Um, WHAT could be sweeter than lace-up leather boots the color of candy dots? I want Hasbeens (a resurrected '70s staple) in EVERY color. INCLUDING, but not limited to... beige:
+ Mistral soaps: Heaven-scent (GET IT?) handmade French soaps thick as bricks, and they last forever.
+ Fresh Pomegranate Conditioner: My favorite conditioner of all time. It comes with the story of how I klepto'ed them from the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.
Unlike what's in your bag or on your vanity, what's on your computer desktop is, if you're me, like the contents of a digital junk drawer: there's probably some stuff you might "need" in there, but basically you should really just clean it out. I save photos like little pieces of remnant fabric or tear sheets-- I had good intentions of using them for some project or another, but in all probability, I'll probably never do anything with them.
So, here are a few ridiculous things collecting digital dust, if you will, on my desktop. This is almost like pulling down my pants and exposing myself, but there's some pretty hilarious shit here, and my desktop is basically a direct reflection of my undying love for Perlorian-style, anthropomorphic photos of cats, Deco, crafts, the '80s, and an unknowable amount of kitsch. Oh, and animals dressed like lobsters. In other words, it just had to be shared.
Patrick Nagel painting. He did Duran Duran's 1983 "Rio" album. In my fantasy life, my house look like the set of Billy Idol's "Cradle of Love" video, and I have a huge room of only Nagel paintings -- like the Tate Modern's room of Mark Rothko's Seagrams paintings -- and I go there to be alone with my kitschy thoughts and dreams.
My version of cooking.
Self-explanatory.
Uh, yes that's me and the Jonas Brothers. It was FOR WORK, okay? Job perk. Or occupational hazard depending on who you ask.
Shooting a piece with Kid Rock. He was actually quite genteel and smelled like the sweet smell of Detroit-based country-rap success.
CHRISTOPHER LOWELL FTW!
Also self-explanatory.
Again, anthropomorphic animals.
The original Black Barbie (sorry, Nicki Minaj). I love "Notorious K.I.M."-era Lil Kim and the naughty Candyland theme David LaChapelle created for her. "No Matter What They Say" is the JUMP. OFF.
Yes, that's a teenaged Elizabeth Taylor. With a kitten in her pocket. Obviously.
Mayim Bialik in a 1993 issue of "People." I looked EXACTLY like her in the early '90s, and I only helped matters by owning one of those Blossom hats with the flowers.
This has become somewhat of a mantra at work. One of us will be stressed out and/or having a bad (hair) day, and someone will email this. It never fails to get a laugh. An amazing comment from one of my coworkers: "Why aren't we this horse?" SO true.
That Dog's "Retreat From The Sun" is still one of my all-time favorite albums, up there with Jeff Buckley's "Grace" and Rufus Wainwrights' "Poses" and self-titled albums (at my wedding, we "recessed" to the song "April Fools") I know every word, lyric, and every harmony.
I'd frame this and put it on my wall.
I have no viable or realistic explanation for this.
Holy shit. LOOK at my eyeshadow. It's so bad. I probably don't have to point out he fact that it goes up to my eyebrows, right? Because it does. That's obvious.
A tote bag I hand embroidered using a vintage iron-on pattern.
I've been in the market for some slightly more professional dresses -- I work in online content for MTV, so this is pretty professional in my realm. I don't exactly need a Chanel suit or whatever (though Chanel, if you're reading this and have some kind of blogger suit program, I'd be happy to wear one to work and watch people's WTH faces). Also, I've been scratching a LOT of impulse buy itches lately, and this French Connection dress was one them. I was at Bloomingdale's, and this pretty much leaped up into my arms like a lost puppy looking for a home. It practically licked my face. Annoyingly, I paid $148 for it (very unlike to me to whip out one and a half Benjamins, but again, this poor dress, it needed a home -- also, I don't carry "Benjamins." I don't think I've ever seen a real 100-dollar bill in my life except maybe in mafia movies... I really need richer friends) and then I saw it on French Connection online for half that, but it was sold out, so whatever. It fit perfectly, despite the fact that it was about 128 sizes larger than the three sizes I might normally wear. (Looks like I'm not the only one who finds that French Connection likes to size up.)
Anyway, as much as I love Mad Men-style everything (duh -- I'm in my '30s and live in Brooklyn. It's a given), there's a time and a place to dress like Joan Holloway, and a time and place to be not costumey. So while the pleated, nipped-waist style feels retro, the ruffled sleeves keep this from looking like you're swilling a Manhattan and vying for Don Draper's attention. It's like Mad Men meets Gaga.
So, I visited W29 Showroom the other week. That place is a fashion fulcrum for some of my favorite left-of-center designers like Ashish, who LOVES a sequin, and I DEFY YOU not to love sequins too.
Anyway, check out a few snaps I took of Iossellani's Fall/Winter 2010 tribal/Westerny-inspired/ Fleetwood Mac-ish heavy metal pieces.
Um, this is ALL ONE PIECE. If I could only wear one piece for the rest of my life, it'd be this one. Because it's like 23939 necklaces in one. This + a white t-shirt and some skinny black ankle-length pants and a pair of slipons? Are you kidding me?
So, Bluefly is doing some contest called Closet Confessions, where you upload a photo of the most absurdly asinine thing you own for a chance to win some Bluefly bucks. I'm not usually the type to enter contests since I'm horrible at taking photos and making videos (which is why you'll usually see neither on this site, unless it's a Blackberry photo and I'm feeling saucy). But I knew I was sitting on top of a goldmine (or shit show, depending on your vantage point), because WHO ELSE OUT THERE IS HARBORING A LEOPARD-PRINT POLYESTER JUMPSUIT?
Yes, that actually is a salmon-colored (like, if you laid a piece of lox down on top of it, it'd camouflage so perfectly that you'd only be able to find it again by the smell) polyester jumpsuit -- not a dress, as there are TWO DEFINED LEGS! -- covered in leopards. The leopards, for some reason, have comically long white whiskers. And, it's just the gift that keeps giving, as it's got WOODEN buttons, an intense collar, and a drawstring. You know -- to emphasize your waist. As if anyone's gonna notice your waist. It's so Mrs. Roper, who's always been a style icon to me, and sadly I don't mean that with a hint of irony (nor, clearly, a shred of dignity).
I got this from a since-shuttered vintage store in the East Village, probably in 2002 or so, when I lived downtown. I remember seeing it and basically hearing angels sing. I've only ("only!") worn it once, and that was to a party Cat, our old roommate Holly, and I were throwing. The last time I tried it on it appeared to have, um, ahem, "shrunk," but that doesn't mean it won't be resurrected at some point. I'm not even sure if it fits at this point, but I certainly can't part with it. A closet without a leopard-printed jumpsuit is no closet I'd want to call my own.
I already picked up this adorable neon pink pyramid necklace for $47, but I will further forewarn you, they kinda kill you with shipping and tax. Oh wells.
If you're really quiet, you can almost hear this floral romper crying out "add to cart!" It's by Fire, a junior brand based in LA. I really appreciate how this sweet little romper comes in many variations on "floral," and there are many variations, lest you travel through life blissfully unaware of the wide plane upon which florals can exist! I'm partial to the mustard and bluebird colors above, but check out the '90s riot grrl possibilities of the rompers below:
I'm really into how these are summer pieces but have a fall feel. Because you know, with a romper, I'm big into winterizing with a black turtleneck (generally I LOATHE turtlenecks, but I'll make an exception for black ones), black tights, and distressed denim jacket or safari jacket and some chunky black boots. Anyway, BUY! They're practically GIVING 'em away.
I LOVE Gilt. And Rue La La. And Ideeli. But that's the problem. I love them. And sometimes when you love something you need to take a little break. And so it was with no lack of Herculean effort that I stepped AWAY from the monitor, after I'd added this adorable silk Eskell Lucine dress with a yin/yang confetti print AND drawstring waist (I LOVE a drawstring waist -- SO flattering on a curvy lady like myself) and I closed out my screen. Sad, I know. (Plus, I should've been a more conscientious shopper and removed it from my cart -- sorry!) But we're not out of this economic crisis, and I need to start demonstrating more of the financial responsibility I had... at some point or another. Mama gotta start living off the fat of the land for a while. The fat of the land being the trillions of things I already own, of course.
Lately I've been all space cadety and dreaming of Pink Floyd-referencing, cosmic, marbley watercolors and photo prints. Sometimes they're pieces that are actually tie-dyes, but they're so not hippie-chick at all. They're intergalactic pieces that look like they're in a dark and stormy mood, a la Peter Pilotto's Fall 2009 collection and much of Risto Bimbiloski's signature celestial notes.
Christian Louboutin, or, as Paris Hilton likes to say, Christian Loubuiton's studded Rollerball loafers have been on my fantasy fashion wish list for a fortnight. Obviously, since they're a grand, they're staying in the realm of the virtual and not the actual. BUUUUT, thanks to Matiko, a less-bad-ass version -- their "Leila" studded loafers -- could be mine for just $119. And guess what? THEY WILL! Just try and WATCH me not buy 'em!
(Apprx $397 USD, Hasbeen, Swedishhasbeens.com)
(Image by the incredible Designed Memory)
Patrick Nagel painting. He did Duran Duran's 1983 "Rio" album. In my fantasy life, my house look like the set of Billy Idol's "Cradle of Love" video, and I have a huge room of only Nagel paintings -- like the Tate Modern's room of Mark Rothko's Seagrams paintings -- and I go there to be alone with my kitschy thoughts and dreams.
My version of cooking.
Self-explanatory.
Uh, yes that's me and the Jonas Brothers. It was FOR WORK, okay? Job perk. Or occupational hazard depending on who you ask.
Shooting a piece with Kid Rock. He was actually quite genteel and smelled like the sweet smell of Detroit-based country-rap success.
CHRISTOPHER LOWELL FTW!
Also self-explanatory.
Again, anthropomorphic animals.
The original Black Barbie (sorry, Nicki Minaj). I love "Notorious K.I.M."-era Lil Kim and the naughty Candyland theme David LaChapelle created for her. "No Matter What They Say" is the JUMP. OFF.
Yes, that's a teenaged Elizabeth Taylor. With a kitten in her pocket. Obviously.
Mayim Bialik in a 1993 issue of "People." I looked EXACTLY like her in the early '90s, and I only helped matters by owning one of those Blossom hats with the flowers.
This has become somewhat of a mantra at work. One of us will be stressed out and/or having a bad (hair) day, and someone will email this. It never fails to get a laugh. An amazing comment from one of my coworkers: "Why aren't we this horse?" SO true.
That Dog's "Retreat From The Sun" is still one of my all-time favorite albums, up there with Jeff Buckley's "Grace" and Rufus Wainwrights' "Poses" and self-titled albums (at my wedding, we "recessed" to the song "April Fools") I know every word, lyric, and every harmony.
I'd frame this and put it on my wall.
I have no viable or realistic explanation for this.
Holy shit. LOOK at my eyeshadow. It's so bad. I probably don't have to point out he fact that it goes up to my eyebrows, right? Because it does. That's obvious.
A tote bag I hand embroidered using a vintage iron-on pattern.
French Connection
Um, this is ALL ONE PIECE. If I could only wear one piece for the rest of my life, it'd be this one. Because it's like 23939 necklaces in one. This + a white t-shirt and some skinny black ankle-length pants and a pair of slipons? Are you kidding me?
($675, Iosselliani)
Candace Ang's phenomenal chunky mixed material (bullets! mesh-wrapped gems!) bracelets.
And here we have Candace Ang's hilariously cheeky dinosaur necklace from her collaboration with Margita Saplala. Annoyingly this dino necklace has -- har -- since become extinct, but the pyrite T Rex necklace is still around.
Yes, that actually is a salmon-colored (like, if you laid a piece of lox down on top of it, it'd camouflage so perfectly that you'd only be able to find it again by the smell) polyester jumpsuit -- not a dress, as there are TWO DEFINED LEGS! -- covered in leopards. The leopards, for some reason, have comically long white whiskers. And, it's just the gift that keeps giving, as it's got WOODEN buttons, an intense collar, and a drawstring. You know -- to emphasize your waist. As if anyone's gonna notice your waist. It's so Mrs. Roper, who's always been a style icon to me, and sadly I don't mean that with a hint of irony (nor, clearly, a shred of dignity).
($47.50, Alexis Bittar)
($131.25, Alexis Bittar)
($47.50, Alexis Bittar)
($72.50, Alexis Bittar)
($22.99, Fire, Tillys.com)
($150, Laeken, Ssense.com)
($759, Tsumori Chisato, SSense.com)
-010604.jpg)
($119, Matiko, Solestruck.com)
