Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Seventh On Sale: Fashion Dos & Don'ts Galores

Okay, I don't see what the BFD is about Seventh On Sale. I'm glad it's for a good cause, (100% of the eBay proceeds go to HIV/ AIDS charities, and you can't argue with that... unless you're George Bush or something) but it's basically a black tie flea market. Mainly, I'm confused about what happened to my invite -- it must've gotten lost in the mail. Harumph! Oh well. There's always next year. Til then, let's talk about the abundant fashion mortses, and a few gems too.

While I do agree with one Popsugar commenter, who referred to MK's Giambattista Valli white frock as a "Huggies" dress (tee!), I LOVE the fun, much-ballyhooed hot-pink stilettos (also Giambattista Valli) Mary-Kate wore. The dress is, as most anything she wears over a size 3T, humungo on her, the shoes work. And considering some of the batshit-nuts get-ups she often wears, this is seriously tame. And yes, they're an impractical 18 inches tall or something, but doesn't she have someone she pays to carry her? Observe the look in this less scowly shot below. Yay! ... Now if only she'd get rid of that baby fat already! HOW WOODE!

Jessica Seinfeld also could've wrapped Mary-Kate around her waist for a "pop" of color!

Yes, it's bit flamenco-y, but Jennifer Connelly is spellbinding in Oscar de la Renta, and it fits her so well on top that she actually manages to stand out from the dress and not look like the dress is wearing her. Minus several points though for the Bert and Ernie brows.

Dita Von Teese continues to scare me. Am I supposed to care that she fucked Marilyn Manson?? She reminds me of a slutty Mona Lisa. And what's more, Eve appears to be growing out of the side of her Marchesa gown...

... While Blake Lively appears to be playing an invisible harp growing out of her head while doing an impression of Cher.

Kate Spade may be an arbiter of questionable accessories and often boring little handbags, but she's CLEARLY doing something right since she's a billionairess. She knows what's up, right? So why is she wearing metallic blue ankle straps with this purple pup-tent of a dress? And the belt looks like those tie-down thingies you use to hold down your Igloo cooler to the top of your Rav4. Perhaps she had to dash off to a camping benefit straight away!

Michael Stipe is flashing you. (I smell a LOL Cat in here!)

Can we PLEASE just stop humoring Parker Posey? Yes, she does a funny Southern accent and was hilarious as the Busy Bee lady and great as a creepy fake Jackie O. But she's clearly NUTTY! Just swap out her bag with the New York Times, and you've got suburban "Just Grabbin' The Paper" couture. Seriously, you should not sleep naked in a hotel, lest the fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and you gotta bolt. Should that occur, you should definitely have a poly-sateen bathrobe on hand.

Okay. Beddy-bye time for Tams!


Ali said...

y'know, it's really comforting to hear that there is someone else in the world who thinks Dita Von Teese is slightly creepy.

Jessica said...

connelly actually looks stunning in this dress.

poop magee said...

Yeah, MK is totes FATTY MCGOO.

Also, doesn't Parker Posey's clutch look unusually GINORMOUS? She looks like a lil kid carrying mom's purse!

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