You Really Really Need Hologram Shoes

Hey gurl. Your feet are boring. Fix 'em. Hologram shoes. It's real. It's levels to this shit. To paraphrase Adam Duritz, "When I look down at my holographic shoes, I want to see me staring right back at me." Wait. Maybe it's actually "When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me," but potato/ potahto. Fact remains: hologram shoes, some black tights and a black mini and chunky sweater or denim jacket over a vintage t-shirt hold SO much appeal to me this fall.

$218, Miista, Nastygal.com

Because I'm telling myself sandals are okay for fall. This is my idea of growing more accepting as I get older.

$59, Urban Outfitters

Brogue lyf, son.

$180, To Be Announced, Urban Outfitters

Inky, oily everything, please.

$98, vintage Stuart Weitzman, FeelingVaguelyVintage.etsy.com

These holographic snake print Stuart Weitzman chunky sneakers ACTUALLY HAPPENED! They happened in the '90s, and there's nothing you can do short of inventing and piloting a time machine to change it. Just accept it and consider maybe even embracing and then buying it. It's a process. It's levels to this shit. 

Finally, the last thing I'll say about hologram shoes is that I would TRULY be eternally grateful if one of you talented, budding young shoemakers (shoesmiths?) out there would design a holographic shoe WITH A JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS PRINT. Apparently someone on Etsy attempted a decoupage footwear tribute to Jem, but I need me some legit meta Jem and the Holograms hologram shoes. It's almost 2014! ios 7 exists! We can DO this!

Yes Yes Yes To This Amy Winehouse Sweatshirt On Etsy

$39, DaunLondon.Etsy.com

I don't really need a sweatshirt with Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" written in cursive in her beehive, but it's becoming increasingly hard for me to argue that I don't need it.

Related, please to enjoy my FAVORITE Amy Winehouse song, "Valerie." That beat always takes to my happy place, or maybe it's thinking about Mark Ronson that takes me to my happy place. That guy could GET. IT. Anyway, 'ta!

You're Lookin' At The New Owner Of A Faux Leopard Print Minnie Mouse Coat

Now how one becomes the owner of a vintage faux leopard print coat with Minnie Mouses scattered happily across is no accident. No accident at all. It's fate.

Thursday morning I was waiting for the train here in Brooklyn. Then, like a freaking ORACLE, this woman walks by wearing this faux fur coat with MINNIE MOUSES printed all over it. I noticed the coat first, and I expected her to be a batshit baglady, but she was totally pulled together and looked RAD. She was probably late-40s, early 50s, and looked like the SHIT. Anyway, I was like, what is that? Jeremy Scott? Jean-Charles de Castelbajac or something? Asish? I paused my game of Word Mole (at which I RULE, by the way), and I snapped a photo of her. Idiotically, the flash and shutter sound effect were both on. Nice one, Tams. Anyway, she didn't notice, but some people around her did. I wheeled around and walked very quickly, in a way that surely called attention to myself and my failure to be covert in any way, and I headed toward the front of the train. (And finished my Word Mole game. And I thought. I thought about that coat).

Anyway, I Googled "animal print Mickey Mouse coat" later that day, and GUYS I'M NOT KIDDING! IT CAME UP ON ETSY!!!!! Not the exact same coat, but almost. It was reserved for someone, but it looked like that someone slept on it because it'd been on hold for almost a month. I emailed the owners, Tarantula Sisters (who have some amazing vintage, btw), who confirmed that the original reserver was no longer interested (SUCKER!), and they sold it to me for $100 (someone on this Ebay message board paid $500 for one back in the day). SAME. FREAKING. DAY, guys!


Anyway, will I look like a wackadoo bag lady in it? Probably. Or a '70s pimp from a Blacksploitation flim? Or worse -- someone from Williamsburg? I'm sure. But I DON'T CARE! This jacket was MEANT to be mine. This must be how those dudes on "Pawn Stars" feel when they open a cardboard box marked that says, like Brawny paper towels on the outside, and it's filled with some total treasure on the inside. And should I happen to see that woman from the train who led me to my own treasure I'll nod in thanks... and pretend not to notice if someone takes a camera phone photo of me from behind.

Thief & Bandit Makes My Very Favorite T-Shirt

($40, Thief & Bandit, Etsy)

My little sister lives in Richmond, Virginia, and she has tons of friends who are making cool things that I always want to buy. Often I'm super lucky and she buys them for me! Such as my very favorite t-shirt made by her friend Amie Cunningham who created Thief & Bandit -- it's all handmade, and it's all fun, craftsy shirts with fun, tribal-inspired squiggles and designs, and fabric accessories in bright colors. JUST LOOK at that t-shirt and TELL me it doesn't remind you of all things Tom Tom Club!

($48, Thief & Bandit, Etsy)

I hope you like this fabric necklace, but I hope you don't like it as much as I do, because I really want it. So I can wear it with a white t and a blazer. Or maybe even a busy t-shirt, because busy is the new black.

Check out Thief & Bandit's site, their blog, and Thief & Bandit on Etsy and get to buying cute stuff!!

Tom Tom Club - New Music - More Music Videos

It's Time For... CAT FASHIONS!

In honor of my cat Sim's untimely demise, here are a bunch of cheery cat clothes and accessories. Yes, I'm a cat person. DEAL WITH IT. I used to try to air on the side of discretion when shopping for or styling myself with cat-related fashion, so as not to look overly young. But at this point, I'm like fuck it.

($78, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos.com)


($35, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos.com)

Love Marc By Marc Jacobs' Fantastical Tale cat rings in brass and black resin. See? Marc Jacobs gets it!

($76, Your Eyes Lie, Topshop)

British upstart Your Eyes Lie makes excellent, photorealistic digital prints -- like this giant cat print dress -- on the softest jersey dresses. They look fantastic with leggings, run large (yay!), and are super layerable.

($13, Asos.com)

Two baby kitties in a heart ring! Ee!

MAC's Fabulous Felines collection is obviously my favorite collection of all time. When I found out they were doing a cat collection, I almost fell out of my chair. Why I wasn't asked to be a consultant on the collection I will never know, but I'll let it slide. This time.

My favorite of the Fabulous Felines are the Leopard Luxe eyeshadow quad. LOOK at that gold! And that muted orange! So autumnal chic.

($36, MACcosmetics.com)


($14.50, MACcosmetics.com)

Love MAC's Cunning very berry lipstick. It's sold out online, so check your local MAC store.

($25, Paul & Joe Beaute, Beautyhabit.com)

It's CAT LIPSTICK! LIPSTICK IN THE SHAPE OF A CAT! I wrote about it for Naag.

($40, Joseph Aaron Segel, Prettysnake.etsy.com)

Designer and RISD professor Joseph Aaron Segel sources vintage sweater and prints cats and sews hilarious, huge stuffed animals eyes onto them! And check out his Pretty Snake acid cat screenprinted t-shirts!

($38, Joyrich, Karmaloop.com)

LOVE Joyrich because they always have comfie, casual, cheeky streetwear. Love Karmaloop because they ALWAYS have promo codes.

Gold-Dipped Crystal? Um, Why Yes. I Think I Will

WHY has this not crossed my mind before: gold-dipped quartz?

($150, LauraLombardiJewelry.etsy.com)

My style pendulum keeps swinging back and forth between loving gold and not caring about gold. Right now it's very much entrenched in the "YAY GOLD" side of my fickle desires. Same with crystal. So this necklace, by the HIGHLY talented Laura Lombardi, PERFECTLY satisfies my love of mixed materials and chunky shapes and textures. I'd probably swap out the vintage brass chain for a silver one to add a little more intrigue.

BTW, speaking of "cross my mind," can we get in the wayback machine and listen to this TIMELESS Brian McKnight song? So sad, but SO good.

Brian McKnight - New Music - More Music Videos

Ombré Trenchcoat Rides Again!

Well, hello there! Let's talk about trenchcoats. Loyal readers may recall I have a thing for ombré trenchcoats, yet have never actually purchased one. First there was the $200 Anthropologie one dip-dyed orange. Then there was the green-accented Calvin Klein one. Neither of which I purchased. Will I purchase this one, or add it to the list of coulda-beens?





Gradient purple trench coat, $69, made by a tailor in Shanghai. Love those ruffles in the back! This designer has gone and made the annoying trenchcoat flap cute! It's so unique, I might finally pull the trigger....

Thoughts?

Someone SERIOUSLY Needs To Get These

I've been spending the past three or so hours looking for shoes for my wedding dress (gksafk;ssk;lfsdl!;jsa;dk;l). Four pairs later, hopefully one of those will be a winner. But on an unrelated note, I found these on Etsy, and SOMEONE out there needs to get them PRONTO!

($85, Vintage Donald Pliner, Etsy.com)

... RIGHT?

(Stuart Weitzman, Zappos.com)

And here are the shoes I hope work with my fucking dress.

REGRETSY! Finally, A Site For Etsy's Most Regrettable Submissions

For YEARS I've marveled at some of the most absolutely SHITEOUS and absolutely baffling submissions on Etsy that make ABSOLUTELY no sense and appear to fill no niche or need.

FINALLY, someone brilliant and ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL has answered that call and fulfilled the need. Please, check out Regretsy. I haven't laughed that hard since Rose, Blanche, Dorothy and Sophia showed up naked to dinner at the nudists colony.

Even Regretsy's tagline had me LOLing so hard I was gasping for air: "Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet."

Special attention must be paid to the Michael Jackson baseball -- "I would have thought a great gift to keep Michael alive might have been a defibrillator. But I’m not a doctor. Other than that, this makes perfect sense. Because whenever I hear “Michael Jackson”, I immediately think “baseball”. Well technically, I think “Little League”, but you know what I’m saying."

+ Sarah Palin Christmas tree ornament -- "Look out, Santa, our Christmas tree is going rogue this year! What better way to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus than with an ornament commemorating America’s wolf-hunting sweetheart? Will giving your loved ones this ornament keep you away from the death panels? You betcha!"

+ Seashell Cowrie Shell Seahorse -- "This is the best use of shells and library paste since I had the linguine at the Olive Garden."

+ And, of course, the Vulva Portrait Pendant Charms -- "If I’m going to spend that much time online talking to a stranger about my pussy, I better be playing with myself."

To-Die-For Vintage Wedding Dress On Etsy!

($300, VonlenskaVintage.Etsy.com)

Granted, you'd definitely be flipping the script a little, but if you're looking for a super non-traditional vintage wedding dress, then seriously? Yes. This cream-colored, beaded drop-waist dress has more potential than Lindsay Lohan circa late 2004 -- like, right after she did Mean Girls but before she slid down the coke ladder and into the anorexic abyss.

I love how it's sorta '30s-meets-'80s but not overly either, which makes it still sort of modern without screaming "I THRIFTED THIS AND THEN WORE IT TO MY WEDDING!" Because there's a time and a place for yelling about thrifted stuff, but maybe your wedding isn't it.

Anyway, this could also be a lovely end-of-night dress, if you're so inclined. I'm not, but if you are, then go for it.

Cute 'n' Comfy "Thong"

How perfect is this trompe l'oeil "lingerie" for the cotton-loving soul?





Naughty Knickers, $50 for a set of three, from Etsy seller PaisleyPickle. You can order a custom set, too.



Thanks to 100 Layer Cake for the heads up.

Never Mind 'Gossip Girl'... Here Come THE GOLDEN GIRLS!

Step aside, golden-haired Serena and bitchy Blair. Before there were Gossip Girls, there were the original Gs: "The Golden Girls," who kept it super real with bamboo furniture and mumus. And they had dude issues and boy-girl sleepovers well into their golden years. Whether they were getting robbed at a Madonna concert, getting hit on by super skeezy dudes, sleeping in hotel lobbies, buying condoms, battling hurricanes, going to nudist colonies, meeting Julio Iglesias, or dealing with hard-hitting issues of the day (like when Blanche accepted her gay brother, or when Rose had an AIDS scare on a VERY SPECIAL "Golden Girls"), Rose, Blanche, Dorothy, and Sophia/ "Mahhh!" had the ultimate girl bond, even if they were just chillin' over coffee on a floral tablecloth-covered kitchen table, or admonishing their token promiscuous friend -- picture it!

Which is why I'm loving this acrylic Golden Girls tribute necklace by Etsy seller TrashedClothing:

($20, TrashedClothing, Etsy)

Thank you, TrashedClothing, for being a friend. And for making a Saved by the Bell version too! Goooooooo B-B-B-Bayside!

+ More Golden Girls-inspired fashions from Refinery29.
+ Very Golden Girls Zimmermann bathing suit!

Vintage Binge: Etsy Seller lecondevetement

Etsy seller lecondevetement has some amazing vintage finds.

Two I'm hot 2 trot 4:

($70, lecondevetement.etsy.com)

I mean, LQQK at those gold closures!!!!

($45, lecondevetement.etsy.com)

Too bad these vintage brocade pumps are super wee -- US 5 or 6, because they're super beauts.

Now, lecondevetement, moar posts, pls!

drikaB Birdy Tote + Pouch!

Truly, I need another bag like Don Draper needs another random casual encounter, but I've been staring at this one like a pedo on a playground. It's handmade by Etsy artist drikaB, and I LOVE the contrast of the rustic jute handle and Marimekko-inspired boldy bright fabric. AND it comes with a little pouch! TEE!


The whole lot (lady not included) is just $87 at Delight.com, or $67.50 for the tote, $24.50 for the pochette. Super deeeeeelightful!

** UPDATE! BOUGHT! Used promo code Decor8Delight08 = 20% off! **

** UPDATE! TO THE UPDATE!: Just received the tote, and ZOMG it's even better IRL! RUN, DON'T WALK!

Warm Up! Grey-Day Accessories! Plus: Fred Flare's New Store!

The weather went from pleasant to fucking February in like a week. Here are some warmy woolies and stuff in lovely neutral greys to stay warm in, kay?

($14, Lulu's)

Berets aren't usually my thing, but this one does a nice job of straddling that dangerous line between "oui oui hee hee!" and hackeysacking.

($20, Fred Flare)

The sweet pom pom makes me wanna do snow angels, and the wooden button keeps this grey-day hat from a.) flying off yo damn head and b.) being too cutesy-cute. ALSO, you can save save save on shipping with promo code "STORE CUTE." Why? Because FRED FLARE is opening their first-ever brick-and-mortar! FINALLY! Also, I wrote a lil story about it for Metromix New York! Read, believe, ACHIEVE! It's an interview with Chris and Keith (the brains behind Fred Flare), and two sweeter souls don't exist in this world, with the exception of my boyfriend and my cat. Wait... not my cat. He's a total jerkface. Anyway, you MUST go check out the store in Greenpoint and go spend your bucks on Jonas Brothers wayfarers and bags like this... oooh or this We Are the Superlative Conspiracy bag... or this bustier dress in black or red...

($22.50, Alloy)

Yeah, so I really love this grey scarf too.

($21.50, Victorianbird, Etsy)

Stripy fleecy sweatshirty scarf! Sing huzzah!

($9.99, Target)

I like how these heart gloves are like stop-light inspired. JUST THINK of how much funner driving would be if the lights were HEARTS instead of just circular-lights. Of course, then we'd probably just get sick of them and never notice. Ahhhh ennui.

($12, Lulu's)

Perfect winter socks for boots or bummin' around the house. I like to put on some super warmo socks WITH my slippers, for extra-warm crumb bum effect!

OH YEAH: coming soon -- a big-ass scarf post by a special guest poster!! Until then, control your parameters. 'Kay nighty nite!

Live Blogging From The Office: My Co-Worker's Amazorz Vintage Nicole Miller Heels

One of my VERY fave people here at work is Hilary, who I like to refer to Hilzorz or The Hilz. Today she rolled in these amazing vintage Nicole Miller silk rainbow heels that she rescued from Beacon's Closet in Williamsburg for $40:

SCORE!

And then just LOOK at how cute and unexpectedly modest the whole thing is with her prepster look -- total 9-5 (or 10:30 - 8:30 'round these parts) on top, secret raging party girl on the bottom! Not that The Hilz is. But the look totally suggests it. Wee!

Anyway, if you, like I, want 'em, you're SOL, unless you know Hilary and you can convince her to sell them to you. Otherwise, check out eBay's limited selection of vintage Nicole Miller heels, or hit up your local thrift store.

PS: My co-worker Sarah would like everyone to know that SHE picked them out and gave them to Hilary only because they weren't her size. And now you know.

Also, here's me and The Hilz LOLzin' in our spare time.
Yes, those are unicorn earrings, and they're from Etsy seller I'm Your Present. Just $10!