I Miss You Like The Deserts Miss The Rains

Hello from the Hyatt New Brunswick. (West Brunswick? East? I don't know. Also, why are there that many Brunswicks? One's really enough.) Oddly, the room service is quite good here.


My SINCEREST apologies for the delay in blogging. It's NOT because I'm mad at you or anything. What? You heard I was mad at you? WHO told you that? That's SO not even true? Ew. Don't believe anything she says. Come on. She's an idiot. I would NEVER.


Seriously. I miss you! I miss our talks! I've been traveling like a BAWSSE. First I was in Palm Springs taking in all of the angular mid-century modern architecture and Googie signs and enjoying NOT WORKING for a few days. Then I came back to work, endured the resultant shitstorm as one does when they're out of the office and Outlook is like OH HELL NAW when you try to make some semblance of sense of the gravitas of the gravity of your inbox, and then I turned around and went to New Jersey for Bamboozle. (SHUT UP. IT'S FOR WORK.) Which explains the Brunswick.


Anyway, this is a blog about SHOPPING, so let me quickly share that I got a pair of Nike x Liberty of London Dunk Sky Hi platform wedge hi-top sneakers, and HOLY SHIT, they're the best things I threw a honit and twenty at in a minute.

$130, Nike, Nordstrom
These things corner like they're on rails.

Next thing I don't regret buying at all -- the apotheosis of the best-ever boyfriend jeans: Current/ Elliott's Boyfriend Jeans. Best fit, best slouch, and best of all, I sized about three sizes down. Thanks, C/E, for that body image shot in the arm.

$206, Current/ Elliott/ Shopbop.com

Okay. More blogging soon, I assure you so can sleep well tonight. INCREDIBLE tinted moisturizer with a cruiseship-sized boatload of SPF, gorgeous geode jewelry and other fun finds. But I REALLY must shower and wash the power pop off of me. And the Jersey. (No offense.)

I Love Love Mert's Wooden Crystal Necklace & Faceted Rings

Need I even explain why I love Love Mert's painted wooden "crystal" necklace and faceted wood rings? They're handmade in Lake Tahoe, California using wood from designer Melissa Michelsen's dad's workshop. They're the perfect way to do folksy art teacher without looking like Ms Lippie from "Billy Madison." (Not that I wasted a cumulative 144 hours or so of my life that I'll never get back watching that movie during college or anything.)

Below are a few snaps of my favorite pieces Love Mert's doing for fall. The crystal necklaces start at $32 each and are available this summer on Endless.com. And the Trae rings are $36. No, that's not a typo.

 

LL Bean's Signature Collection Has About 1 Million Cute Things

Believe it. Yes, I too think of fly fishing and WASPs in sensible shoes when I think of LL Bean. But the brand has taken a cue from J. Crew and the heritage-Americana trend and SIGNIFICANTLY stepped it up in the appealing-to-younger-sorts department with their Signature collection, which references the brand's timeless signature pieces with the understanding that the Internet now exists and everything's gotten cuter. And this younger sort right here is 100 percent ready to board the USS LL Bean Signature, which is setting sail for Cuteness Cove... Or something.


As you're surely aware, LL Bean started out as a sportswear company back in approximately 1302 AD, when people depended on killing beavers to survive and needed to wear proper footwear and rainproof outdoorsy gear to then trade the fur pelts for crude forms of thread and early iPod docking stations. I mean... that's kind of a fractured version of LL Bean's history, but I'm pretty sure it's pretty close. LL Bean was clothing of necessity, not of desire. But their Signature collection, which was given a retro update and features smart, sophisticated, easy-to-wear and simple-to-style summer staples, is a far cry from what your great grandfather, Ulysses P. McGillicutty Honeypot, wore to roll logs and shuck clams or whatever olde-tymey people from New England did back then. Or still do. I don't know. I'm from Cleveland.


Whatever, check out the seahorse pants and looks I love from the lookbook, which was styled by The Glamourai.

$79.99, LL Bean Signature

Y'all. LL Bean Signature seahorse batik pants must be seen to be fully appreciated. I bought a pair, and they're so Carole King-dreamy, and you'd best believe I'll style them with a leather jacket and my Tuleste Market black open-toe rosette booties. Also, you're in luck, because the seahorse pants are on sale for $79.

$59, LL Bean Signature

And like, would YOU EVER in your life think LL Bean would tie-dye ANYTHING? No. You'd be out of your mind. But you're not. Because it's happening. Oh, and this purple tie-dyed maxi skirt is also on sale. No, this isn't heaven. You're actually awake.

$59, LL Bean SignatureCute batik boatneck top! Never in a million could I, a woman with, let's say, ample curves, pull this off, but if you're not chesty, I imagine this would look full-frontal adorbs on you. And if you have black leather pants, I really think you should do that.

$79, LL Bean Signature
See? Twill school-teacher skirts can be SO CUTE!

$89, LL Bean Signature
REALLY cute bellbottom jeans, right?

$149, LL Bean Signature

I actually might consider violating my own no-ruffles-on-adults rule for this silk 8-bit crane print dress.

Oh yeah, LL Bean Signature has perma free shipping. Which is just beyond generous if you ask me.

Disclosure: I was invited to a private press preview and received a gift card. The more you know!

Yeardley Smith, The Voice Of Lisa Simpson Has A Really Cute Shoe Collection Called Marchez Vous

Weird, right? But I've heard weirder (as a Jew who went to college in the mountains of Virginia, TUHRUST me, I've heard and seen weirder). 

So, Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, has her own collection of shoes called Marchez Vous. I recently checked out the collection at a private preview where I met Yeardley, and you guys, she's your long-lost BFF (who also... happens to be one of the most recognizable voices on the Earth's surface). This woman is an absolute fucking firecracker, and is obviously living her best life because she took her love of shoes and turned it into a job, and keeps a coterie of EXTREMELY good-looking men at her ready at all times. (One's her trainer, and this dude in the photo is like... a Clark Kent-ish sort who she chills with because he's really attractive and because she can. Because she's smart.) Oh, and she loves cats. Great, right? Again, trust me when I tell you that Yeardley is uproariously funny, and I want to go on a wine-tasting trip with her and do karaoke with her, and talk about shoes and dudes and cats. Also, her entire lifestyle (hat tip to Beauty Blogging Junkie, from whom I co-opted the gratuitous use of the term "lifestyle") merits a reality show. Andy Cohen, if you're watching, I would watch this woman every week, so please get on that kthx.

Kanye West Accidentally Left His Mara Hoffman Bag At My House

I just finished writing a StyleUnited piece on beach bags, and I just so happened to happen upon this Mara Hoffman's King Tut beach bag. I kinda feel like Kanye West would carry this bag to the beach. Or have someone carry this bag for him. Also, the Kanye version of this bag would be made of platinum, thread woven from gold and Karl Lagerfeld's own hair, and unbridled ego.

$231, Mara Hoffman, RevolveClothing.com

Honestly, though my affection and affinity for this print is immeasurable. No one bag should have all that power. It's like someone took a photo copy of my soul.

Westward Leaning Sunglasses Are The Only Sunglasses I Want On My Face

Ohai, I'm wearing Westward \\ Leaning sunglasses. ALSO I'm on Instagram at Yisthisisdog.

Yep, this is GPOY, and yes, those are Westward \\ Leaning sunglasses, and yes, they're OBSCENELY flattering, and yes, they're the only sunglasses I'll ever put on my face-ness. Hashem forbid there were a fire in my place, I'd save these. Except I wouldn't have to because they'd probably either already be on my face. 

Westward \\ Leaning's Robert Denning and Karlygash Burkibayeva are based out of San Francisco, and each of the 11 variations on Wayfarers pay tribute to a person, place, social or movement or natural resource -- serious melty hearts over the Castros, named for Harvey Milk. And, even better, $10 from each pair goes to an educational charity. AND they'll replace your sunglasses for free if you're unhappy with them or something happens to them. (Like, if your sunglasses happen to become unhappy.)

I'm wearing the No. 5s, AKA Love Thy Neighbor, created in honor of the people and culture of Mexico. The TDF beading detail is created with tiny Chaquira beads inspired by the beaded mosaics made by the Huichol people of western central Mexico. Ten bucks from each sale of this style goes to Love Thy Neighbor Mexico, a small non-profit -profit campaign that uses social media, education and art to spread awareness about the connection between the demand for illicit drugs in the US and the drug war in Mexico.  Seriously, when was the last time sunglasses made you think so hard... or LOOK SO GOOD. (Various famous folks have worn them, but I ASSURE YOU it's the design of these glasses, and not, say Kate Bosworth's genetic design that's responsible for making said celebs look so good.) I am LEGIT fine with saying these look like they were made for my face. The cat-eye-meets-Wayfarer style is WHERE I NEED TO BE. Cheek to cheek.

$275, Westward \\ Leaning

* Disclaimer: I was gifted these sunglasses... and THANK YOU!

Watch It: May 28th Watches Come In A Milli Different Styles AND They're Only $38!

No offense, Swatch, but I kinda just fell rill hard for a different plastic watch. How YOU doin', May 28? Oh, you've got all kindsa floral textile print watches? AND also like 1 billion other styles? AND I can mix and match straps? AND each watch is named for a different time, AND AND AND you're just $38 each? Okay, great! I'll take one of each, please. Kthxbai.

Oh, PS, they're on sale at Fab.com.