When I Say Celine, I Generally Mean Celine Dion

Hi blog! Long time no blog! But I never went anywhere except to work and to my bed and then to a special quiet place to cry on the inside because it's all so much. But I missed you, us, everything we share. Like this Céline Dion shirt. I mean, come on. How can you not clap for that:

It's by Reason Clothing, and it's sold out, but maybe if you ask pretty please nicely they'll make s'more. Now, I highly encourage you to watch Celine Dion, greatest singer in the world, dance to Daft Punk's "Get Lucky." 

Immortalize Sophia Loren's Serious Shade-Throwing Across Jayne Mansfield's Chest And Yours In Everyman's Sweatshirt

Important moments in shade-throwing history.

In 1957, Jayne Mansfield and her egregious rack showed up unannounced and, in the words of Alanis Morissette, uninvited to a dinner at Romanoff's in Hollywood in honor of Sophia Loren in a blatant attempt to steal attention away from Sophia. (Great way to say "welcome to America!")

It would not be the last time Jayne pulled such a move -- she'd go on to orchestrate several highly public chest-barings and nipple-related "wardrobe malfunctions," prompting one writer to put her basic shit on blast by expertly summarizing why the public was tired of her fuckery: "We are amused when Miss Mansfield strains to pull in her stomach to fill out her bikini better; but we get angry when career-seeking women, shady ladies, and certain starlets and actresses...use every opportunity to display their anatomy unasked." BURN NOTICE.

Back to the notorious dinner party-crashing: How did Sophia Loren respond? By throwing serious blackout-level side-eye shade directly at Jayne and her twin offenders. Understandable.

It was a classic moment in 20th-century shade-throwing history. And a seminal shade moment of this sort clearly merits its own sweatshirt, such as the Everyman Shade sweatshirt I just bought. It's making its way to my home right now, and I'm sure I'll enjoy years of throwing epic shade of my own while enjoying its comfort.

$75, Everyman

Here's That Kate Spade "Bust A Move" iPhone Case You DEFINITELY Need

$25, Kate Spade Saturday, Fab.com

Kate Spade Saturday is about to launch -- it's Kate Spade's lower-priced line of cute, quirky clothing, accessories, and housewares, the Marc By Marc Jacobs to Marc Jacobs' regular Marc Jacobs (the brand actually feels like a direct competitor in the mid-ranged accessories and lifestyle items market, or whatever), and I'm suddenly feeling the overwhelming need to adorn my iPhone in a banana-yellow case emblazoned with the immortal (yet evergreen) words of Young MC's Bust A Move.  

Check out the Kate Spade Saturday pre-sale on Fab.com, and props to the brand for buying the "Saturday.com" URL.

Kate Spade Saturday '80s geometrical bangles. Need, obviously.

Yes Yes Yes To This Amy Winehouse Sweatshirt On Etsy

$39, DaunLondon.Etsy.com

I don't really need a sweatshirt with Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" written in cursive in her beehive, but it's becoming increasingly hard for me to argue that I don't need it.

Related, please to enjoy my FAVORITE Amy Winehouse song, "Valerie." That beat always takes to my happy place, or maybe it's thinking about Mark Ronson that takes me to my happy place. That guy could GET. IT. Anyway, 'ta!

Aldo's Bakker Fringe Platform Sneakers Are My Best Shoe Purchase Of Q2 (Plus: Sponsored Video)

(Note: This blog contains a sponsored video! Click it, or don't! I'm low-pressure over here!)

I hate to play favorites when it comes to shoes -- I love all of my children equally. But, really, every parent has a secret favorite, and Aldo's Bakker wedge platform sneakers are my own little golden child. Don't tell your sister though, okay? (This is SO "Prince Of Tides" dysfunctional! Also, any time I can make a "Prince Of Tides" reference when writing about fashion deserves a hair flip, don't you think?)

I know it's basically summer, but I recently bought these in brown, and I've worn the ish out of them. And they kinda feel like Isabael Marant wedge sneakers, but they're essentially what you'd pay in tax on a pair of those bad boys. And black boots are a year-round staple. (But then again, I don't wear flip-flops, and I generally consider shorts a crime against nature, so what do I know about seasonal dressing?)

($60, Aldo)

Furthermore, you have to admit that Aldo's Spring/Summer 2012 campaign, shot by Terry Richardson, featuring Anais Pouloit, is cheerfully "Teenage Dream"/ Betty & Veronica kitschy-cute with the heart sunglasses and the Popsicle. Matchy-matchy lipstick and Popsicles totally work, IMO. And, if you can pull off an all-white bathing suit, then God bless.

YOLO Rings By Wendy Brandes? Because, Why Not?

$415 for the set, Wendy Brandes

The hilarious and talented Wendy Brandes, jeweler and blogger in one, made YOLO rings. (Google it.) Because someone had to.They're $415 for the set. Get 'em. Because really... # YOLO. (Or, as I like to say, YOLOL.)


Also, in related news, Zac Efron has a YOLO tattoo. I'm pretty sure that's all you need to officially cement your douche status for all eternity.

Credit: Zap2it.com

Also, sorry, Drake, but I'm giving YOLO to the Strokes.

DKNY's Quinn Ankle Strap Heels Are Sex On Fire

$254, DNKY, My-Wardrobe.com

You. Guys. I CAN'T with DKNY's taupe and silver Quinn ankle strap heels. I simply cannot. I refuse. To accept how shit-hot modern they are. Totally sex on fire. And don't act like the inner red-cup, white-hat frat boy doesn't doesn't fucking secretly love Kings Of Leon.

Creepers Are Creeping Back

$92, BC Footwear

Yes, way. Creepers -- those steadfast stalwarts of the flatform family -- are back. They've crept their way from the '70s, '80s and (un petit peu) '90s into the '00s, and, quite frankly, I see no problem with that. They're so bulky it's almost bonkers, and they're like Oxfords on steroids.

I'm partial to BC Footwear's Creepers. Wear them with a little babydoll dress for a variation on the Kurt-and-Courtney '90s look (everyone will expect you to wear Docs, and you'll throw them for a loop-de-loop). Or, do a menswear look with a pair of rolled-up baggy black pants -- hi, Zara's excellent trousers -- and a simple black and white striped shirt. OR, do yourself a favor and try a fitted, bright silk blouse (I'm sensing mustard, because fluorescent is too overwhelming in this case) and a blazer with a few gold chains and some big bangles for a Duckie-meets-New Jack Swing variation. Man, New Jack knew where it was at with color.

$69.99, J. Crew

$59.90, Zara

See? The one on the far right knew what was up. Those patent work boots were all wrong. All that kept these bros from greatness were four pairs of Creepers. Didn't they almost have it? (BTW, what's the guy on the far right doing these days? Prison time? I'll feel bad if he became a cancer researcher.)



Okay. Do the creep. And don't forget to smile...

DVF's Blue Bucket Tote = She Is Beautiful

$545, DVF.com

I've been trying to incorporate more color into my wardrobe -- specifically fuschia, burgandy, mustard, orange and aqua (duh not all at the same time). And I've been trying to get out of my kneejerk "just pair it with black" response, instead mixing khaki and camels and other neutrals with bright bolds. Who am I kidding? I'll probably just wear black and shit forever. Regardless, this beautiful Diane Von Furstenberg leather "Drew" tote in Matisse blue is the holy grail of fall blue hues. It's so beautiful, in fact, that only one song properly captures the true essence of its allure. And that song is "She Is Beautiful," and that man is Andrew W.K., obviously.

ALOHA FROM PORTLAND!

Ahoy! I'm in PORTLAND (and blogging because I just I had an un-lazy moment before I left and purchased a very adorable Asus Eee mini notebook -- it's actually called Eee! Nothing is cuter!) I've not yet put a bird on anything, but I have eaten raw pigeon and played pinball in a REAL ARCADE. Portland's pretty great. Everyone is really kind, lots of people say "man" a lot, and people TRULY seem to give a shit that you can find your way around easily, know which things there are out there to see and do and that you have a great time in their city. I know. Weird, right?

Anyway, I'll bwog more when I get back, but until then, please enjoy a video I shot for work. It's me in Times Square, asking passersby what they think about Someday, Justin Bieber's new fragrance for the laydeeez.

Tags: MTV Shows

Seneca Rising's Junction Tunic Is En Vogue Loungey-Sexy

($167, Seneca Rising)

This Seneca Rising Junction tunic is just so dreamy and drapey and like loungey, lived-in, lazy-afternoon, slightly-crunk-off-rosé sexy. It feels the way En Vogue's "Giving Him Something He Can Feel" sounds, you know?

The Tucker Blouse Is An Injustice

This Tucker Hummingbird Nectar silk top is an injustice. WHY? Because it's perfect and because it's not mine. I should've gone into shoplifting after all.

($335, Tucker)

($276, Tucker, Piperlime.com)

Appropriate songs: Katy Perry, "Hummingbird Heartbeat"


The Smiths, "Shoplifters Of The World

Hand Me My Leather... Dress From The Gap

Via FashionETC

To quote the sage words of Tori Amos, "hand me my leather." Gap just had their Fall 2011 preview, and it looks like leather dresses are on tap (which means hopefully they'll be in stores in jut a few months?). Which is perfect, because I've have a leather dress on my wishlist since 2009. Meaning that a leather dress is still very much on my own little Maslow's hierarchy of unfulfilled non-needs. WTH? I'm slacking on satisfying my non-basic needs! Also, my plans to find the perfect black leather mini skirt fell spectacularly on its little ass, so the time has never been nigh-er to get my shit leathered up!

Sam Edelman's Spiked Lorissa Shoe Will Cut You

($209, Sam Edelman, Solestruck.com)

So, Sam Edelman's stud-covered Lorissa heels are hurting me real bad... in the real-good way. The kinda bad Fiona Apple meant when she was sloshing around in that hot tub back in 1997. That's it. Sam Edelman's studded heels = the Fiona Apple of footwear.

($209, Sam Edelman, Solestruck.com)

And the close-toed Yuma? Seriously? I'm 'bout it 'bout it.



(And PS: This is totally my all-time favorite karaoke song.)

It May Be Tuesday, But It Sure Feels Like Friday

Hai! I'm out in Austin for SXSW, so I'll be back soon. Until then, I leave you with the BEST THING EVER WRITTEN OR RECORDED AND SHARED ON THE INTERNET EVER. The Rebecca Black "Friday" video. THIS SHIT IS REALER THAN UNICORNS.

Also, here's a pic of me jumping up in the air like a 1980s Toyota commercial. FUN FUN FUN FUN! WE SO EXCITED!

The Year In Beauty: These Are My Favorite Things, Part 4

Welcome back!

You, like me, are probably sitting around in your sweatpants, so what better time to check out the fourth installment of my and Beauty Blogging Junkie Amber's favorite beauty products of 2010. I've been writing about beauty every week for Naag.com, so there are plenty of lipsticks, perfumes, eyeshadows, mascaras and wine to cover.

Let's get right to it.

Here are the beauty products we covered in this video:

Me: Davines Number 1 Finest Oil Non Oil For Wizards (a miraculous anti-frizz serum), Revlon Retro Fire and Ice nail polish in Siren, Miss Pucci Perfume and Tom Ford Black Orchid Nail & Lip Set.

Amber: Keratin Complex Serum, Immunocologie Skin Care, and CND Effects Line polish.

 

Watch Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

The Year In Beauty: These Are My Favorite Things, Part 1!

Happy between-Chanukkah-and-Christmas time!
Beauty Blogging Junkie's Amber and I got together, pooled our favorite lip glosses, hair goops and mascara wands, opened a bottle of red wine, and made a couple of videos of us discussing our favorite beauty products of 2010.

I learned a lot from doing these videos! I learned that while my outfit looked adorable in person, it came off as positively uncute on camera. I wore a high-waisted circle skirt whilst SEATED ON MY SMOOSHY COUCH! I look like I was born without a waist. Ugh. Live and learn, people. I learned that making videos is insanely time-consuming, and while I already respected bloggers who regularly devote their time to making their own videos, I now pretty much think they're Jesus. And I learned that Windows Movie Maker was put on this planet to destroy me.

Anyway, hope you like it! There are more where this came from!




And check out my Naag.com review of MAC's Haute & Naughty Lash
and C.O. Bigelow Protein-Enriched Conditioner for Dry & Damaged Hair. Amber hyped up Tokyomilk Bon Bon Shea Butter Hand Cream and Panthera Ultraflesh Mascara, which is SHAPED LIKE A PANTHER. I got excited about that, you'll notice.Who even cares how it works when it looks like that?

I Dream Of: Wren's Leopard Fur Coat

($795, Wren, Shopbird)

The leopard fur coat. It's so classic, so decade-unspecific. So Anne Bancroft-classy and at the same time so old-lady-with-a-cigarette-hanging-out-of-her-mouth-and-waving-a-flyswatter-around crazy.

But mainly, I just love how dreamy a leopard print coat can be. What's under it? Who cares. The coat is the outfit.

I Found The Ugliest Shoes MAYBE EVER!

($35.69, Wild Rose, Cutesygirl.com)

I was JUST talking to a friend about how online shopping addictions have become truly problematic. And then THIS landed in my inbox. HALLELUJAH! I'M CURED! These freak-nasty boots are like methadone to my shopping addiction.

Mad Men's Christina Hendricks Sexies Up London Fog

OHAI JOAN! Christina Hendricks, who is the actual person who plays Mad Men's Joan Holloway, who is NOT a real person, is the new face of London Fog's fall 2010 outerwear and accessories campaign. Because she can make even a suitcase look sexy. It's absurd, I know.












CATHERINE SEZ: Too bad they Photoshopped the sass out of her. Sad. She's not a skinny bitch! Why make her one?

Check out Christina Hendricks talking London Fog sexy times!