Creepers Are Creeping Back

$92, BC Footwear

Yes, way. Creepers -- those steadfast stalwarts of the flatform family -- are back. They've crept their way from the '70s, '80s and (un petit peu) '90s into the '00s, and, quite frankly, I see no problem with that. They're so bulky it's almost bonkers, and they're like Oxfords on steroids.

I'm partial to BC Footwear's Creepers. Wear them with a little babydoll dress for a variation on the Kurt-and-Courtney '90s look (everyone will expect you to wear Docs, and you'll throw them for a loop-de-loop). Or, do a menswear look with a pair of rolled-up baggy black pants -- hi, Zara's excellent trousers -- and a simple black and white striped shirt. OR, do yourself a favor and try a fitted, bright silk blouse (I'm sensing mustard, because fluorescent is too overwhelming in this case) and a blazer with a few gold chains and some big bangles for a Duckie-meets-New Jack Swing variation. Man, New Jack knew where it was at with color.

$69.99, J. Crew

$59.90, Zara

See? The one on the far right knew what was up. Those patent work boots were all wrong. All that kept these bros from greatness were four pairs of Creepers. Didn't they almost have it? (BTW, what's the guy on the far right doing these days? Prison time? I'll feel bad if he became a cancer researcher.)



Okay. Do the creep. And don't forget to smile...

These Zara Snakeskin Boots Are Wishing Me A Very Happy Chanukkah

$189, Zara

BREAKING ZARA-IS-DOING-EVERYTHING-RIGHT-related news: I didn't find these snakeskin and leather Zara boots. They found me. Happy Chanukkah!

You Can Shop Zara Online Now, SO BUY EVERYTHING!

Zara finally FINALLY launched its US e-commerce site. And, welp, I now spell "trouble" Z-A-R-A.

I mean, these four dresses alone:

$189, Zara, Zara.com

Totally Judy Jetson goes to ring dance.

$59.90, Zara, Zara.com

Kinda Helmut Lang-ish, no?

+ More Zara dresses after the jump...

Sweet Zara Balenciaga-esque Heels

I'm not fully sure why Zara's dropping these fun chain-link sandals like right this second, but they're fun, limited-edition -- only 1,000 pairs made -- and at $229, they're basically Balenciaga for like a seventh of the price. Pick 'em up if you're in the neighborhood.

Forever 21:3:16

This tidbit came up the other day while discussing that Zara swastika (Zarastika?) story... in case you din't know... yes, Forever 21 DOES have wee little John 3:16s printed on the bottom of their shopping bags. Weird, right?

(Photo yoinked from this random Spanish blog)

The highly underrated New York Sun (which, to me, is like Salon.com but less of a commitment!) did a good piece on the Forever 21 bags last year.

I love this amazing quote from the New York Sun article:

"Jesus wore clothes," a 22-year-old from Brooklyn, Jason Schultz, said when informed about the phrase on his bag. He said it didn't bother him that the company wanted to spread a religious message.

TROOTH!

Anyway, I personally don't really have a problem with this. If I were Christian and super into the Bible, maybe I would, but then again, if I were Christian and super into the Beeblay, I'd probably be really stoked that John and his message were getting out to those who need it most: teenagers who buy cheap, slutty clothes! (Or, adult women like me who buy their designer knockoffs!)

I actually find it WAY more disturbing that In-N-Out burger prints a passage from Revelations on the bottom of their burger wrappers. Because NOTHING says “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” like animal style fries!

(Photo by me from my trip to the ORIGINAL In-N-Out Burgz in San Francisco.)

Free Swastika With Every Purchase Of A Handbag!

Awww! Cute '60s Mexicali boho print with the little bicycles and goats ... so Joni Mitchell circa the "Blue" album ... oh cute little flower pots... awww little green swastikas... wait... wah??? Yes, that's an actual bag sold (until recently) at Zara in the UK. Okay, okay, I KNOW all that ballyhoo about the swastika originally being a Sanskit symbol for good luck or whatever, but um, also, more recently, it was a symbol of HITLER and MASS GENOCIDE! So WTF is it doing on this Zara bag??? Who the fuck is Zara's buyer and how could you miss not one, not two, not even three... but FOUR FUCKING swastikas on a handbag????? Call me Jewish, but that's just bad business right there.