Stuart Weitzman's Uprise Leopard Print Loafer Pump, You Guys

$475, Stuart Weitzman

The realness that Stuart Weitzman is serving with his Uprise leopard print loafer pump is undeniable. Nobody does feminine menswear-inspired footwear like Stuart Weitzman. And don't even get me started on that metallic inner heel, because we will be here all day. (If I were more politically active, I'd try to get a law on the books mandating that ALL inner heels be metallic, but that's another story for another time.) And that's really all you need to know about footwear for fall 2012. Game over.

Outfit Post/ GPOY/WIWT IN BATIK SEAHORSE PANTS!

Listen, bitches! This is AMERICA, and if a grown-ass woman (me) wants to wear high-waisted seahorse batik pants (thanks, LL Bean Signature!) at 8:58 am on Court Street, then THAT'S WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO. This is NOT a game, y'all. Oh, and SERIOUS hat tip to Sara at Soon Beauty Lab in Brooklyn -- expert blow-out skills, and she's a total doll.

+ Top: Forever 21 (Or... Forever 33, as I like to call it.)
+ Pants: c/o LL Bean Signature (on SALE!)
+ Shoes: Stuart Weitzman Manheim, also ON SALE!
+ Bag: See By Chloe at Nordstrom Rack (FUCK YES!)
+ Iced Coffee: Bodega, $1.75

Stuart Weitzman Does Platform Oxfords, Needle Heels For Fall/ Winter 2012

Stuart Weitzman is genetically incapable of disappointing me, but the man truly truly outdid himself with his Fall/ Winter 2012 collection. Here's what I fell in love with at the preview, and I'll save the best for first:

LOOK at this purple-to-teal gradiating iridescent, crystal-heeled carpet stunner. It's the human-sized manifestation of every Barbie shoe I ever wished were real.

Needle heel. NEEDLE, people. Lethal.

I know it's technically a platform wedge Chukka, but I'd like to think this brilliant Stuart Weitzman creation is a creeper on 'roids.

Espadrilles And Raffia Need To Be EVERYWHERE This Spring

I hereby declare that every shoe this spring needs to be a espadrille -- or some variation or bastardization thereof -- or prominently feature raffia.

Loeffler Randall's Nadia raffia bootie: A shoe for all seasons!

Stuart Weitzman's Manheim platform Oxfords with a RUBBER SOLE! I see no absolutely reason why not.

Joanna Stoker's Deco raffia heel is like a Mondrian for your foot. Well worth the $1129 price tag, because that's WAY less than a Mondrian. Duh.

+ Related: Loeffler Randall Spring/ Summer 2012 preview and Stuart Weitzman Spring 2012 preview!

+ My-Wardrobe.com Wedges 

(Disclaimer: this post contains a sponsored link.)

Stuart Weitzman Spring 2012 Preview

I stopped by the Stuart Weitzman spring 2012 preview last week, and, true to the core of most Stuart Weitzman collections, the walls were lined with trendy but never gauche designs; daring heights, and Louboutin/ Jimmy Choo-style stilettos at, well, Stuart Weitzman prices. Aspirational but still basically attainable. (I say that realizing that most of us, certainly myself included, are firmly entrenched within "the 99%.")

But... back to the pretty things. My favorites of the Stuart Weitzman spring 2012 line-up was the super-duper Deco patent part of the collection. If you can think of a more satisfying effect than a cool, after-dinner mint color paired with a metallic, by all means, the comments are open.

Lucite stiletto and plastic t-strap? Yes. Always.

Until spring, shop Stuart Weitzman at Saks or Nordstrom.

Stuart Weitzman Goes Alaia For Fall 2010

Well, not really, but pretty much.

($675, Stuart Weitzman)

Stuart Weitzman's Fall 2010 black leather over-the-knee combat boots are practically stamped with Alaia. Right, Naomi?

(Via Pop Magazine)

... But watch out, or she'll throw something in your eye.

Someone SERIOUSLY Needs To Get These

I've been spending the past three or so hours looking for shoes for my wedding dress (gksafk;ssk;lfsdl!;jsa;dk;l). Four pairs later, hopefully one of those will be a winner. But on an unrelated note, I found these on Etsy, and SOMEONE out there needs to get them PRONTO!

($85, Vintage Donald Pliner, Etsy.com)

... RIGHT?

(Stuart Weitzman, Zappos.com)

And here are the shoes I hope work with my fucking dress.

Stuart Weitzman Bulletin Heels: I Surrender!

($156, Stuart Weitzman, Zappos.com)

While spending HOURS (sadly that's not even an exaggeration) looking for those elusive Stuart Weitzman Trianon heels, I came across these Stuart Weitzman Bulletin heels. Not for a wedding, obvs (at least, not for mine... though if you wore these for your wedding, you'd fully have my utmost respect), but for real-deal straight-up everyday bawsin'. It's kind of like a pair of purple suede heels came down with metallic robo-acne. And I'm fine with that. Plus, you could just stick a Post-It to the side of your shoe to remember stuff and if someone asked you WTF is up, just be like "So? Lady Gaga's doin' it, so I am too."

A PLAGUE ON YOUR HOUSE, STUART WEITZMAN!

($360, Stuart Weitzman, Zappos)

Not only are these Stuart Weitzman Trianon a fashion MIRACLE -- I mean LOOK at that Deco heel. Could you DIE and come back to LIFE? -- but they'd match my Jenny Packham wedding dress (bought it, btw, at Mark Ingram. Totally painless, and they were wonderful!) PERFECTLY. It's like Jenny Packham and Stuart Weitzman collaborated and MADE my dress to GO with these flipping GORGEOUS heels. Like to borrow a line from Beauty Blogging Junkie's Amber, I'm breathing into a bag over these. HOWEVER, I'm out for BLOOD because they're only available in a 9.5. I breathlessly emailed Zappos who were all like "oh, you're a total doll, lovey, but you're SHIT OUT OF FUCKING LUCK BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY MORE IN." (They didn't swear, but still.) SO NOW WHAT?

Look, I realize that if I DON'T get these, it's not the end of the world. I know I've lived a Very Good Life and that I'm really truly fucking blessed just to have functioning body systems and arms and legs and hands and feet, but speaking of feet, I WOULD STEAL THESE OFF OF SOMEONE'S ACTUAL FEET -- RIP THEM OFF THEIR ANKLES (if they were a size 8). LIKE, WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? WHO DO I NEED TO SLEEP WITH TO GET THESE IN A SIZE 8? Because I'll do it, and I'll sleep with them (quickly, drunkenly, and then deny that it ever hapened). I'm effing serious here.

Anyone know anyone in Stuart Weitzman PR? Anyone know Stuart Weitzman? I REFUSE to believe that there isn't a size 8 sitting in a warehouse somewhere. And I... I'm gonna go Nancy Drew on Stuart Weitzman ass and I'ma FIND 'EM!

YEAH, BISHES!

Two Great (Bridal) Shoes, Two Very Different Prices

Recently I thought I found the absolute purrrrfect wedding shoe: The Stuart Weitzman "Oboe."



Wedge so you don't sink in the grass, extremely cute bow, dyeable to any color your heart or shoe man can dream up...just utterly best. Except for the price tag: $360. That could pay for, say, a second reception dress! Sadly, the Oboe was not a play I could make.

Turns out I'm gonna be sinking in the grass (hopefully not too much), because I did just go ahead and buy those oft-discussed Melissa Anglomania shoes with the red hearts (from Epaulet, of course). But if I was getting married inside? I'd totally go for these:




Nina Electra pump in ivory, $80. Again: $80. Someone, please, get married in these!

Then go on your island honeymoon and wear these wherever you go:



Steven "Bianna" sandal, $120. (Or purchase the identical knockoff at Alloy, as I will. Thanks to Cheap Chicas for the tip!)

In other shoe news, I think I'll get these huaraches for the summer:



Jeffrey Campbell "Gloria Tie" sandals, $84.