Instagram Marshmallows And Vibrating Animal Butt Phone Charms: All Of Your Holiday Gift Dilemmas SOLVED!

Is there a better world to live in than the world that affords you the ultimate first-world opportunity to print out your Instagrams onto EDIBLE MARSHMALLOWS!?!? (Also, lest you ride me about excess and holidays being about giving and not getting, and Americans are terrible consumerists, which is, to be fair, true, I donated to UNICEF, WNYC, God's Love We Deliver, and usually give to Be The Match around the holidays, so get bent.)

THIS IS A REAL AND TRUE THING!

Boomf: Your food and cat photos or whatever, printed onto marshmallows for just $19

Witness the miracle fusing of technology and gelatin by giving the gift of Boomf (these people were 1000 percent correct in assuming there's a market for Insta-mallows because, hi, me), where you can print out nine Instagrams onto REAL, EDIBLE MARSHMALLOWS for approximately $19. What you do with them is your business. Is it weird or cool that I want to print out a bunch of Peeps and make super meta marshmallows?

Not feeling Boomfs for that hard-to-shop-for person you don't really like anyway? Get to gettin' to these vibrating animal butt charms for phone. And if you don't know anyone who'd like either of these gifts, then you're probably hanging out with the wrong people.

Rakuten.co.jp, via Rocketnews24

Holiday Gift Guide Day 4: Camper Together x Bernhard Willhelm Boots & Makeup Forever All Eyes On You Set

The fruits of Camper's "Together" collaborative efforts with Bernhard Willhelm are so glorious that they deserve their own winter holiday where we gather around a fake plastic tree and sign pagan songs in symbolic honor of these zip-up boots. Sounds festive, right? I saw them in the basement of Opening Ceremony and just stood there, openly worshiping false idols like a bad little Jew.

$545, Camper Together x Bernhard Willhelm, Opening Ceremony

Holiday Gift Guide Day 1: Fresh Hesperides Grapefruit Fragrance & a-Thread Funfetti Sweater!

Ho ho ho, hoes! The holiday season is upon us! And while some boring-ass contrarian types may balk at an entire month devoted to consumerism, I say FUCK THEM -- GETTING PRESENTS IS THE BEST THING (besides carbs and white wine). Those Dismal Doras deserve no presents and should never know the joy of latkes or Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You." 

Spend that money on yourself since they're so unappreciative. 

This month, I'm bringing you some of my favorite holiday gift picks for any fun chick (yourself included) on your shopping list. Check out some of my favorite apparel, accessories, beauty products, shoes, art, and experiences, plus some cool charitable organizations so you can give back as you get.

$38, Fresh, Sephora.com

I recently discovered Fresh's Hesperides grapefruit fragrance, and there's probably no turning back for me. It's a fresh (duhr), crisp, clean, reinvigorating fragrance that's made me realize that sometimes it's just as nice to smell like a fruit as it is a flower. Plus, I'm pretty sure I now smell like one of those people who juice ALL THE TIME.