Is It Wrong That I Want This Neon Bag From Charlotte Russe?

$22.50, Charlotte Russe

What does it say about me that as an adult, I'm attracted to a bag from Charlotte Russe? I'm not turning into one of those women who needs someone to pull them aside and tell them to stop shopping at high school places, right? I'm torn between having no fucks to give about possibly being that person and then just being fucked because there's a good chance I probably am... But, this is cute, right? Whatever, I'll just tell everyone it's Opening Ceremony and wait for the understanding coos of approval.

Charlotte Russe Has Miu Miu "Inspired" Glitter Booties

You guys. I don't know. I don't know why. I don't know how. I don't know what possessed me. I think it was the guilt of shallowly, sadly coveting not my neighbor's wife's designer shoes. Her Miu Miu glitter booties. Specifically her glitter booties. I have anguished over my inner desires. And then I snapped. The stress holding back the trestles supporting the dam of my self-restraint broke open like so many dried out twigs ready to ignite. And I bought these Charlotte Russe Miu Miu "INSPIRED" glitter booties. The cheap, five-dollar whore version of the untouchable painted ladies. And what's worse? I BOGO'ed and got the second pair for $15.50. And what's worse than that? I used a promo code (SCREAM11) and got $5.

Can you spot the fakes? Of course you can.

Do I expect anyone to mistake my Charlotte Russe glitter booties for the real-deal Miu Mius? No, of course not. Did spending $59.99 for two knockoffs feel good? Yes, of course.
My shame knows no depth. My bottom is bottomless.

PS: Before you go pointing the finger, Steve Madden's got glitter boot knockoffs
and Topshop does too. Which doesn't, of course, make it right. I'm just rationalizing my guilt by widening my net of shame and blame.

$160, Topshop

 

Binge Impulse Buy! Perfume Shirt, Peacock Necklace

So, I've had an absolutely CRAPTASTIC couple of days. Wah wah wah wah, call the wambulance. I effed my back and ended up at the doctor (Dr. Busey, as I like to call him, because he totally has Gary's chompers), with all sorts of needles up in my shit, and my hand's all fucked up too. WORST. Then I got home yesterday and my neighbor's toilet overflowed, which wouldn't have been so bad if it HADN'T OVERFLOWED INTO MY BATHROOM. It was raining both OUTSIDE AND inside -- in my God damned bathroom. AWESOME.

So, when I wasn't downing painkillers, I indulged in some MUCH-needed e-tail therapy.

($68, Joyrich, Kitson)

I have NO idea why. It was just a good idea at the time. (Same with that sugar-packed Starbucks McSugar Shake thing I had yesterday after the doctor's office, where they also did some nerve testing where they taped all these electrodes onto my legs and flipped the switch and electrocuted me like I was like fucking Jeffrey Dahmer. Well, that's not how he died, but you get my point.) Oh, but promo code "Kitsoncode" saved me 10%. WOOT!

($7.99, Charlotte Russe)

I HAAAATE leather cords, but it's got PEACOCK feathers attached, so the choice was obvious. Free shipping with Charlotte Russe promo code: "AFFFS."

BTW, Charlotte Russe has some really cute stuff coming up for fall. It's funny -- EVERYONE is scrambling to keep up with Topshop. Be on the lookout for some definitely cute jeans and jackets -- but they're like Topshop prices too at $99-ish. Worth it? You tell me. I only have this peacock necklace to go by.

Someone, save me.