Tuesday, January 26, 2010

WTF Files: Sorority Dress Code FOR CRAZY PEOPLE


GOD BLESS the good gals at Fashionista. They received, and posted (obviously) a six-page BATSHIT DOCUMENT of what one whore at the clearly distinguished chapter of the Pi Phi sorority at Cornell University deemed appropriate to wear to rush. IT'S SIX PAGES of fashion do's and don'ts. And, unbeknownst to her, most of her don'ts are actually do's and her do's are blatant don'ts. Also, people, this isn't just a rush document. It's a HOW TO LIVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE MANUAL. Seriously, someone give Anna Wintour the boot IMMEDS. This wretched beast is obviously a style GENIUS.

On eyeshadow:
"light pinks look surprisingly good on most people."
NO! NO THEY DO NOT!

On cocktail dresses:
"No satin. no one looks good in satin dresses unless its (sic) from betsey johnson or dolce and gabanna."
Like... HOW do you jump from Betsey Johnson to D&G?

On pants:
"No full length pants of non-jeans material."
IT'S CALLED DENIM, YOU BIG STUPID ASSHOLE!

On shoes that are acceptable:
"mid-height Mary Jane heels or mid-height chunky kate spade"
ALSO KNOWN AS THE FUGLIEST SHOES EVER.

One of my favorite of her directives:
"You best have a mani pedi when you get to Ithaca."

Never mind the vagina monologues. This is the cunt manifesto. Read the whole sordid sorority tale here.

3 comments:

Nunez said...

I have shared this with many friends after seeing it here, its pretty much the funniest thing I've seen in years!!!!! Thanks so much for posting it!!!

Lila said...

This is the type of shoe the manifesto dictates is acceptable. God help them.

Tamron Lohan said...

Lila: I. KNOW! fkldja;lkfdjas;

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