Monday, September 12, 2011

Rachel Roy's Fashion Week Presentation Totally Eclipsed By Kim Kardashian

I took some time out of my busy week of not really going to fashion week by going to fashion week and checking out Rachel Roy's Spring Summer 2012 presentation on the promenade of Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center. The promenade is basically an outdoor balcony where you can smoke before going inside to try to pretend you know what opera actually means. But this morning it was the neutral-hued backdrop of the human stick figure diorama that was Rachel Roy's presentation. (Just kidding, the models were just "regular-skinny," and they were a far more diversely cast group than some of the other shows I've seen this fashion week.)

Soooo, Rachel Roy's presentation was lovely! Themed "romantic minimalism," the collection was an exercise in hushed louche walking pants, slouchy blazers and the occasional Mandarin collar. Very Charlie Girl meets "The Joy Luck Club" meets for Sunday brunch near Central Park. Oh, and Bobbi Brown pulled off some of the best beauty I've seen since this whole fashion week situation happened. The perfect "I'm-not-wearing-any-makeup" makeup. But that's because she's Bobbi Brown and knows what the eff she's doing.
 + Read more about Rachel Roy's S/S 2012 presentation after the jump!

And then, about three minutes in, the wheels fell off of the entire operation because Kim Kardashian showed up and all hell quietly broke loose. I'm pretty sure everyone forgot there was a presentation taking place... BECAUSE KIM KARDASHIAN WAS THERE! IN THE FLESH! Well... I think she has human flesh. I'm not sure. She was standing RIGHT behind me (get it? BEHIND? Because she's KNOWN FOR HER BUTT!), and I've seen her before at work events, but usually in the dark. This was my first time seeing her in broad daylight. It felt more like an alien spotting than a celebrity spotting. She looks like a buxom fembot. Her eyelashes were about the length of my actual hair, and it's possible that she was sewn into her cinch-waist dress, which looks like it was designed only for standing, not sitting. Barely even for walking. The kind of dress Madonna often wears to remind people she's British now. Oh, and her wedding ring looks heavier than a silver tea service.
The photographers who'd been busy photographing the models and taking a few atmosphere shots completely heel turned, ignoring the collection -- you know, the actual fashion -- to photograph Kim, who may or may not be able to move her face. (Also, she had her hair in a very high bun, and I could see the indentation of her weave in the back. That clue made me lean more toward the "human" than alien side of the Kim Kardashian human v. alien debate.) It wasn't one of those noisy paparazzi swarms -- fashion week is FAR too sophisticated for that, dearies -- but it was more like the softer side of "holy shit." Even the models, trained to pretty much blank-stare out into nothingness, began subtly transmitting rapid eye movements to each other -- morse code for "HOLY SHIT, IT'S FUCKING KIM FUCKING KARDASHIAN!"

I think Kim was with one of her sisters -- the one who always wears pussy bows? -- but IDFK because I really don't keep up with the Kardashians. Too many of them! And I have "more classier" shit to watch, like "Millionaire Matchmaker."
Anyway, Kim Kardashian came, she saw, and it was almost kind of a shame because it seemed like NO ONE paid one second's worth of attention to Rachel Roy collection, which was very mature and worldly. I know that celebs at your show = mad attention (and hey, it's working, because here I am blogging about it), but all I heard on the way out were murmurs like "... was absolutely SQUEEZED into that dress" and "... that much makeup? I'd simply rather die!" (I ACTUALLY HEARD THAT EXACT LINE UTTERED! THAT'S NOT HYPERBOLE OR POETIC LICENSE) instead of, say, how Rachel Roy's black cropped pants are the platonic ideal of flattering pants.

Kim Kardashian and maybe-Kardashian left the Rachel Roy show, did "a walk" outside of Lincoln Center and then disappeared down into the train station at Columbus Circle. JK about that last bit! Kim Kardashian probably has no idea what a train is or what it does!

So, aside from Missoni For Target, that was my fashion week! How was yours?

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