Nicole Richie Dressed Like Karl Lagerfeld At The Met Gala

Slow clap for this unintentional homage, homie. I don't care. I love it.

Unkle Karl ich nicht amused.

+ More Met Gala photos from my friends at MTV Style.

Photo credits: Nicole Richie, Refinery 29; Uncle Karl, The Gloss

Are These Crocs For Strippers?

$9.99, Crocs

Where have I been? Crocs have gotten downright scandalous! What happened to the green turtles-in-the-half-shell Crocs with the little Minnie Mouse doohicky snap-in stud things? You know -- footwear's way of saying "I give no fucks at all." 

Look at these metallic suede Crocs (which, please note, were $99 and are now just $9.99)! They're the color of sizzurp! It's like those yung Crocs went off to state college, skipped class, blazed mad blunts, discovered trap, popped some Molly and then made it rain honits. These are the "Rack City" of Crocs. The "Bandz A Make Her Dance." Crocs, you got downright freak nasty on me. I see you twerkin'. Go 'head. Get Paid. 

These F-Troupe Parrot Print Wedges Are My Singular Focus

Approximately $194 USD, F-Troupe

Seriously, not another word from you unless it's about these F-Troupe parrot print wedges, and that's absolutely final. I can't commit my brain to anything other than these shoes, which are sold out on Solestruck -- DAMN IT -- but the UK F-Troupe site has them, and they ship to the U.S. for a nominal fee. And really, how can you even put a price on the sheer unadulterated bliss that would be owning parrot shoes, you know? Also, use promo code MAYDAY for 20% off through May 7. Caw!! Wait, that's a crow. A parrot would just repeat everything I just said, and honestly, I think these parrot shoes are so good that it bears repeating.

The Hatters' Oui & Fuck Off Rings: Mais oui!

$40, The Hatters

Do I speak French? Non. But do I love The Hatters' cute little oui ring? Oui. Oui, I do. Do I like the $40 price? Also, oui! 

By the way, The Hatters is Stephen Davis and jewelry designer Michelle Kim, and they clearly have a sense of humor, as evidenced by these delicate, yet strongly worded "Fuck Off" rings:

$18, The Hatters

$10, The Hatters

Also, you'd be hard pressed to find a better diamond ring for just 10 bucks.

Adidas x Opening Ceremony Rod Laver Striped Hi Top Sneakers: Gone, But Not Forgotten

+ UPDATE: Urban Outfitters has the Adidas x Opening Ceremony Rod Laver sneakers in WOMEN'S sizes! 10% off with promo code "WACKSLACKS." DONE! Thank you, Based God! +

$175, Opening Ceremony x Adidas Rod Laver Hi tops, Urban Outfitters

When will I learn that spending two months deliberating in a most Woody Allen of fashions whether or not to buy a limited edition pair of sneakers will almost always result in a frantic demon drop down the rabbit hole/ Baby Jessica well of the deepest depths of online destinations and shoe store phone calls, only to discover there's no light at the end of the tunnel, and the the Adidas x Opening Ceremony Ron Laver striped hi sold out. I have the opposite of FOMO. I have ToMO -- Totally Missed out. If you or someone you love know where to find a men's size 6 By the way, the girl at Opening Ceremony was a total doll and called both stores to see if there were any in stock. The girl at Adidas Originals, was, sadly a besnatch. 

If you need me, I'll be consoling myself with my $2.99 CVS avocado deep conditioning treatment. 

I Bought A Breville Juicer, And I'm So Into It That I'll Even Share Some Juice Recipes With You

$99, Breville, Amazon

Sorry/ not sorry, guys. I've become one of "those people." (No, not a Scientologist.) One of those Brooklyn-y people who juice. No, I'm not gonna chew your ear off about like alt-cashew butter from the Park Slope Co-op or berate you for not joining a CSA or whatever, but I am gonna take a minute to tell you that I bought a Breville juicer -- the BJE200XL Juice Fountain, specifically -- and it is my chief area of concern. Like Mike Myers' mom says in "So I Married An Axe Murderer," "I juice everything now."

Now please be aware, I enjoy being basically healthy, but I am also innately lazy and feel like, for instance, making a salad sometimes feels like a lot of effort, what with the washing, and the drying, and the slicing and dicing and knowing things and the sighing. After a long, hard day of charting Justin Bieber's relationship at my place of business, it just feels like too much. But I'm not too lazy to wash some spinach, peel a few things and then utterly destroy them. Seriously, I cannot overemphasize how fun it is to destroy things. Plus, the results are delicious. And as a results-oriented type A human being, I'm wholly satisfied by the feeling of consuming an entire bag of kale, another bag of spinach, and a few pieces of fruit all in one glass. I'd be so annoyed, in a very asshole-ish first-world way, having to figure out what to do with all of that produce otherwise. 

All of that became this.

I researched juicers -- and by research I mean I spent approximately six minutes reading Amazon reviews -- and the Breville BJE200XL had the best reviews, especially for quality and easy-to-clean-ability, two things I value in anything that needs to be quality and easy to clean. Also, my kitchen is approximately the size of a newborn's thumbnail, and the juicer doesn't take up too much space. Also, anyone who says juicing is expensive is clearly high: I spent $100 on the machine, I buy two huge bags of fruits and veggies for $30 or so (note -- I don't always buy organic, but we're all gonna die some day, so... meh?) and end up with about four quarts of juice. I like Blueprint and Organic Avenue as much as the next Jewish girl who likes yoga and Equipment blouses, but one bottle of those is like $10, and I'm straight stuntin' on endless DIY ounces at home. In the words of Macklemore, I call that getting swindled and pimped. I call that getting tricked by a bizznass.

Go, get a Breville, check out two of my favorite juice recipes -- add alcohol, if you're so inclined -- and enjoy the benevolence of telling people you're now into juicing.

Your Basic Green Juice: 
2 stalks of celery 4 romaine leaves -- totally optional 
However much kale you want -- it's a free country! 
1 - 2 cups of spinach -- again, do what you want! 
1 - 3 green apples 
1 peeled cucumber 
1 peeled lemon 
1 small piece of ginger 
Maybe an orange if you're feeling particularly dangerous 
Directions: Put everything into the juicer, break stuff, enjoy! 

Beet Carrot Apple Ginger Orange Juice -- inspired by WithStyleAndGrace's Pretty In Pink juice 
3 beets -- wash, peel, cut into fourths 
5 - 6 carrots 
2 - 4 apples 
1 - 2 oranges 
1 lemon 
Directions: Put everything into the juicer, break stuff, enjoy!

Ayo, leave me juice recipes you like in the comments. 

I Can't Stop Thinking About Urban Decay's 40-Eyeliner Vault Set

Y'all. The fact that Urban Decay created a 40-set vault of their phenomenal eyeliners (if there were somehow an appealing mix of butter and velvet, these would be that) exists has me fuhreaking out and obsessing on like a deep, emotional Sarah McLachlan level. Unfortunately for me, the set sold out in NINE HOURS, so I'll have to dry my first-world tears and console myself with my favorite Urban Decay eyeliner shade, Lucky.

Still, I'm having odd visions of myself worshipping this set, gently kissing it reverently like the Torah. It's like the Sistene Chapel of beauty products -- you never really fully grasp its magnificence until you stand in its presence. 

What? Don't act like you've never felt all spiritual about eyeliner. What? Don't even act like you're not listening to "Possession" for the fifth time in 30 minutes!

Cherry Bombe Is A Gorgeous New Magazine Celebrating Women And Food, Because Women Actually Eat And Even Enjoy It

I know that to some this may sound strange, but women like to eat (give us the right to vote and birth control and a few seats in the Senate, and we just end up getting totally carried away, amirite?) It may also come as a surprise to some that many women -- most, even! -- like to eat things richer and more exciting than salads or Lean Cuisines or highly processed, ersatz dairy products that reduce us to orgasmic moans, as most yogurt commercials would have you believe. (I know this may be a lot to take in -- if you need a moment to wipe your brow or steel yourself against the back of your chair, please pause to do so.)

And I swear I'm not even making this up: there's a brand-new biannual indie magazine called Cherry Bombe. (This magazine's not the swipey type. It's the old-fashioned parchment kind that used to live and breathe on the racks of all of those book stores that are mainly now either Starbucks, real estate offices, or hollowed-out, carpet-stained ghost boxes.)

Cherry Bombe is the brainchild of editorial and beauty/ fashion PR exec Kerry Diamond (she also owns Brooklyn restaurants Seersucker, Nightingale 9 and Smith Canteen with chef Rob Newton, who happens to be her boyfriend) and graphic designer Claudia Wu, and it celebrates women and food from a smart, stylish perspective and features a roster of (nearly) all-female contributors, chefs, artists, writers, entrepreneurs, photographers and culinary insiders and rebellious outsiders. (There's even an interview with a Harvard microbiologist because women! They're even allowed in labs!) It's an expertly curated food fantasia of guilty pleasures (Good Humor ice cream sandwiches!), aspirational alimentary experiences, recipes, reviews, and supermodels mixing cookie batter (that would be cover girl Karlie Kloss with Milk Bar's Christina Tossi), and it looks lovely on your coffee table, as I can attest.

Cherry Bombe is a 172-page (again, analog, print: weird!) all-girl jaunt around the food world, with stops in the East Village, Paris, Portland, Tennessee, and even a snow-covered seed repository in Norway. Think Love meets Bon Appetit meets National Geographic. Think you need to read Cherry Bombe? I think you're right.

Donate to the site's Kickstarter. $20 will get you the premiere issue, $35 will get you the issue and a cute canvas tote bag (love mine -- it's the extra roomy kind!), and if you've got 10 large to drop, you could add "Cherry Bombe Publisher" to your LinkedIn. And to your plate.

I'll Eat You Next, Leopard Print Doc Martens

$130, Dr Marten

Nothing says springtime is time for new combat boots more loudly and proudly than these pink and yellow leopard-print Dr Martens. Anyone else getting high off the Steven Sprouse x Louis Vuitton fumes? Anyone else wanna wear these with a chambray shirt and boyfriend jeans all season long ?Anyone else whipping out their JetBlue Amex at warp speed?

Vivetta's Cat Print Dress Is The Cat Dress To End All Cat Dresses

Oh, Vivetta. You've outdone yourself with your dreamy, ultra '80s Alfonso cat print dress. (For the uninitiated, Vivetta is a Milanese brand named for designer Vivetta Ponti, who's spun whimsical, sugary, Alice-through-the-looking-glass-meets-Lisa-Frank confections into everyday blouses and dresses that make every day much more adorable. Check Modcloth and Yoox.com for the occasional piece.) I want this all over my body harder than anything I've ever wanted on top of me before. My body is ready, Vivetta. In a very soulful, serious Alicia Keys sort of way.

$398, Vivetta, Vivettashop.myshopify.com

$398, Vivetta, Vivettashop.myshopify.com