2 AWESOME Prom Dresses For Prom Season (Trust Me, You'll Be The Only One Wearing Them!)

£39.99, Fancydresscostumes.co.uk

Come on, girls. Think you'll find a better, cheaper, trendier, or more topical prom dress than this horse burger ensemble? Neigh. I can't think of a more fashionable way to say "what's in your burger" on prom night. Bonus #1: Chance are you'll be the only one wearing this burger horse to prom, so you can put any fears of a Brenda/Kelly same-dress disaster aside. Bonus #2: In case you're thinking about going "all the way" prom night, then you're already wearing plenty of rubber. Safety counts!

Ew.

Still not convinced? Lucky for you, I found this Alexander McQueen embellished drop waist dress, which just screams "prom"! Gently worn, only $40,000 -- it was originally $70,000, so this is a relative steal. You'll DEFINITELY be the only one in that. 

$40,000, Alexander McQueen, Chiclildevil.com

Best Prom Dress Ever

Found my prom dress, you guys! It's called the Betty Draper in sweet shades of Narcissus!

Via Chateau Thombeau

I like how she's all "it's my party, and I'll die if I want to."

BTW, speaking of prom, these horrible, awful, very bad prom dresses STILL hold up!

Random Wedding Dress Love: Jovani (Plus A Few Gross Options For Prom!)

Jovani makes some wack-ass shit, to be sure. Especially in the prom dress department. Like, for example this PLAID, TAFFETA prom dress:

Plaid and taffeta -- never the two shall meet. Except for that they DID.

... And this prom dress that looks like 1,001 Dalmatians are now about 23 dalmatians short...

... And this dress, which makes me reconsider freedom of expression

But, aside from all of that, I must say, I think this 1930s/1940s-inspired Jovani wedding dress is completely gorgeous:
I'm not sure where you can buy it, but it's Jovani #195779320. Ask for it by name!

+ Classic Binge: When Prom Dresses Attack!

Peacock Prom Dress DISASTER!

($500, Jovani, eDressme.com)

I've put it out there before that I LOVE peacock ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. Peacock dresses, earrings, tops, whatever. But this "peacock prom dress" is an egregious affront on my senses. If I were a peacock, I'd be highly offended. Also, I love how it's not returnable. Um, because clearly they DON'T want this piece of peacock shit back. Also, my prom was like a MILLION years ago, and also, I didn't go, but I'm PRETTY sure that while there had to have been some regrettable picks, NO ONE would've showed up in this overly literally interpretation of one of nature's most beautiful feathered creature.

+ More prom dress messes.
+ More PEACOCK FASHION!

When Prom Dresses Attack

So, it's prom season, and I'm looking to see "what the kids are wearing these days," since my very own prom was over a decade ago, and also, I didn't even attend it! (I was too busy doing dorky Jewish Leadership Stuff! And I looked totally like Blossom, to make the dorky Jewish Leadership Stuff even more dorky!)

Anyway, here are just a few of the monstrosities I discovered.



($49, Cybergown.com)
This chick is totally gonna get voted Most Likely To Work at a Renaissance Faire The Summer After High School. And there's a reason this dress is only $49.



($79, Cybergown.com)
Most Likely To Still Wet the Bed



($278, Xcite, cbslimited.com)
While there's no question that this dress is completely vulgar, I'd like to draw your attention to the set. WTF? Is that a walk-in tanning booth???



($430, Excite, Simplydresses.com)
Again with the weird tanning/ spa situation. Two in the tub is more fun than one! And these dresses are such a flagrant violation of sense and sensibility that they're ALMOST fun. (Almost.)



($217, Bedazzle, Loralie.com)
From afar there's nothing wrong at all with this one. I LOVE that timeless look of the strapless, drop waist with tulle skirt. BUT. Look more closely. Those flowers are HIDEOUS and SO early '90s. Like the Limited Too puked down the front of an otherwise darling dress. Boo.



($295, Alyce, Therosedress.com)
"I'm not like a regular mom, okay? I'm a cool mom."



($89, Cybernetplaza.com)
Mmm... 100% polyester chiffon... And the choker really adds that little touch of je nais se quoi.



($119, La Femme, Promgirl.com)
The harlequin with lamp lawn lantern look is huge this season.



($59, cybergown.com)
Now don't you think this is just the perfect example of the type of thing that would send the Messiah STRAIGHT back to where s/he came from should s/he alight upon the earth and find THIS garbage roaming the halls of our educational institutions?? Shit, I know I'd be on the first flight back to heaven.



WTF is going on with that dude in the background???




Oooh! Jazzzzay!!!



($389, Promgirl.com)
Most Likely To Work At An Escort Service After Graduation. Don't you just love the "Who me???" pose?



($318, La Femme, tjformal.com)
Most Likely To Already Work At An Escort Agency



($69, Cybergown.com)
Most Likely To Get Pregnant On Prom Night



($389, Promgirl.com)
Most Likely... To Not Be Asked To Prom



($199, Cybergown.com)
Oh fuck no.



($259, Cybergown.com)
They're all gonna laugh at you!


Okay. I just can't do it anymore. My eyes are about to bleed rainbow sequins.


I leave you with a dress I actually LIKE:

($500, Jovani, eDressme.com)