Ann-Sofie Back For Cheap Monday = Oh Lord.

I TRULY love Cheap Monday -- they make edgy and affordable staples. But their Ann-Sofie Back collection is like bad on top of bad.

($65, Ann-Sofie Back for Cheap Monday, Alexandchloe.com)

($85, Ann-Sofie Back for Cheap Monday, Alexandchloe.com)

These destroyed jeans are perfect for your community theater's re-imagining of Grease set in the post-Apocalypse.

($60, Ann-Sofie Back for Cheap Monday, Alexandchloe.com)

And this Duct tape dress just pains me. PLEASE just save up and get the Alexander Wang cut-out leather sweatshirt dress! It's on sale!

($437.50, Alexander Wang, Net-a-Porter.com)

Now please go watch Robyn wear hers in her "Dancing On My Own" video.

Robyn - New Music - More Music Videos

YES, PLEASE, WANT! Cheap Monday Night Sweater Dress

($99, Cheap Monday, Karmaloop.com)

Cheap Monday's eerie, Egyptian-inspired sweater dress is what I NEED to be wearing right now. Someone with $99 to donate to my cause, make this happen. (Note: my cause is THAT I NEED TO BE WEARING THIS CHEAP MONDAY DRESS. kthx.)

WTF Files: Cheap Monday Polka Dot Jeans

($49, Cheap Monday, Urban Outfitters)

Look, I've worn a lot of Really Stupid Shit. Usually on purpose. Usually at parties, and usually because that Stupid Shit's only gotten funnier as the night's gotten later. Also, I can take a joke. And I LOVE Cheap Monday. But the joke's gone too far this time. These polka dot jeans are an affront on good taste. Seriously, can we just not and also say we didn't?

I Bought It Files: Cheap Monday The Blanche Dress in Buffalo Plaid

($56, Cheap Monday, Karmaloop)

I bought this the other week from Epaulet in Brooklyn. I love that shop and its fantastic owners, and I love this comfy cotton Cheap Monday plaid jumper/ dress. (More jumpers I love/ want here.) Also, can I just state that Cheap Monday does everything American Apparel does but does it better and without papering enormous crotches across major urban intersections/ your browser.

Not-So-Cheap Monday

I had no idea that Cheap Monday has so much non-jeans stuff! It seems like here in the U.S. and/or/Of A. we mainly just get jeans. Unfortunately, most of the awesome accessories and stuff are on Swedish site Caliroots (a misnomer if ever there was one), which is actually quite cheap due to the krona-to-USD exchange rate AND Cheap Monday's rad mission to keep their stuff, well, cheap... But... the freaking VAT and shipping is OFF. THE. CHARTS.

Some of the super-cute stuff I wanted:

($14, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

Awesome. Was gonna get one for my sister, who's obsessed with giant squids (this is an octopus, but who's counting?) and one for myself.

($7, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

Seven bucks! What the hull?

I excitedly added two of scarf #1 and some cute $7 skull socks to my cart. The total came to $39 USD. But with $55 shipping (!!!!?!!??!?!?), VAT, and God knows what the fuck else -- tax on being awesome or something? -- the total came to $85 USD. Um, nah brah.


I'll stick with this cute Easter egg-colored scarf instead:

($23, Cheap Monday, Activeendeavors.com)

And here's some horrifying Cheap Monday stuff that, even though I've never worn nor owned, causes me to shudder with morning-after regret:

($28 USD, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"Kids, when I say 4:30 outside of the Orange Julius, I MEAN 4:30 and not a minute later."

($135, Cheap Monday, ActiveEndeavors.com)

"And after I finished going down on that Guns N Roses roadie, he told me I was pretty! He's so dreamy!" WTF? And why are these NOT $65?

($28, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"And after that skanky groupie was done giving me head, I told her she was hot. Can you believe that shit?"

($28, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"OMG. I can't believe Gerard Way looked sort of somewhere near me but almost at me from the stage! OMG! Best My Chem show EVER!"

Top Shopgasm!

Oh bloody hell. Topshop.com just launched its Archive online -- amazing one-of-a-kind vintage pieces. The best ones, according to me:


(Apprx $507 USD, Lee Bender, TopShop.com)
Amazing and gorgeous print.


($365, Lee Bender for Bus Stop, Topshop.com)
Also amazing, but more akin to something you might find in your local (read: NOT NYC) thrift store.


(Approx $507 USD, Lee Bender, Topshop.com)
Good luck finding this outstanding (yet offensive! -- bonus!) dress at your local thrift store.

More vintage-lookin' dresses:
($240, Castle Starr, YLLI)
Stunning. Want.

($407, Robert Rodriguez, Nordstrom)

This has a gorgeous 1960s, June Carter Cash feel to it.


($193, Cindy Lee, RevolveClothing.com)
Also a great '60s-vibe.


($109, What Comes Around Goes Around, YLLI)
I. Have. No. Words...


($184, Tibi, Net-a-Porter)
I hollaed at this dress last week...


($24.50, Wet Seal)
... And Wet Seal hollaed back! Sweeet!


Finally...
($20, Cheap Monday, Mick Margo via Refinery29)
Um, hi. Cheap Monday jeans for $20! More like Cheap Thursday! I'm off to get a pair!