DYNASTY BARBIES! I DY! Plus: IMPORTANT Barbie News!

PEOPLE! GET READY! There are DYNASTY BARBIES in this world! An Alexis Barbie and a Krystle Barbie to herald the 30th anniversary of Dynasty.

If you've been reading this blog for more than a minute plus, you may possibly know that '80s power dressing is my FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD (besides cats). Metallic jacquards, all sequins all the time! It was a time when lamé wasn't lame, everyone overdressed and overaccessorized for EVERYTHING, makeup was generally WAY too dark, shoulder pads weren't met with the abhorrence one associates with a used condom. Ah, those were better, tackier, happier days.

Check out the new Dynasty Barbies. I think I may need to buy Alexis because I was always a bigger fan of her, and because the detailing on her dress is more majah.

They're $34.95 each at BarbieCollector.com.

Also, how CUUUUUTE is the new "She Said Yes" Barbie and Ken set commemorating Barbie and Ken's getting-back-togetherness? (Disclosure: I was sent the set --- and THANK YOU! I LOVE!)

($13.91, Amazon)

I like how they're dressed to go on a beach holiday and I'm into the fact that Barbie's wearing a throwback take on her original maillot. I do have to say though, that Ken's ombre trunks, his slimmed-down waist, and his very blond hair have me wondering if he's more a friend of Judy than of Barbie. Oh wells! To the happy couple!

Joan Collins x Alexis Bittar

Because I live a VERY glamorous life -- trust me -- I was walking down the unBELIEVABLY chic streets of East Broadway at 8:50 or so in the morning one recent morning, en route to the FINEST post office in Lower Manhattan -- the Knickerbocker branch, where you're always greeted with a smile -- and on the makeshift walkway next to all of the not-at-all gritty ongoing construction, I passed a splintery wooden board with THIS snipe -- JOAN EFFING COLLINS for ALEXIS BITTAR. It was like the heavens had parted and a rainbow unfurled and splashed out across a fucking wooden board. My FAVORITE 1980s power dresser and power bitch for my favorite jewelry designer, Alexis Bittar. Lucite, shoulder pads, a frosted smoky eye, and unbridled backstabbing and rage = LOVE, no?

Find out more about this holy hybrid came to be on Alexis Bittar's blog.

Why Aren't I Wearing: This Vintage Frank Usher Dress?

POWER DRESSING JACKPOT! The description of this bonkersly rad 1980s dress basically parallels everything I want my life to be. (I've bolded the most attractive parts to emphasize how much they relate to everything I love and strive for.)

(Apprx $240 USD, Frank Usher, Freudianslipvintage.com)

An incredible vintage 1980's Frank Usher beaded cocktail gown, with substantial shoulder pads. Literally dripping with beading, bold silver sequins and bugle beads are encrusted across the shoulders and cuffs, and in a zig zag band across the front and back bodice. The dress is in black silk chiffon, with a sheer panel across the top of the bodice. The remainder of the dress is sprinkled throughout with sparkling black bugle beads. An exceptional dress for the party season, and in a really wearable size!

The extent to which I'm considering buying this is troubling me.

+ SWEET 1980s Frank Usher top on eBay. Remember the name "Frank Usher" and save it your eBay searches AHORA.