Fall 2012 New York Fashion Week Fall 2012 Trends According To... Me

New York Fashion Week has come and gone faster than that time scrunchies almost happened again (and thank Wang they didn't). Now everyone can stop being like "OMG I'M SOOOOOO STRESSSSSEEEED OUT ABOUT FASSSSSSSIHON WEEK" and get back to being like "OMG I'M SOOOOOO STRESSSSSEEEED OUT ABOUT FASSSSSSSIHON." Oh... sweet, sweet first world privilege! Some people have no filtered water or iodine, others simply have no time to get down to Milk and back to Lincoln Center! THE HORROR.

Anyway, a lovely young journalist at Columbia University's Uptown Radio program asked me to do some guest commentary about the top trends and themes at New York Fashion Week this season. (Here's where you can listen to my fashion week commentary.) So, here's a slightly more in-depth look at all of the cool shit that headed down the runways and will be eventually making its way into magazine spreads and, in a more pedestrian way, onto the racks and backs of regular, garden-variety scrubs like you and definitely like me.

+ MENSWEAR: Overall, there was very little cutesy or stock sexiness going on at fashion week. Sure, it's fall, but everyone was uniformly either very covered up, very buttoned up, and very tailored. Basically, we're becoming a nation of austere puritans where women dress like men but also get to be vixen-ish femme fatales at the same time, like at Jason Wu, St. John, Donna Karan, Michael Kors, and Vivienne Tam. Menswear in all of its various gender-bending iterations was all over that runway in a very '40s way with peplum kicks or noir-ish baggy, louche silhouettes.

Jason Wu, Donna Karan, Vivienne Tam

+ METALLICS: Stunning metallics, especially at Badgley Mishcka, where they did '20s-inspired'80s metallics SO so right. Alexandre Herchcovitch's golds glowed. And that luminous, Chrysler Building-inspired silver Michael Kors gown!!

Prubul Gurung, Badgley Mischka, Michael Kors

+ CRAZY COLLARS: Marc Jacobs, Catherine Malandrino, Vivienne Tam, Ohne Titel, Altuzarra, Rachel Roy, Reed Krakoff, Thom Browne and Badgley Mischka all popped crazy collars, from mysterious, exaggerated turtlenecks that impeded models' eyesight, to creations fashioned out of former furry creatures to Anne Boleyn-chic Baroque collars. And speaking of Baroque, that leads me to...

Rachel Roy, Ohne Titel, Vivenne Tam, Reed Krakoff

+ CRAZY COSTUMES: Dramatic, nostalgia costumes ruled at Marc Jacobs (the most dramatic, fanciful show of the season), Norma Kamali, and OH Marchesa!

+ COLOR TRENDS: Elie Tahari's blues are definitely the new black. Ravishing reds ruled at Zac Posen, Thakoon, Charlotte Ronson, Norma Kamali, Monique Lhuillier, Sophie Theallet, Gary Graham, Chris Benz, Donna Karan, L'Wren Scott and Michael Kors. (Guess I'm gonna have to figure out how to wear red. I'm thinking I need red jeans to pair with a peach top.)

Michael Kors, Creatures of the Wind, Monique Lhullier, Norma Kamali

I'm Truly Not Mad At Rachel McAdams' Wackadoo Marchesa Dress!!!

(Credit: EPA/ DailyMail)

So much cognitive dissonance happening here with Rachel McAdams' Marchesa dress at the Cannes premiere of her new movie, Midnight in Paris. On one hand, it reminds me of the flocked Baroque couch that my grandma gave us when I was little and ended up in the basement. (The couch ended up in the basement. I did not as it smelled like mildew down there.)

On the other hand... it's fucking unapologetically rad. I don't even care that from the side it hung with all of the sartorial aplomb of a Jostens graduation gown. It's totally fussy, completely unsexy, but fully fantastic. You go, Glen Coco!

All I Want For Christmas Is This Marchesa Dress

But there's no way that this black and gold Marchesa work of art -- referred to more commonly as a "dress" -- will ever be mine because

a.) I don't even celebrate Christmas...

b.) Even when it was marked down from $4,830 to $1,449, that's still a no-go, and

Meanwhile,

c.) I was tardy to the party and it's sold out. Because it's from waaaay back in 2008, if you can even remember that far back to when your favorite fashion plate and mine, Miley Cyrus, wore it to the 2008 American Music Awards.

I guess I'll "let" Miley have this one... and pray she holds a big-ass garage sale or something. I'm not proud.

Sample Sale SCORE: Notte By Marchesa Gown!

DOOOODS! I was g-chatting with Lani of Sugar Rock Catwalk (g-chatting makes us sound like we did something DIRTY... or like we're gs...), and I was SO MAD at her because she posted this HUGE round-up of New York City sample sales --- gr gr GRRRR!... And I showed her the result of the Marchesa sample sale I went to back in February. It's the reason I REALLY shouldn't go to sample sales... Because...
I got THIS amazing Notte By Marchesa leopard-print dress (last one in my size -- and it fit, but barely) for $250... Now that is a LOT of fucking cash, don't get me wrong/ believe you me, whatevs, BUT, um... it was originally $1265, so I mean, technically I saved $1015... Right? Right? I also will probably wear it to my rehearsal dinner. Which might be at a pizza place. So?

Seventh On Sale: Fashion Dos & Don'ts Galores

Okay, I don't see what the BFD is about Seventh On Sale. I'm glad it's for a good cause, (100% of the eBay proceeds go to HIV/ AIDS charities, and you can't argue with that... unless you're George Bush or something) but it's basically a black tie flea market. Mainly, I'm confused about what happened to my invite -- it must've gotten lost in the mail. Harumph! Oh well. There's always next year. Til then, let's talk about the abundant fashion mortses, and a few gems too.

While I do agree with one Popsugar commenter, who referred to MK's Giambattista Valli white frock as a "Huggies" dress (tee!), I LOVE the fun, much-ballyhooed hot-pink stilettos (also Giambattista Valli) Mary-Kate wore. The dress is, as most anything she wears over a size 3T, humungo on her, the shoes work. And considering some of the batshit-nuts get-ups she often wears, this is seriously tame. And yes, they're an impractical 18 inches tall or something, but doesn't she have someone she pays to carry her? Observe the look in this less scowly shot below. Yay! ... Now if only she'd get rid of that baby fat already! HOW WOODE!



Jessica Seinfeld also could've wrapped Mary-Kate around her waist for a "pop" of color!


Yes, it's bit flamenco-y, but Jennifer Connelly is spellbinding in Oscar de la Renta, and it fits her so well on top that she actually manages to stand out from the dress and not look like the dress is wearing her. Minus several points though for the Bert and Ernie brows.


Dita Von Teese continues to scare me. Am I supposed to care that she fucked Marilyn Manson?? She reminds me of a slutty Mona Lisa. And what's more, Eve appears to be growing out of the side of her Marchesa gown...


... While Blake Lively appears to be playing an invisible harp growing out of her head while doing an impression of Cher.


Kate Spade may be an arbiter of questionable accessories and often boring little handbags, but she's CLEARLY doing something right since she's a billionairess. She knows what's up, right? So why is she wearing metallic blue ankle straps with this purple pup-tent of a dress? And the belt looks like those tie-down thingies you use to hold down your Igloo cooler to the top of your Rav4. Perhaps she had to dash off to a camping benefit straight away!


Michael Stipe is flashing you. (I smell a LOL Cat in here!)


Can we PLEASE just stop humoring Parker Posey? Yes, she does a funny Southern accent and was hilarious as the Busy Bee lady and great as a creepy fake Jackie O. But she's clearly NUTTY! Just swap out her bag with the New York Times, and you've got suburban "Just Grabbin' The Paper" couture. Seriously, you should not sleep naked in a hotel, lest the fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and you gotta bolt. Should that occur, you should definitely have a poly-sateen bathrobe on hand.


Okay. Beddy-bye time for Tams!