Taking a brief hiatus from talking neon satchels, ankle boots, and cats to discuss tampons. Here goes...
The women's locker room at my gym is like a ghost town. It's absolutely deserted. I rarely go up there because it's up four intimidating flights of stairs, which is like its own separate workout, so why bother? But recently I trekked up there because the downstairs bathroom was occupado. Anyway, once I finally got up there, 18 minutes later or whatever, I discovered there was an untouched pirate's bounty haul of sample boxes of free tampons. Being both a normal, blood-letting woman and a savvy shopper, I swiped about 10 boxes. Again, around four people use that locker room per year, therefore obviously no one saw me. These were meant to be given away, so it was a victimless crime. So, score!
Turns out these free tampons were Playtex's Sport Tampons, which are made for "active" women "on the go" or whatever. This explains why there were probably countless marketing meetings to determine that these should be given out free in gyms to "active" ladies. And I'm pretty active, right? I'm actively staring at the clock while half-assedly working out! I'm always actively looking for photos of Ryan Gosling online! I'm VERY active when it comes to taking photos of my cat. I'm MASTERFULLY active when it comes to wasting time. This MUST be the tampon for me, you guys. Except, as the name suggests, these are tampons for sporty women. And I know this because not only do they say "SPORT" on the box, but... you guys... These tampons have athletic-tending phrases printed ON THE WRAPPERS OF THE TAMPON. Such as...
