You Really Really Need Hologram Shoes

Hey gurl. Your feet are boring. Fix 'em. Hologram shoes. It's real. It's levels to this shit. To paraphrase Adam Duritz, "When I look down at my holographic shoes, I want to see me staring right back at me." Wait. Maybe it's actually "When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me," but potato/ potahto. Fact remains: hologram shoes, some black tights and a black mini and chunky sweater or denim jacket over a vintage t-shirt hold SO much appeal to me this fall.

$218, Miista, Nastygal.com

Because I'm telling myself sandals are okay for fall. This is my idea of growing more accepting as I get older.

$59, Urban Outfitters

Brogue lyf, son.

$180, To Be Announced, Urban Outfitters

Inky, oily everything, please.

$98, vintage Stuart Weitzman, FeelingVaguelyVintage.etsy.com

These holographic snake print Stuart Weitzman chunky sneakers ACTUALLY HAPPENED! They happened in the '90s, and there's nothing you can do short of inventing and piloting a time machine to change it. Just accept it and consider maybe even embracing and then buying it. It's a process. It's levels to this shit. 

Finally, the last thing I'll say about hologram shoes is that I would TRULY be eternally grateful if one of you talented, budding young shoemakers (shoesmiths?) out there would design a holographic shoe WITH A JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS PRINT. Apparently someone on Etsy attempted a decoupage footwear tribute to Jem, but I need me some legit meta Jem and the Holograms hologram shoes. It's almost 2014! ios 7 exists! We can DO this!