Fashion Binge: Hot! Busty! Swimsuit! Action!

There hasn’t yet been an instrument invented that is able to accurately measure my adoration for these vampy yet classically classy sheath swimsuits from the grande dame of old-tymey bathing beauties, Esther Williams, who was also the star of such risquely titled films like: Skirts Ahoy! Dangerous When Wet, The Unguarded Moment and Raw Wind in Eden.

Sure, some of the patterns are pretty mom-esque, but if you avoid the tankinis like a UTI and stick with the classic sheath in something like a perennial polka dot, you’re golden. I myself might order this one in leopard.

These suits are clearly geared toward the fuller-chested ladies (though perhaps the shaped built-in cups might jack up your business if you weren't blessed with a chest). Therefore, you can imagine how elated I was to return home yesterday to find that this week’s cover of New York Magazine features one of my FAVE big-boobied starlets in such a suit.

Guess Arethra was busy.

Anyway.

At under $100 bucks, I hereby declare these whimsical, well-built suits a REAL SUMMER STEAL!

Grab a pack of dames and some flowery swim caps and go practice those synchronized routines!