Osborne's Cork Oxfords Are Making Me A Better Person

OMFG, dudes. Getting older officially SUCKS. I've been MIA from FashionBinge for a week because I for REAL haven't been able to SIT because I threw my back out, as so electrifyingly demonstrated by the stock image on the right. I can't even believe I'm old enough to be able to "throw my back out." I'll be checking the mail for my AARP, and I'll probably start eating dinner at 4:30pm. 

Anyway, my PT (who's GREAT, by the way, and if you're in the New York Area and need someone, I can't recommend Manhattan Physical Therapy and Pain Center strongly enough) suggested I not wear heels. I told him I'm too vain for sneakers, but I'm gonna try to get by in flats for a while. It's a curse because I'm 5'1" and need all of the height I can get, but a blessing because HOW CUTE are these cork flats by Osborn:

$160, Osborn, BonaDrag.com

Again, CUTE OXFORDS made of CORK! For SPRING AND SUMMER! Which means they'll match EVERY FUCKING THING I OWN, included but not limited to neon stuff (of which I own a lot). Also, hi, 20% off Bona Drag through April 15, so ride that. I'll be over here in the corner with the ice pack, hashtag frowny face.

$98, J. Crew

PS -- While a cork clutch AND cork Oxfords are WAY too matchy-wack, just know that J. Crew's cork clutch exists. Cork. It's what's for dinner.