($854, Giuseppe Zanotti, Zappos Couture)Christ in a cupboard. Aren't these just the perfect portrait of subtle serenity? Like a swan on a placid fucking lake.
Even the description of this shitstorm of a shoe is a runway train of excess: "Iridescent metallic leather upper with a patent lip detail on the heel quarter and a croc print patent strap on the vamp."
Also, there's a jeweled buckle. If you hadn't noticed.
Less horrible but also questionable:
($132 USD, Office.co.uk)
Eeeesh. Of course, after that Giuseppe Zanotti farrago, anything looks decent.
Or, instead of buying this obscenely overreaching, potentially crippingly AND tacky wooden wedge heel, you could save your money and just split a log in half, hollow it out, and stick your foot inside. Voilà! Free shoes!