it from.
3) Give it to 7 blogs
4)… link to those 7 blogs
5)…and leave those seven bloggers a comment about receiving the brilliant premio.

Anyway, I'd also like to thank the Academy, and here's who I'm passing the baton on to...

+ Wendy B -- she can blog about Family Guy and Fendi with equal aplomb, she's a totally fearless female and that jewelry!! Wendy, I SUHWEAR, as soon as I get a raise, I'm gonna start saving for one of those skull rings. Faintfaintfaint!

+ Trend de la Creme -- The art degree I wish I had. Jaw-droppingly astute intellectualism, minus the stuffy elbow pads and pretentiousness, of course.

+ Sista So Fine -- Great writer, black-belt thrifter and hell on a dancefloor. Oh -- AND she was on a reality show!

+ Baby Ass Face -- A new discovery for me. It's a blog all about making sure your that face does not eventually resemble a catcher's mitt. The name alone is like a ride on a high-speed LOLercoaster, and the writing is aces.

+ Waitin' Round 2 Be a Millionaire -- Another new discovery for me, and seriously, it was like discovering I had a long-lost identical twin. The Jessica to my Elizabeth! Wonder twins ACTIVATE! In the form of... AWESOME!

+ Beauty Blogging Junkie -- Phenom beauty bloggage skills, brutally honest and hilare, has shared hairspace with Daisy Fuentes.

+ Grayburn -- Another new acquisition for me. European beauty-blogging POWERHOUSE. I mean... helllooo???

Thanks again, guys! Yay!

Can Someone Please Force Naomi Campbell Into Retirement?

(Image source -- givin' credit where it doo-doo!)

... So we don't have to be subjected to photos of her topless and wearing sequined Hammer pants? Enough is enough. That shot of her laying at the bottom of the stairs is like a metaphorical open invitation = pleeease, someone, push a craycray lady. I do like the animated cupcakes though.

In more exciting news, this Frizz Forecaster is a most supremely genius invention. Now if someone could only invent a de-frizzer that ACTUALLY WORKS. Grr. Thankfully I won't be needing one at the moment as I'm going back to bed to sleep off that hangovah. Nitey!

Built by Wendy, Bought by Me

Ever have one of those weeks where your back is tingling from stress and you wake up with a headache because you just haven't slept enough? That was me this week. Of course, I didn't have time to schedule a massage, let alone actually get one, so instead it's a Friday night and I'm home watching "What Not to Wear" and picking at leftover chicken. I decided a little retail therapy was in order. The following phrase is distasteful to me, but in this case I decided to make an exception and tell myself: I deserve it! In this case I think it's true....







Built by Wendy madras layer top, $74.

Built by Wendy has a buncha other stuff on sale, too (which, really, is the only time you should really buy it, unless you're in Beacon's Closet and see a sweet denim jumper for $27 like I did a few weeks ago, in which case you are obligated to purchase it). Go ahead ladies: You deserve it! (Even if you don't....)

YSL Stella Star Sandal: You Could Pay More, But Why?

YSL's much-blogged-about Stella Star sandal -- $335, Bergdorf Goodman

Versus...


($29, Office UK)

Just another reason why the British "Office" is way better! And seriously, $30 is about as much as one should pay for a shoe so obviously trendy that it's over by the time you've finished buckling it.

Saturday & Sunday Sale-o-Rama!

Three Brooklyn sales (sorry, non-NYers!)

First of all, this sale looks best:


... And:

Super Sale At Home Ec!
50-90% Off
Previous Seasons Merchandise!
Super Sale Starts This Saturday and Sunday
July 12th and 13th from 12-7pm
@
Home Ec
303 3rd Avenue
between Carroll and 1st
Brooklyn, NY 11215

**Note: Sale is at our studio HomeEc
NOT at our 5th Avenue shop!**

Shoes and Boots $10-$40
Jeans $20-$40
Laurie B. Sweaters $20-$40

Dresses by Karina, NaturevsFuture, Tshirts by Albert and Piccolo, Applecart handbags, lots of fun one of a kinds and samples, too!

The sale will be this Saturday and Sunday the 12th and 13th 12pm-7pm.
Sale will continue through July Thursdays thru
Sundays so stop by!

**Remember this sale is a clearance sale and does not apply to merchandise at our 5th Avenue location! This sale is being held at our studio HomeEc which is located at:
303 3rd Avenue between Carroll and 1st
Brooklyn, NY 11215

Next...
Aoyama Itchome, which I've blogged about before, is now called "Callalilai." Easier to pronounce, I guess, for us gringas. Anyway, they changed names AND they're having a big-ass sale this weekend. I IMPLORE you to go:

CALLALILAI
296 Atlantic Avenue
Brooklyn NY 11201
718.875.1790

Mon-Thur 11am to 7pm
Frid.-Sat. 11am to 9pm
Sun. 11am to 7pm

SALE:
20% off on your first summer dress
40% off the second one !!!
and 50% off on selected items.

And, I'm really bad at even taking photos, let alone uploading them and putting them on this blog, but here's a pic of me + boyfriend (not wearing chef hat) in my Callalilai silk dress on our way to a wedding in Cleveland this past May. My arm is out because I'm holding down the dress to prevent a Marilyn Monroe moment -- it's windier than you'd think in Cleveland. Sunnier too!

American Apparel Sinks to Previously Unimaginable New Lows With Assiest Ad Yet

I was glancing at a blog at the UNGODLY hour of 10am today (refer to the time stamp for authenticity) and I was attacked by an unanticipated ocular assault -- fucking pressed ham all up on my Dell flat screen in this most vile (though unsurprising, of course) American Apparel ad for thongs. WE ALL KNOW WHAT THONGS LOOK LIKE. WE DON'T NEED YET ANOTHER GRATUITOUS AMERICAN APPAREL ASS SHOT! And no, throwing in the words "organic" in irritating, pandering fucking green at the bottom doesn't excuse it. If I wanted that much ass up in my face, I'd lick an issue of Hustler. Or just watch an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Ugh.

Again, do yourself a favor and get your solid tees at Alternative Apparel. No ifs, ands, or butts.

Oh yeah -- check out the search term in the search field. All in a day's work! Major cancer-research type stuff over here!

Fashionbinge <3s Bonadrag + Issy Salomon

Swoooonys for Bonadrag.com right now, y'all. If Bonadrag were a teen-star-turned-gloriously-befollicled-star-of-a-mainstream-hospital-
dramedy, they'd be Patrick Dempsey, but Patrick Dempsey in Can't Buy Me Love, not on Grey's. Anyway, not only did I order my Rotter & Friends Linda Rondstandt shirt from Bonadrag.com, but Heather, the shop's proprietress/blogger, sent it in gorgeously wrapped packaging AND ... here's the best thing... in addition to cuties little Rotter & Friends stickers, Heather also threw in an awesomely curated Bonadrag mix CD, which "is just so typically me," to quote Britney, that I wonder if she snuck into my brain and/or iPod and checked my "most played" list, because here's who's on it:

* Rufus Wainwright = one of my ALL-TIME faves; I have seen him just fewer than 10 times because I am trapped in a gay man's body
* Belle & Sebastian
* INXS
* Fleetwood Mac
* Stevie Nicks (please -- I just bought a shirt with Linda Ronstandt on it -- you think I don't love Stevie too? She's the only person in the world besides Prince whom I can forgive for wearing crushed velvet.

Anyway, my name is Tamar (Tamron's not my real name, btw), and I approve of Bonadrag. (Also -- Modcloth sends awesome extras in their packages too! And not just like mini shaving creams, like Delia's, though that is useful!) Oh yeah: the shirt is amazing, and I plan on washing, wearing, repeating, repeating, repeat:

($44, Rotter & Friends, Bonadrag -- duh)

It was a little pricey for just a tank, but really, it's not "just a tank," and it's by an indie designer, and it was an early birthday present to me. Thanks, me! (Yer welcome!)

Also, another early beeday present I got meeeee:
Excuse my crappy crappy photog lack-of skills... it's an awesome Lucite necklace from designer Issy Salomon. It was on sale for a glorious $25, and quite literally, someone complimented me on it as I was walking out of his shop wearing it! Wee! He sells his handmade (and absurdly reasonably priced jewelry) at EDGE*NY in Noho, which you should definitely check out -- I went for the first time on Sunday, and it was similar to the Young Designers' Market but maybe not quite as subversive. Best thing at EDGE was definitely the jewelry, whereas Young Designers' Market has great jewelry and better apparel, I think... Anyway, Issy Salomon sells his schtuff at EDGE, or non-NYers, you can check out his site. His pieces remind me a bit of Subversive Jewelry, but more accessible and WAY more affordablay.

And here's a pic of my crappy cat, Rory, getting his mug all up in my situation:

Cute Issy Salomon earrings... clearly I did NOT take this photo...

A few more things:
+ Spoiled Pretty & Beauty Blogging Junkie are doing the raddest '80s ladies week pieces! Tee!
+ Style It Online is eyeing a Yohji Yamamoto "handbag" that could double as a sleeping bag.
+ Wake Up Maggie needs new flats. Don't we always?
+ Bunnyshop is just meh about the monokini. Word.
+ The Cut wonders "Why are shorts suddenly okay this summer?" If only I knew.
+ Not even the USSSJP could save Steve & Barry's from sinking -- they filed for Chapter 11 today. You'll have to get your Venus Williams wear elsewhere.

Things That Smell Good & Getcha Clean: Fashionbinge's Retro Lush Gift Box Giveaway

I just got Lush's Retro Gift Box, and guess what? It smells like a freaking candy store of a supreme dream. And ALSO guess what? One of you lucky folks is gonna take it off my hands, because I'm giving it away in Fashionbinge's FIRST-EVER GIVEAWAY! (With the exception of the time we gave away tons of rad swag at our anniversary party).

Anyway, it looks like this:
M'kay? And inside are six sweet treats, including:
+ Uluru Bath Bomb
+ Bon Bomb Bath Bomb
+ Pineapple Grunt Soap
+ Red Rooster Soap
+ Slammer Shower Gel
+ Freeze Shower Gel

A few photos to illustrate the excitement:




The whole thing is worth $49.95, but FREE to the ONE lucky Binger who, in the comments section of this post, provides us with the most amusing example of something that smells good to you and why. It should be interesting and novel. Like "my cat's tummy" or "inflatable beach toys" or "croque madame." Not like "yummy baked cookies" because that's the obvious, low-hanging fruit shit. Keep it short and sweet -- like me!

Please leave your comment (again, put them in this post) by Wednesday, July 16 at 11:59pm EST, okay? (Believe me, we have BIG fancy EXPENSIVE lawyers checking to make sure you're following those super highly specific legal restrictions and regulations.)

Nike McFlys Return to the Future, Finally

Attention sneaker freakers (actually, attention regular peeps, because sneakerheads probably already know this)... Twenty-one years into the future, you can FINALLY wear the once-fictitious Nike dunks Marty McFly made famous in Back to the Future II. The inspired-by sneakers are coming out later this summer and are, inexplicably, going to be repped by Kobe Bryant.

More here, here and here.

Need something more lo-tech? Delia's has 22 different colors of Converse:

Big-Bust Bathing Suit Lust!

I was gonna throw "Must" into that headline to keep the rhyming going, but sometimes you just need to know when to throw in the towel. And speaking of towel, if there were an entire village inhabited by cute bathing suits, this black-and-white polkadotted Esther Williams bathing suit would be the mayor of Cuters Bathing Suit Town:

($79, Esther Williams, ModCloth.com)

Available in up to size 16, and cut to fit you amply endowed lady friends out there (you knows who you ares). Yay! And it's cut low, so you don't have to suffer the indecent indignity of the revolting porn-star high-cut suit.

And speaking of Esther Williams, I did a post on her excellent retro suits way back in the earl-ie days of the Binge! Ah lookah heyah!

Topshop New York: Opening Dates Narrowed Down...

It's coming, folks, so get ready. The opening of Topshop's New York's store -- at least the opening for the huddled, unwashed masses desperate to get their mitts on the Kate Moss' collection, the Unique line, and absolutely everything else one can grab, regardless of size, during the frenzied dash -- will be either October 16, 17, or 18.

Until then, go to McCarren. (I may head over tomorrow night for Wet Hot American Summer.)

Friday Night Linky Dinks!

Yep. Still couched. And now, a whole bunch of links that have about as much in common as spaghetti and kitty litter.

+ American Apparel takes one step closer toward absolute corruption as they reintroduce Hypercolor shirts. Why God, why? Brightest Young Things reports.

+ Nylon previews the next designer to team up with Target for their Go International collection: Richard Chai. Pretty fall solid separates in purples and blues.

+ MOTHER! Dress up like Little Edie Beale in jewelry inspired by Grey Gardens.
This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand.

+ Makeupandbeautyblog takes a look like Chanel's Fall 2008 gold-flecked metallics in princessy fairy shades. Love the Fantastic Plum lipstick.

+ Beauty Anonymous experiments with mascaras with magical battery-powered wands that whirl, twirl, and could possibly blind you. I'm afraid. (Via Beauty Blogging Junkie)

+ For the Love of Beauty explores India via Lancome's forthcoming India-inspired Fall 2008 collection.

+ I can't wait for Ashley Paige: Bikini or Bust, and after watching about 10 hours of television today and seeing this commercial about 14 times, I'm practically an expert.

+ Crafty ladies: Roman Sock knows how to make meerkats that are so cute you could just break down and cry.

Tell Me About It, Stud: My Love Affair With Studded Flats Continues

Greetings from the couch, where I'm still parked. Two iced coffees later... I think I'm starting to sprout roots, and I'm pretty sure I gave myself scoliosis just today. That Tom Petty documentary is STILL on ("Comprehensive, revealing and epic in scope..." um... yes, it all of those things). I REALLY need a shower, FYI. SOS... Anyway, I came across these studded ballet slippers today:

($48, Capezio, Bonadrag.com)

They're cool but a little too literal and look pretty uncomfy. They did remind me of how much I love pyramid studs though, especially when they're used in unexpected ways, like with a pair of pretty pink ballet slippers.

Some more studded flats:

($425, Loeffler Randall, Active Endeavors)

Gorgeous, but I'd love them far more without the ankle strappage.

($88, Theory Shoes, Shopbop)
Sorry, but these are repulsive.


($211, Maloles, Zappos Couture)

So elegant.

($59, Jessica Simpson, ShoeMall.com)

Eeek. Cognitive dissonance issues -- cute shoes but they're Jessica Simpson! What to do? What to do?

($50, Calypso)

Cheaper, though only available in sizes 6 and 11.

($174, Kenneth Cole, Endless.com)

Not cheap, but sizes for all!

($12.99, BCOutlet.com)

Only available in size 7, but cheap!

($12.99, GoJane)

Cheapy Mccheap!

($29, Adi Misbehave, Overstock)

Lotsa colors, but the black ones are safest, don't you think?

($12.99, Go Jane)

Eek. Is it bad that I like these?

($41, Matiko, 6pm.com)

Not bad. But I don't understand the idea of the name "6pm." Anyway...

($41, Michael Kors, Overstock)

Pretty, preppy, punk-y! Only left in size 8. Yay if you're an 8, boo if you're not.

($287, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Net-a-porter.com)

I do believe these are the Marc Jacobs studded ballet flats that started it all. Brightest Young Things show you how to make your own!

($126, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Saks Fifth Avenue)

These Marc by Marc Jacobs studded flats, however, are unforgivable.


Finally, you (and by "you," I mean "I") also need some pyramid stud earrings:

($88, Wendy Nichol, Ravinstyle.com)

NEED!

($72, Argento Vivo, Bluefly)

Sophisticado.

($39, Whats That Cat, Etsy)

Etsy seller Whats That Cat has really sweet handmade pyramid stud earrings with sparklies. They're made of polymer clay and look really cool.

($20, Michelle Chang Jewelry, Etsy)

Super cuties sterling silver pyramid stud earrings from Etsy seller Michelle Chang Jewelry. Very much want!

Topshop's First Step Toward Taking New York: Taking Over Williamsburg's McCarren Pool Parties

Topshop still hasn't opened in New York (boo), but they're establishing their presence at the hipster magnet that is Williamsburg's (the Lower East Side of Brooklyn) McCarren Park Pool Parties -- a series of free concerts held every Sunday afternoon all summer in the shell of a former municipal pool. It's hot and sticky as fuck there, but the music is free, and the fashion entertainment factor cannot be measured, as Catherine's demonstrated in the past. Also, last Sunday's Hold Steady show was supposed to be absolutely face-melting, but it also poured like the heavens were having a going out of business sale, so I skipped it.

Anyway, Topshop and Topman have set up camp (a little beachy area, specifically) at the pool parties this year, to promote the forthcoming NYC arrival of our very first ever Topshop/Man. Chicks are roaming around dressed in Topshop gear (cue jealousy), and they've set up a photo booth where you can snap pix of yourself -- I'm thinking it's probably like the Helmut Newton photo booth project they did back in London.

Here's the schedule for the rest of the summer. Ronnie Spector (!!!) is this Sunday, and I'd definitely recommend seeing the Ting Tings on July 27.

And with that in mind, check out some of my favorite pieces from Topshop's High Summer line:

(Apprx $99 USD)


(Apprx $39 USD)

(Apprx $15 USD)

(Apprx $19 USD)

(Apprx $148 USD)

(Apprx $29)
Very Lily Allen.


(Apprx $89 USD)
Topshop's answer to the Prada fairy bag. Wonder if these bleed.

(Apprx $59 USD)
Also want!

+ Check out more of Topshop's High Summer collection, and buy stuff here.

Carabella Swim Sale!

Carabella's having a big-aysed sale: 40% off their entire site through Sunday. Enter code C418. I just bought these three suits (with fingers crossed that they fit because I'm not sure about their return policy, but I am sure if I don't buy a suit soon, I'm gonna be going jumping in the water in a shorts and t-shirt when I go to the beach at the end of this month).

($79, Sunflair, Carabella)


($49, It Figures, Carabella)

Not sure about this one, but it's not bad and doesn't have legs cut up to the ears. Hate that.

($39, Shape FX, Carabella)

The Marissa Miller boobie bandeau I blogged about before. We'll see, maybe it'll work.

And happy fourth, everyone. It looks like it's about to rain here, so we're sittin' around the homefront in the AC, watching some show about Tom Petty. Ain't that America? And, of course, we're keeping it fashionable -- check out the awesome chef's toque con longosta that my boyfriend is randomly rocking:

Lily Allen as a Modern-Day Rainbow Brite

(Credit: The Insider)

Minus the shoes, which seem like a necessity since Glastonbury's apparently the muddiest place on earth next to George Bush's brain, I love Lily Allen's fun rainbow one-piece. I have no clue who it's by, but it looks it vintage. And with the exception of her pointlessly pink hair, I love the whole outfit.

Not all rainbow items deserve love, though. Example:

Shudder.

Ring a Ding Ding: Betsey Johnson's Telephone Tote

I saw this several months ago on Fashion Addict Diary, and then just the other on Smith Street, I saw a girl carrying a similar Betsey Johnson telephone bag, and I almost chased her down and asked her for her number just to call her to see if the bag itself rings. I know it's absurdly gauche (consider the source), but I have little problem with over-the-top bags.

($98, Betsey Johnson)

It reminds me of my beloved Paul's Boutique peacock bag, RIP.

($118, Paul's Boutique, Asos.com)

I say RIP both because I wore mine into the ground and because the top had an unfortunate incident with a lit cigarette in Las Vegas (err... not that I was on the filtered end of that cigarette, nor that I, nor alcohol, had anything to do with the events of that evening... remember, what happens in Vegas... happened, as I like to say), which melted the plastic zipper, rendering the bag zipperless and unusable. I had the zipper replaced, but the bag had just seen better days. It is available again at Paul's Boutique, but I'm holding out in hopes that A CERTAIN SOMEONE READS THIS, IN CASE HE'S WONDERING WHAT TO GET ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY, WHICH IS LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY, AND ALSO ASOS.COM HAS REALLY GOOD, FAST, RELIABLE SHIPPING TO THE US, MATT!

Annnnnnyway, my willingness to carry garish handbags does NOT extend to Betsey's cute but overly literal telephone bag:

($65, Betsey Johnson)

Cute, sure, but a little too kawaii for my likings. Also, a direct reference to those '60s novelty telephone bags, which, again, are cute, but are best left to the '60s:

($295, Lapochette.com)

Oh, so back to the Betsey bags, I could totally use this Betsy cosmetics case:

($39, Betsey Johnson)

Because what I really need is something to help me overpack even more than I already do.

And speaking of tacky bags:

($29, Whatonearthcatalog.com)

Finally, my prayers have been answered!

Lastly, an appropriate vintage video to go along with Betsey's "Call Me" bags:

And, speaking of calling, listen to this guy completely unravel into a downward spiral into the deepest, darkest recesses of loserdom in this series of depressing phone messages:


(Thanks to Las Vegas Pam -- who had nothing to do with the Paul's Boutique bag incident -- for the chicken bag and depressing phone messages link! Airkissesloveyameanitnoyouarenoyoudoseriously!)

** UPDATE: Clothes Line Finds previews Betsey Johnson's Fall 2008 RTW collection.

Overpriced Alert: Smathers & Branson Belt

($185, Smathers & Branson, C.Orrico)

How the fuck is this belt $185? Does that include yacht club membership? And what kind of a name is Smathers and Branson? It even sounds like an uptight law firm. And how is C. Orrico "Where Palm Beach Comes to Play" (ew!) so blatantly ripping off Henri Bendel's signature brown and white likeness?



Gag me with this $595 men's Lilly Pulitzer blazer:
Actually, the type of man who'd wear that blazer AND fluorescent green pants probably WOULD spend $185 on an embroidered sailboat belt and probably WOULD wear it with the aforementioned parade of gaud. Money can't buy taste, people.

And by the way, I'm not totally opposed to the idea of the prepster belt by any means. But $185? Huh? Observe:

($20, Chesapeake Ribbons)


($49.50, Vineyardvines.com)


($39.50, Vineyard Vines, Fireflyoutfitters.com)

Way less money, you still get preppy little symbols wrapped around your waist, everyone goes home happy.

($28, Urban Outfitters)

Double your nautical cuteness.

Also, I'm so sad this DSquared2 whale belt is sold out... and speaking of Bendel's, check out these amazing illustrations at A Design Affair.

Agyness Deyn Caused Me Pain!

Sure, I sound like a total modelfucker, but I don't care. I went to the Albert Hammond Jr. show tonight at Mercury Lounge, and as hawt as he is (err I mean... sounds?) in his leather jacket for all seasons, I was beyond geeked to see Agyness Deyn in the crowd! Right right, I shouldn't care, but I'm sorry, she's a cherub-faced vintage little imp, and I love her and her unconventional looks and the fact that she's not an emaciated silicon queen and often makes angry faces in her photos. Yay! Also spotted: Kirsten Dunst, and, sorry haters, she was really gorgeous -- and humble looking -- in a long white dress with black polka dots.

Okay. /starfucking. Nite nite!