Toy Syndrome's Beetle Beanie Is So Cute It's Almost Creepy.

$25, Toy Syndrome. Use promo code "buggin" or "friend1" on Etsy, which is what I did.

And the hat tip literally goes to the inimitable, impossibly short, unstoppably stylish Sara Zucker for dusting the cobwebs (topical insect reference, btw) off of my unawares, accessory-deprived brain and letting the light of this insect-infested beanie in. 

It's by Toy Syndrome, aka Natalya Nyn, who, like me shares an affinity for teeny toys and bubblegum machine figurines... And who, unlike me, sewed a bunch of lizards onto a half shirt that caught Lena Dunham's eye, and the rest is archival "Girls" history.

Cats In Sombreros

Turns out there are a LOT of photos of cats in sombreros on the Internet. Please don't ask me how I made this discovery. Did people question how Edison created the lightbulb? No. They were just fucking happy they didn't need candles to read the dark anymore.

Puma's Going MONOCHROME, Man. MONOCHROME

I was just having a regular day today until... I received a mass email from Puma and shit got real. They just released their new Monochrome line, and it's kind of major (although I wished someone called me to ask which colors I'd prefer but... the yellow will do). It's seriously all monochrome everything, and clearly I need to own everything from every colorway.

Monochrome Hat, $30

A Tale of Three Hats

There's nothing like outfitting yourself for outdoorsy adventures to make you feel like a stupid fashion twat. I have tried in vain (literally) to find cute stuff that is also functionalfor my upcoming Yosemite hiking adventure. In talking with my hiking-expert friend Leanne, I learned that "a hat is a must." And so: A search for a hat was born!

I began last Friday, randomly, when I had some time to kill on Smith Street. One of my favorite stores is Exit 9, a gifty-novelty store that also carries Tano bags and some other accessories. They have cute mittens in the winter, and paper party cups with noses on them so when you drink, you can look like you have a hairy old-man schnoz. Lots of fun stuff, see? They also have cool hats. I bought one, since it had a brim and would keep the sun off my face.


San Diego Hat Co. "Lacie" linen buckle hat, $35. I brought it home to my husband, Carl, who replied, "That's not a hiking hat. That is a fashion hat." I considered. Perhaps. Could return, but lost receipt. Argh. Well, I like it. My only concern is that it has kind of an urban-dancer vibe about it? Like maybe Janet Jackson circa Rhythm Nation would approve?

The following day I hit the Brooklyn Flea. It was hot out. Like what-am-I-doing-here-on-this-blacktop hot. And so, when I found the Lento hat rack, I was a sitting duck. I was intrigued by this one hat with a really exaggerated brim that the seller said was supposed to be worn to the back, but that cool Brooklynites have been wearing in the front. It was kind of amazing.


Lento "Maxi" hat, $30. Hand-made, hand-dyed, organic, all that good stuff. And reversible! It seemed like this was definitely "fashion," though, so I went with the more reasonable (and still sun-protectively functional) regular version:


Lento "Medium" hat, $25. (It was $20 at the Flea, in case any locals want to pick one up). I got it in purple. Or gray. Reversible rules! However, as I walked to my next appointment at the beer garden, a slight breeze kept threatening to lift the fucker right off my head. Not cool. Not functional. FASHION. Shit.

So today I finally went to return the hiking boots that I bought at EMS and then found cheaper online, and I noticed their hat section. SCORE!


I found a perfectly cute-enough gray hat, the EMS Chelan II with a UPF (that's SPF for clothes, I think) of 30 and wicking capability. Take that, head sweat! It was $16.80. Done and (PHEW) done!

Now let's hope I can find occasion to wear the other two hats, too....

Exciting Fashion Challenge: Hats!

So, in exciting non-recessionary news, my husband just got a freelance job doing graphic design for a polo event on Governor's Island, which means an opportunity to a) look at fancy people dressed up fancy, and b) dress up faux-fancy myself (it's free to the public unless you want to pay for a VIP picnic ticket). The "polo style tips" page emphasizes "hat first; outfit second" and advises a large brim and some sort of flair that "amuses" (yay!). And so, here is a short list of hats I am considering for either buying or inspiration: I may just MacGyver my existing H&M floppy straw hat with some fun gussying-up materials. Any hat I buy has to be extremely cheap, of course, because that's how I roll, i.e. not in hats, unless it's a costuming situation. Which I consider a polo match to be, or, really, any event involving horses. And so, perhaps:


So here's your basic fedora with a cute colored ribbon: French Connection Shamble Hat, $39.99. Of course, this is easily customizable if you DIY it. Colored ribbon plus cheap hat = done.



Sundried hat from Anthropologie, $128. This is one hundred percent DIY-able; just get some raffia and start tying. The only question is where does it fall on the cuteness scale?



You could probably just go to the dollar store and wild out, too, as demonstrated by this Juicy Couture "Pompom Tassels" hat, $88.



Pansy field fedora from Anthropologie, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT DOLLARS. Seriously. Again, dollar-store doable. And cute!




A white hat would also be cute for summer. Here's a really basic white straw fedora from Tilly's, $12.99. Ribbon and done.



Or...handy with a grommet gun? Try to re-create this seriously cute Eugenia Kim grommeted fedora, $297.



Or add some sparkle with a sequined scarf, like Eugenia Kim did with this "Craig" sequined straw fedora, $315. I don't have to say that you could DIY this, right? Cough cough.

If you don't feel like doing any work and just want to spend a few bucks on a hat, here are some nice inexpensive options:



Forever 21 two-tone fedora, $8.80. (I'd probably still switch out the ribbon though...maybe?)


Aeropostale plaid-print fedora, $7. So sweetly preppy! I might just get this just because. It's seven bucks!



Torrid silver straw fedora, $18. Bling it out!



Tarnish floral overlay fedora, $38. Actually classy. I could totally see my friend Michelle T. rocking this.



Eugenia Kim for Target fedora, $16.99.

Now for the ridiculous:


ASOS bunny-ears fascinator, $33.82. This exists.

Finally, I am all for Betsy's tiny hat idea, which she executed wonderfully. I'd even go so far as to suggest pinning this item to your head if you really hate hats:


Blue and white straw hat, $2.50. (OMG.)

I would not, however, recommend bringing your, um, rat to this event, as the seller notes: "Never leave your rat unattended while dressed. While they can slip out of the outfit if needed, harm could still come to them if you are not there to watch them. Please note that it sometimes takes a few tries before some rats will keep their clothing on." Ain't that the truth!

I'll leave you with this fun fact: Carl will be taking direction at times from a star polo player named Nacho who also models for Polo. His assistant is also named Nacho and will also be contacting Carl. This is not going to lead to any hilarity at all!

Get the Look: Mrs. Claus

Today I injected a little bit of Santacon into my outfit, enough that my boyfriend was amused enough to grab his camera and record it for posterity. I came into work and have gotten "very festive," "very Christmas-y," and my favorite: "very...Mrs. Claus." So, if YOU would like to take holiday dressing to a borderline-literal level, I recommend pointing your sleigh at the aforementioned Urban Outfitters, where I purchased the piece de resistance of this formidable outfit:



Silence + Noise embroidered buffalo plaid dress, was $68, now $39.99 online, BUT I only paid $19.99 in the store. I went in for holiday cards, I came out with a dress. Btw, no Mrs. Claus is that insanely buff.



Pair it with these Frye "Andrea" belted boots, marked down to $329.99, OR find your own vintage Dexter boots in a giant thrift store in Portland, Oregon, like I did. I mean, you're a CLAUS -- you can travel, and quickly.



Then get these socks from any Target (just not the online one). Arrange them so the fur cuff just peeks out above your boots. Bam! Instant (yet subtle?) Santa boots.



If you want to really push it, get one of those infernal berets that can be slouching atop the heads of every girl south of the north pole these days. This one is the most ridiculous of all, so that's what I'm showing. Urban Outfitters "popcorn" beret, $34.

And away you go!

Top Hats at Topshop?

Tyson Beckford in a tutu! Harlequin-style top hats at Topshop? I don't care if Topshop's selling them or Fred Astaire himself rises from the grave to force these upon you. They're just wrong. They remind me of the awful costumes I had to wear in crappy dance recitals growing up in Ohio in the early '80s. My poor parents had to spend so much money on that garbage, and my mom would spend HOURS shoving like a billion bobbypins into my head to get those dumb headpieces to stay on.

I couldn't find the one absolutely moneyshot -- me in a modified showgirl outfit, red satin, a silver sequin heart across the chest, red creonline skirt (natch), and a terrible red heart coming up and out of my head like a muted thought bubble of love. Ugh. Worst. Poor moms.

Anyway, I DID find this photo of me (right) and my sister (on the left), and I think you get the idea. And no, it wasn't taken in like, 1935. It was just scanned in in B&W.

Anyway, point is, dance costumey top hats = no. Still, I <3 Topshop, so I guess I'll allow this one mistake.