MENS SWIMWEAR, TAWK AMONGST YA'SELVES

Being that last week was the first day of... Le Summer (that's "Summer" in French)... I thought it'd be the perfect opportunity to discuss men's bathing suits. I mean, right?!

I'm a huge fan of boardshorts, and really I think it's what works best for dudes. Unless you look like this guy, you probably shouldn't be wearing a little bikini bottom. However, I've recently been introduced to this shorter, more square cut version of a boardshort and I can't say I'm mad at it. Assuming you're well groomed and have decent legs, I think guys could totally go for it.

This season Diesel really delivered, not only by offering some of the most sickning suits... they give us options in length and that's something I've never seen before. You can be on some kind of Goldilocks shit... too short, not short enough, and then jussssst riiiiight.

This Pixel print is def my fav and it comes in three sizes and three zexy color patterns (from $60-$70). They're all available at Zappos and who doesn't love Zappos? You can order all three sizes, try them on and send the ones that you don't like back!:

If you like to have a little more fun with your summer swim look, these Vans Hula Girl boardshorts ($49) in standard 22" length are really something fine. If you use "the Google" you'll easily be able to locate a shirt and beach hat from Vans in the same print... cuz if you're gonna do it... do it big.

AND THENNN... if you wanna get dope-boy-fresh and have THIS auto-play when you step out on the beach, you're going to NEED the new Keith Haring x Joyrich print boardshorts ($100). (They run a little small, I tried them on over the weekend so I recommend getting a size up.) You can hit up the fine folks at Joyrich on Melrose directly or they're also being stocked at the Patricia Field boutique in New York.

And if you're bold, have daddy issues, and LIVE for metallics... then please, take a knee while I show you this next gem. Ladies and gentlemen, but mostly just gentlemen because this post is about MENS swimwear, let me present to you MY NEW... SUMMER 2011 SWIMSUIT (Please ignore the AA "model" - I look way better in this thing):

No, I'm not joking, and YES, that's right folks - you too can look like a little Chipotle burrito (they recently switched to gold foil, FYI - smart move on their part because I eat there more now.) and you have American Apparel to thank (and me because I showed you) and at only $36 why not get the silver one too? (In case Chipotle switches back, you'll be prepared.)

RORY SEZ: Too Much Leopard Print Is Just Enough

Hey new friends! Me, Rory, here. The main reason why Tamar and I are friends is because of Rory, her cat... the OTHER reason is because of our mutual love of leopard print. I know you just met me and stuff, but let's get right into it. When it comes to leopard print (for men or women), too much is just enough.

I feel like right now is my time... I feel like the moment is now... I feel blessed that almost every fashion house has delivered leopard print in one form or another since the winter of 2009, I'm talking everyone from bougie brands like Givenchy to street brands like Crooks & Castles to store brands like Zara &Topman. It's like everywhere you look, and I am NOT complaining.

Some people say leopard is trashy... I say, fuck you. Right now some of my top mens' leopard print picks are:

These Joyrich drop crotch pants are a must have. Like Tamar, I totally have issues with drop crotch. I was blessed with no ass and when I wear drop crotch it looks like I'm carrying a load in my pants. However with THESE... I'm willing to overlook that. It could be a load of CASH for all you know, ok? My pants are leopard. Let's focus.

This little leopard print bow-tie from Patricia Field is like the perfect way to subtly add leopard to your look. It's not gonna hit your coworkers over the head unless you're pairing it with a leopard dress shirt, in which case they won't even see it. This bow-tie is EVERYTHING... and at $12.00, why are you still reading this?

Another subtle way to add some RAWR to your look is in the shades. These Hoss sunglasses from Von Zipper deliver. My favorite part is the gold band on the side to make them extra tacky, and for that I am grateful.

Another Joyrich gem is this leopard studded fanny pack. It's EVERYTHING. If you're going to be ballsy enough to rock a fanny pack (or "belt bag" as the classy folk at Gucci call it)... you might as well go balls to the wall and rock one that's leopard AND studded. AM I RIGHT?!

$290, DrMartens

Last but certainly not least my pick for leopard footwear comes from our friends across the pond at Dr. Martens. NOT ONLY are they leopard print, but they're ITALIAN HAIR LEOPARD PRINT. Hopefully it's not hair from the cast of the "Jersey Shore" or something. Anywho... these could be worn with pants or shorts because really, they're like the Reese's of footwear -- there's no wrong way to wear them. Their price point is a little high, but the way I justify shit like this to my therapist is to just say that you can't put a price on happiness, and they can't question that.

I'd also like to just throw this out there for any (straight) men who are uncomfortable with my selections... get chu one of these on your arm and you'll be good to go.

It's Time For... CAT FASHIONS!

In honor of my cat Sim's untimely demise, here are a bunch of cheery cat clothes and accessories. Yes, I'm a cat person. DEAL WITH IT. I used to try to air on the side of discretion when shopping for or styling myself with cat-related fashion, so as not to look overly young. But at this point, I'm like fuck it.

($78, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos.com)


($35, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos.com)

Love Marc By Marc Jacobs' Fantastical Tale cat rings in brass and black resin. See? Marc Jacobs gets it!

($76, Your Eyes Lie, Topshop)

British upstart Your Eyes Lie makes excellent, photorealistic digital prints -- like this giant cat print dress -- on the softest jersey dresses. They look fantastic with leggings, run large (yay!), and are super layerable.

($13, Asos.com)

Two baby kitties in a heart ring! Ee!

MAC's Fabulous Felines collection is obviously my favorite collection of all time. When I found out they were doing a cat collection, I almost fell out of my chair. Why I wasn't asked to be a consultant on the collection I will never know, but I'll let it slide. This time.

My favorite of the Fabulous Felines are the Leopard Luxe eyeshadow quad. LOOK at that gold! And that muted orange! So autumnal chic.

($36, MACcosmetics.com)


($14.50, MACcosmetics.com)

Love MAC's Cunning very berry lipstick. It's sold out online, so check your local MAC store.

($25, Paul & Joe Beaute, Beautyhabit.com)

It's CAT LIPSTICK! LIPSTICK IN THE SHAPE OF A CAT! I wrote about it for Naag.

($40, Joseph Aaron Segel, Prettysnake.etsy.com)

Designer and RISD professor Joseph Aaron Segel sources vintage sweater and prints cats and sews hilarious, huge stuffed animals eyes onto them! And check out his Pretty Snake acid cat screenprinted t-shirts!

($38, Joyrich, Karmaloop.com)

LOVE Joyrich because they always have comfie, casual, cheeky streetwear. Love Karmaloop because they ALWAYS have promo codes.