Spotted At Target: Bigfoot

Like any white-blooded, middle-class American, I LOVE Target. But I DO NOT love the fact that from Target, you can procure not one but TWO different Bigfoots (Bigfeet)?

There's this horrifying Bigfoot costume FOR ADULTS:

($74, Target.com)

 

I have nightmares about waking up to something like watching me in my bedroom.

And then there's this Bigfoot toy, which is an exercise in pure terror.

($97.99, Fisher Price, Target.com)

Per the description, this ONE-HUNDRED DOLLAR (!!!??!?!) Bigfoot comes with a remote control that "allows him to walk forward and backwards and the 6 buttons are Happy, Angry, Sleep, Fun, Ball and Exercise." WHAT? "Angry" button? Where's the "Total Panic Attack" button?

I do not BELIEVE this picture of a little boy playing with Bigfoot. You know they Photoshopped a photo of a happy little boy face after the actual little boy shat his pants and ran off, emotionally scarred for life. Could you blame him?