Let The Wild Rumpus STOP!

Listen up: No more animal bandz or whatever the hell they're called on adults. Especially adult MEN. Especially-especially adult HIPSTER men. This is intolerable:



This guy was also wearing black boat shoes (hot) and a nice suit. And some sort of bowling/flight bag hybrid that I admired. Ditch the animal bandz, dude!

++ COUNTERPOINT/ TAMAR: Dude, I LOVE them! And they're called SILLY BANDZ. Because they're SILLY. I agree that guys, unless they're in a band whose t-shirts are sold at Hot Topic, shouldn't wear them. But for girls of any and all ages, it's OPEN SEASON.

Beach Towel Most Foul + Cute Mocs!

So, we're off to the beach tomorrow for a whole week! I needed beach towels, so, despite the fact that it was raining like the end of days, I went to the haven of schlocky closeouts that is Conway (it's like a dollar store went on a crazy meth binge and robbed a Sears). I knew I'd find some delightfully tacky misprints, but I had NO clue I'd find something so deliciously foul... Observe:


Go ahead -- click on that shit. The dude's cut-offs are SLIDING OFF, and it looks like he stuffed a potato down what's left of them.

I bought four.

This dude's like a cross between early '80s Michael Jackson and the Unabomber. Amazing. (And speaking of bombs, please try to disregard the fact that my bedroom looks like one detonated seconds before this photo was taken. I think my room couldn't handle the gravity of the towel and shit just started flying toward the door in an attempt to escape.)

On the reals, on my way home, I also bought myself an early birthday present:

($55, Minnetonka, Epaulet)

I'd been wanting a pair of mocs for forEVER, so I stopped in Epaulet on Court Street, where MK got her Melissa + Campana rubber shoes last month. I'd wanted a white pair, but the natural flavor in the middle appealed to me the most, so I went with those. I'd been into Epaulet before, but this is the first time I'd purchased anything. I chatted with the owner, Mike, who's super nice. Great great shop -- you must go!

And speaking of go, so must I! To the gym. Gotta look HOT when draping myself across my King of Pop/ Ted Kaczynski towel. HEEE HEEE!

Leggings By Lohan!

Look who's legging-ing! Per JustJared, Lindsay Lohan will be bringing her no-pants fashion sense to the willing-to-spend masses when she launches her own line of leggings. (Thanks to Chicago's Rustrick-On-That-Cool-Tip for the knowledge-based alert.)

So, is this the ultimate nail in the coffin for leggings, or is this a sign that they're not going anywhere? Or a sign of the impending apocalypse? And will they be as blindingly horbs as these corrupt monstrosities? And are you almost starting to consider Mom Jeans at this point?

And coming soon: Lindsay-branded coke spoons!?

ZWINKY!

Does anyone else find this to be the most fucking annoying and awful commercial ever made (besides the office workers dancing to "Bad Day" in this commercial?) The chorus is amazing "Yeah! It's the bomb! Zwinky! DOT COM!"



Sorry. More fashion-related stuff to come in a bit. Though I will point out that the "fashion" in the Zwinky commercial is ALMOST as bad as the commercial itself.