Kelly Wearstler's Fall/Winter 2013 Collection Is Even Better Than I'd Dreamed, Which Is Saying A Lot

Kelly Wearstler's F/W '13 leather knit sweater. It's in my head so much that it's giving me OCD.

You know Kelly Wearstler, right? The woman who'd be your personal stylist/ life coach/ closet guru/ spirit animal if you could afford to live your best life? The superlatively L.A. designer's dressed Gwen Stefani (THAT PINK LEATHER JACKET, HOMG!), turned out the Viceroy in Palm Springs in her signature post-modern Hollywood Regency-on-a-safari-holiday style (because she runs that game), and she has excellent hair. And she has an excellent collection of Fall/Winter 2013 separates and accessories, all supremely textured -- primal leathers, rough and tough moto jackets, heavy metal jewelry, brass in pocket -- in geometric prints, and Vivienne Westwood, punk-leaning patterns and visceral, mixed-material mash-ups that totally shouldn't make sense together but somehow totally do. I want to live in her showroom, I want to live in her closet, I want to live in her clothes. See why in these photos from my recent trip to her Chelsea showroom to check out the collection. (No I didn't steal anything. Aren't you proud?)

Yes, that is a brass plate on a leather clutch, in case you needed reminding.

+ Check out more Kelly Wearstler jewelry after the jump.

Osborne's Cork Oxfords Are Making Me A Better Person

OMFG, dudes. Getting older officially SUCKS. I've been MIA from FashionBinge for a week because I for REAL haven't been able to SIT because I threw my back out, as so electrifyingly demonstrated by the stock image on the right. I can't even believe I'm old enough to be able to "throw my back out." I'll be checking the mail for my AARP, and I'll probably start eating dinner at 4:30pm. 

Anyway, my PT (who's GREAT, by the way, and if you're in the New York Area and need someone, I can't recommend Manhattan Physical Therapy and Pain Center strongly enough) suggested I not wear heels. I told him I'm too vain for sneakers, but I'm gonna try to get by in flats for a while. It's a curse because I'm 5'1" and need all of the height I can get, but a blessing because HOW CUTE are these cork flats by Osborn:

$160, Osborn, BonaDrag.com

Again, CUTE OXFORDS made of CORK! For SPRING AND SUMMER! Which means they'll match EVERY FUCKING THING I OWN, included but not limited to neon stuff (of which I own a lot). Also, hi, 20% off Bona Drag through April 15, so ride that. I'll be over here in the corner with the ice pack, hashtag frowny face.

$98, J. Crew

PS -- While a cork clutch AND cork Oxfords are WAY too matchy-wack, just know that J. Crew's cork clutch exists. Cork. It's what's for dinner.

Snowpocalypse Shopping!

My neighborhood. That MIGHT be a car in the bottom left corner.

I don't know if you heard, but New York City basically turned itself inside out after it snowed here. What? You didn't hear that it snowed in New York? Well it did. You could bury bodies in my three-foot snowbanks in my backyard. (Note: PLEASE don't.)

Anyway, here are the things I contemplated buying:

($259, Elly Clay, Stantonjames.com)

I'm really not a clutch girl myself, but if I were this zippery animal print clutch. Oh wait? There's a chain strap? Hm. Considering moving this from "maybe" to "very possibly."

($129, Aryn K, Babelfair.com)

For YEARS I avoided tie-dye for fear of any and all associations with Birkenstocks, dirty toenails, baggy corduroy pants, and the band Phish. (I will admit a BRIEF dalliance with Phish my sophomore year of high school, but in my defense, everyone was doing it, and it was short-lived. I admit that they do possess a certain level of musical proficiency, but if I wanted to listen to the sounds of a vacuum cleaner, I'd plug in my Dyson, feed it an electric violin, and lay on the couch.) Anyway, I've slowly realized that a black or grey tie-dyed garment, and not, say, a rainbow swirl, can be mysteriously cool. I really love Helmut Lang's shadowy, smoky prints. Anyway, the point is, a DARK tie-dye -- like this great asymmetrical jacket -- can be so appealing. Any combination of red, green, yellow and blue = Ben & Jerry's. Don't do that.

MOAR Peacock Pretties: One-Of-A-Kind Marta Per Necklace & Super Fancy Peacock Clutch

More peacock indulgences I wish I could indulge in!

($240, Marta Per, Farfetch.com)

Amazing bib-style necklace fashioned out of three vintage brooches. And the cock of the walk -- a peacock. Seriously, look at the handmade handiwork, craft, and creativity that went into this.

($1495, Raven Kauffman, Vivre.com)

This gold-grille-front (GRILLED!) peacock clutch is practically equivalent to my rent. Too bad it's not big enough to live in.

GRILLZ!

Ay Dios Mios, Mami, Quiero This See By Chloe Bag!

I've been doing a fair amount of running around all this week, doing Fashion Week stuff, seeing many things -- most beautiful, a couple questionable. But this See By Chloe Les Jardins Let's Party floral clutch is one of the best things I've seen all week.

($295, See By Chloe, Tobi.com)

Florals are huge for spring, but I love how the florals here are bigger, bolder, and embrace primary colors -- more punk princess than prairie pioneer.

Cyber December: 20% Off At ShopSueyBoutique.com!

ShopSueyBoutique.com's giving YOU, dear reader/ budget-conscious Binger, 20% off the entire site through Christmas Day. No promo code -- 20% will automatically be deducted when you check out.

A few okay pieces among tons of designer bag knockoffs and whatnots:

($58, ShopSueyBoutique.com)

Super cute bowler bag! Love the mod detailing!

($18, ShopSueyBoutique.com)

Crazy-ridiculous, and therefore I kinda want it.

Holiday Handbags!

Ho Ho HooooMG I want these cute clutches:

($145, Kooba, Activeendeavors.com)

Love the idea of holiday accessories that are sort of in the red family but aren't like Santa-red.

($350, GoldenBleu, Fashionchateau.com)

I will, however, make an exception for GoldenBleu. LOVES.

($138, Hobo International, Bloomingdales)

Not bad. I really love the black one.

($78, Banana Republic)

A nice little elegant number to hold all of the 143 lipsticks and glosses I invariably and inexplicably have on me at any given moment.

($65, Levis)

I've spent half my day in disbelief that this bag is by Levi's. (Okay, not half. More like 13 seconds, but still...) HOW cute it is this? I never would've guessed -- it looks like a sweet little 1950s vintage number handed down to you by your "dirty joke" auntie. Hooray to you, Levi's, for nailing that subset of the handbag market!

($138, Bo Bo Bags, Luggagepoint.com)

I am including this as a "holiday bag" because it's a cute travel bag, and sometimes you gotta travel over the holidays. To get to where the presents are.

(Apprx $61 USD, Topshop)

And speaking of presents, I would very much like to receive this Topshop butterfly print bag as a present! Looks like it's sold out right now, though perhaps they'll re-up?


And finally, here is a bag I PRAY no one receives as a present, for it is no gift at all:

($54.99, the erroneously named Ivegotyourbag.com)

Um, I don't know who the fuck Kippy is or why s/he charges $445 for belts that probably even Brooke Hogan wouldn't be caught dead in, but someone needs to put a stop to this fashion morts ASAP before the holidays are RUINED FOR EVER FOR EVERYONE!

Bag Hag

Many many bags I'm lusting after, none of which will ever truly be mine. Wah!

($695, Botkier, ActiveEndeavors.com)

Sigh. The elusive Botkier Sophie tote. So gorgeous. So grey. So expensive. Frowny face.

($695, Botkier, ActiveEndeavors.com)

Just as delicious and enviable in "Raisin." And so much better than regular raisins. Wah.

($499, Mike & Chris, Adasa.com)

Mmmm. Mike & Chris. Love this grey (duh) slouchy leather bag. And I like that it's not uncomfortably super huge.

($1,350, Marni, Ronherman.com)

Perfect for my jaunts... to... Target.

($660, Marni)

Wah. Even the teensy Marni coin purse is too spensy.

($195, Isabella Fiore, Adasa.com)

So fun. It's technically a wallet, but for $200, it's a clutch as far as I'm concerned.

($113, Mat & Nat, Rouletteclothing.co.uk)

Speaking of clutches, this one is so cute!

($101, Mat & Nat, Rouletteclothing.co.uk)

I'm not usually into metallic bags, but this one is both small and not too like HEY! LOOK AT ME! I'M TRENDY AND METALLIC!

($445, Karman Sarwar, Brownsfashion.com)

Unlike this horrendous "fan bag." Gah! No one should ever have to suffer the indignity of being seen with this bag.

Jeweled Clutches!

Ay mami! I've been sitting on this topic for so long my ass hurts. No excuses! Post time! So many jeweled clutches, so few occassions to use a jeweled clutch!

Let's start with the completely unattainable ones, shall we?

($1890, Devi Kroell, Net-a-Porter.com)

Amazing. Too bad Devi Kroell didn't feature any of these in her Target collection.

($2,495, Leiber, Neiman Marcus)

A piece of art, I tell you! Sadly, just a few thou outta my tax bracket.

($580, Burberry, Net-a-Porter.com)

Oh mah stars. Love the geometrical designzorz.



($1255, Burberry)

Ah... Burberry. You tease, you! So close yet so far away.

($98, Steve Madden, Macys)

Oh Steve Madden. You make lovin' fun!

($57, Monsoon.co.uk)

Not bad atall. I like the different jewel types.

($28, Lulus)

Super cute, and I love the zipper pocket on the back! Lulus done does it again!

($45, Shopintuition.com)

Easy peasy! Love the purple one.

($38 Buy It Now, eBay)

OMG. LOVE. Need. Might... buy. But I already have a green clutch. But can you EVER have enough green clutches, I ask?

($133, Dazeddorothy.co.uk)

I can't decide if this is cute or a mini trainwreck... like, not a complete wreck, but more of a derailment.

($55, Betsey Johnson, Amazon)

I've blogged about this before, and now I'm blogging 'bout it again because I still want it. Wah!

($33, Asos.com)

Love love love. And no, it's not jeweled -- technically it's "plated," -- but it's close enough.

($68, Shopsueyboutique.com)

No, it's not a clutch, but it is jeweled, and it IS ridiculous, and I DO love it.