Osborne's Cork Oxfords Are Making Me A Better Person

OMFG, dudes. Getting older officially SUCKS. I've been MIA from FashionBinge for a week because I for REAL haven't been able to SIT because I threw my back out, as so electrifyingly demonstrated by the stock image on the right. I can't even believe I'm old enough to be able to "throw my back out." I'll be checking the mail for my AARP, and I'll probably start eating dinner at 4:30pm. 

Anyway, my PT (who's GREAT, by the way, and if you're in the New York Area and need someone, I can't recommend Manhattan Physical Therapy and Pain Center strongly enough) suggested I not wear heels. I told him I'm too vain for sneakers, but I'm gonna try to get by in flats for a while. It's a curse because I'm 5'1" and need all of the height I can get, but a blessing because HOW CUTE are these cork flats by Osborn:

$160, Osborn, BonaDrag.com

Again, CUTE OXFORDS made of CORK! For SPRING AND SUMMER! Which means they'll match EVERY FUCKING THING I OWN, included but not limited to neon stuff (of which I own a lot). Also, hi, 20% off Bona Drag through April 15, so ride that. I'll be over here in the corner with the ice pack, hashtag frowny face.

$98, J. Crew

PS -- While a cork clutch AND cork Oxfords are WAY too matchy-wack, just know that J. Crew's cork clutch exists. Cork. It's what's for dinner.

Fall 2012 New York Fashion Week Fall 2012 Trends According To... Me

New York Fashion Week has come and gone faster than that time scrunchies almost happened again (and thank Wang they didn't). Now everyone can stop being like "OMG I'M SOOOOOO STRESSSSSEEEED OUT ABOUT FASSSSSSSIHON WEEK" and get back to being like "OMG I'M SOOOOOO STRESSSSSEEEED OUT ABOUT FASSSSSSSIHON." Oh... sweet, sweet first world privilege! Some people have no filtered water or iodine, others simply have no time to get down to Milk and back to Lincoln Center! THE HORROR.

Anyway, a lovely young journalist at Columbia University's Uptown Radio program asked me to do some guest commentary about the top trends and themes at New York Fashion Week this season. (Here's where you can listen to my fashion week commentary.) So, here's a slightly more in-depth look at all of the cool shit that headed down the runways and will be eventually making its way into magazine spreads and, in a more pedestrian way, onto the racks and backs of regular, garden-variety scrubs like you and definitely like me.

+ MENSWEAR: Overall, there was very little cutesy or stock sexiness going on at fashion week. Sure, it's fall, but everyone was uniformly either very covered up, very buttoned up, and very tailored. Basically, we're becoming a nation of austere puritans where women dress like men but also get to be vixen-ish femme fatales at the same time, like at Jason Wu, St. John, Donna Karan, Michael Kors, and Vivienne Tam. Menswear in all of its various gender-bending iterations was all over that runway in a very '40s way with peplum kicks or noir-ish baggy, louche silhouettes.

Jason Wu, Donna Karan, Vivienne Tam

+ METALLICS: Stunning metallics, especially at Badgley Mishcka, where they did '20s-inspired'80s metallics SO so right. Alexandre Herchcovitch's golds glowed. And that luminous, Chrysler Building-inspired silver Michael Kors gown!!

Prubul Gurung, Badgley Mischka, Michael Kors

+ CRAZY COLLARS: Marc Jacobs, Catherine Malandrino, Vivienne Tam, Ohne Titel, Altuzarra, Rachel Roy, Reed Krakoff, Thom Browne and Badgley Mischka all popped crazy collars, from mysterious, exaggerated turtlenecks that impeded models' eyesight, to creations fashioned out of former furry creatures to Anne Boleyn-chic Baroque collars. And speaking of Baroque, that leads me to...

Rachel Roy, Ohne Titel, Vivenne Tam, Reed Krakoff

+ CRAZY COSTUMES: Dramatic, nostalgia costumes ruled at Marc Jacobs (the most dramatic, fanciful show of the season), Norma Kamali, and OH Marchesa!

+ COLOR TRENDS: Elie Tahari's blues are definitely the new black. Ravishing reds ruled at Zac Posen, Thakoon, Charlotte Ronson, Norma Kamali, Monique Lhuillier, Sophie Theallet, Gary Graham, Chris Benz, Donna Karan, L'Wren Scott and Michael Kors. (Guess I'm gonna have to figure out how to wear red. I'm thinking I need red jeans to pair with a peach top.)

Michael Kors, Creatures of the Wind, Monique Lhullier, Norma Kamali

MY NEON CAMBRIDGE SATCHEL IS HERE, Y'ALL!

YOU GUISE! My neon yellow Cambridge Satchel bag is HERE! It's REAL. And IT'S SPECTACULAR. YES, I spotted a couple at Fashion Week, which was around the same time Lucky's Cambridge Satchel piece landed in my inbox. Sadly, those two things combined are all it took for me to deliberate for less than the time it takes for Rachel Zoe to deny food and purchase a neon yellow one.

I had my first name ghost embossed onto the front. (I don't LOVE how that looks, because I'm not that into the kerning, but at least it's subtle -- ALSO, shame on anyone who succeeds in stealing this, because you KNOW their name ain't Tamar.)

My Cambridge Satchel was a little over $200 (would've been less without the embossing, but I figured if I'm spending 2 Benjies on it, it might as well come with my name on it), which is a fairly small price to pay for an "it bag" or whatever. (You can get green and pink satchels at J. Crew). And honestly, IDGAF about "it bags," and I didn't want it because it's an "it bag." I just wanted "this bag," you know? Plus, hi, it's handmade to spec, and it took just a little over a month. OH, and, the best part, IT SMELLS SOOOOOOOOOO leathery! In the good way. I made three people at work smell it, and they all agreed. 

OVERALL, my findings as one who coveted a neon Cambridge Satchel and then pulled the trigger: TOTALLY WORTH IT! OH YEAH, as for the naysayers who are all "OMFG NEON BAGS ARE TOO BRIGHT AND HURT MY EYES"? That's your problem, bro. Not mine.

Why Buy: J. Crew's PERFECT Surplus Khaki Pants

($74, J. Crew)

At long last! My search for the PERFECT summer khaki is OVAH. J. Crew's Surplus khaki pant has ended a heretofore fruitless quest for crisp, lightweight, half-fitted, half-slouchy khakis that look cute rolled up and CAN'T NOT go with pretty much all of my favorite basics like a denim jacket and a stripey top, a vintage band tee and moccasins, whatevz, it's a free country.

They come in Blanched Almond (beige) and Cool Slate (blue), but I got the Utility Green (olive).

THE FIT: I'm usually right in between a size 6 and an 8. I got an 8 because khakis look best on me when they've got a little slouch to them. Swag.

THE PRICE: They're $74, and they're the best $74 I've ever spent on khaki pants.