Defending J.Lo

My esteemed colleage T-Lo(quacious) recently made a disparaging comment about the design skills of Jennifer Lopez. Fie, I say! This is clearly poppycock, for girlfriend makes some cute-ass tops. I actually ordered such an item several months ago (a strappy red going-out top intended to be worn to an actual club, the likes of which I had not set foot in in years — the things we go through for our marrying friends!). However, the top was delivered to my magazine's fashion department, of which I am not a member, and never seen again. See? Even fashion people secretly like J.Lo, enough to steal her wares from humble copy editors! I submit the following as fine examples of the J.Lo aesthetic, and urge you to shop J.Lo proudly:



This is a pretty basic top, but love that twistiness at the neck. I was just thinking I need way more low-cut tops; this might be the ticket. $35.



Yes, this is really J.Lo! Tie-neck top, on sale for $14.99.



The sort of top that'll make you look like you might be hiding a pregnancy, or at least a few extra cheeseburgers. But cute, no? Ruffle top with beads, $59.



Aren't horseshoes considered lucky? Better safe than sorry. I'd wear this over cropped jeans, possibly while on the 6 (get it?), and then no one would, like, push me in front of an oncoming train (a frequent fear). J.Lo to the rescue! Halter top, $49.



And oh my God, this strapless top is so precious I sort of do want to die for it. Luckily (see??) it can be mine (or yours) for $59. And it comes with the belt! Amazing.

Of course, there's also this:



Slutty crochet halter, $51.99.

Caveat emptor, brahs and sahs.