RORY SEZ: Too Much Leopard Print Is Just Enough

Hey new friends! Me, Rory, here. The main reason why Tamar and I are friends is because of Rory, her cat... the OTHER reason is because of our mutual love of leopard print. I know you just met me and stuff, but let's get right into it. When it comes to leopard print (for men or women), too much is just enough.

I feel like right now is my time... I feel like the moment is now... I feel blessed that almost every fashion house has delivered leopard print in one form or another since the winter of 2009, I'm talking everyone from bougie brands like Givenchy to street brands like Crooks & Castles to store brands like Zara &Topman. It's like everywhere you look, and I am NOT complaining.

Some people say leopard is trashy... I say, fuck you. Right now some of my top mens' leopard print picks are:

These Joyrich drop crotch pants are a must have. Like Tamar, I totally have issues with drop crotch. I was blessed with no ass and when I wear drop crotch it looks like I'm carrying a load in my pants. However with THESE... I'm willing to overlook that. It could be a load of CASH for all you know, ok? My pants are leopard. Let's focus.

This little leopard print bow-tie from Patricia Field is like the perfect way to subtly add leopard to your look. It's not gonna hit your coworkers over the head unless you're pairing it with a leopard dress shirt, in which case they won't even see it. This bow-tie is EVERYTHING... and at $12.00, why are you still reading this?

Another subtle way to add some RAWR to your look is in the shades. These Hoss sunglasses from Von Zipper deliver. My favorite part is the gold band on the side to make them extra tacky, and for that I am grateful.

Another Joyrich gem is this leopard studded fanny pack. It's EVERYTHING. If you're going to be ballsy enough to rock a fanny pack (or "belt bag" as the classy folk at Gucci call it)... you might as well go balls to the wall and rock one that's leopard AND studded. AM I RIGHT?!

$290, DrMartens

Last but certainly not least my pick for leopard footwear comes from our friends across the pond at Dr. Martens. NOT ONLY are they leopard print, but they're ITALIAN HAIR LEOPARD PRINT. Hopefully it's not hair from the cast of the "Jersey Shore" or something. Anywho... these could be worn with pants or shorts because really, they're like the Reese's of footwear -- there's no wrong way to wear them. Their price point is a little high, but the way I justify shit like this to my therapist is to just say that you can't put a price on happiness, and they can't question that.

I'd also like to just throw this out there for any (straight) men who are uncomfortable with my selections... get chu one of these on your arm and you'll be good to go.

L.A.M.B. Tweed Harem Pants = Oof.

Surely tweed button-up harem pants would look amazing on Gwen Stefani... And that's it.

($275, L.A.M.B., Shopbop)

Love Gwen, love L.A.M.B., but tweed and harem pants are a classic example of "never the two shall meet." And also "just because you can doesn't mean you should."

I think Ruscha said it best when he said ...

Word.

Random Stuff I Want + Some Horrid Stuff I Definitely DON'T Want

DRESSES
($328, Iodice, Couturecandy.com)
Iodice = pretty princess!!


($328, Iodice, Couturecandy.com)
See??? Toldja!


($178, Max Azria BCBG, Nordstrom)


($108, Fighting Eel, Shopgreenapple.com)
Hip, hip HOORAY for black and grey!



($396, Jenni Kayne, Shopbluegenes.com)
Cute enough, no?


($210, Poshgirlvintage.com)
So darling, but, um... about that 26" waist? Yeah.


($28, Nyandcompany.com)
Apparently the formerly MORTS New York & Company now has some cute stuff! Yay!



TOPS
($235, Rory Beca, Activeendeavors.com)
Eeee! Interlocking bird graphic!


($162, Mike & Chris, Chocosho.com)
Oh Mike & Chris. When, oh when, will you sell out and do a line for Target?

($60, Coexist, Shopgreenapple.com)
Get it? Los York? "Los" and "York"? Get it!?


BAGS
($50, Oohboutique.com)
Such a perfect fall bag.


($32, Amiciaccessories.com)
HeLLOOOOO Crayola brights!


($13, Lulusfashionlounge.com)
Presh!


($48, Vintage, Polkadotsandmoonbeams.com)
Totes fun.


($165, Virginia Johnson, Activeendeavors.com)
... Speaking of totes, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, 'ki have EVERY Virginia Johnson bag they have over at Active Endeavors??? Oh, and the tops too, please.

RANDOM THING
($4, Weheartheartbreaker.etsy.com)
These '80s/'90s teen heartthrob bedazzled watches are effing hilarious. I love that Andrew McCarthy gets his due here. And yes, that's Joey Jeremiah for all you Canooks/ watchers of Degrassi High. He was the Northern version of Jon Cryer, for all of you unawares.


HORBS STUFF
($140, Superfine London, Shopjake.com)
I actually love a lot of Superfine London's jeans, but these are absolutely an execption. Why? Oh, because they're SILVER! Awful.


($185, Iodice, Couturecandy.com)
Even having arms like this lady with the Anna Karenanakournikovanoff crazy eyes is no reason to wear butterfly sleeves. So terrible. So Stevie Nicks. So bad.


($363, Raw-7, Couturecandy.com)
This sweater is what's wrong with today's youth.


(Juicy Couture, Neiman Marcus)
There's so much wrong here I just don't even know where to start, so I won't.

(575, Neiman Marcus)
Um, is this kid freaking you out? Because he's totally freaking me out right now.


(Apprx $33 USD, Laredoute.co.uk)
Remember all those jokes about what was in MC Hammer's pants and why they hung so low? They totally apply. Do these pants come with adult diapers or something? So terrible. I am slowly taking back what I said about the UK LaRedoute being so far superior from its US sister. At least we don't have poopy pants!!!