These Taxidermized Zebra Heads Are All Sold Out On Fab.com, Which I LOVE, BTW (The Site, Not The Zebras)

Bad news for anyone hoping to buy a taxidermized zebra head on Fab.com: they're all sold out. Good news if you're a zebra.

Guys, these things were $2,448 (originally $3,600), and apparently that's a good deal to someone because they're gone. I don't care if you've got Seacrest money. $2,448-worth of disposable income that can go toward taxidermized safari animals is just an absurd thing to ponder. How many of them were there? Are there, like, 400 people with $2,448 and a taste for stuffed and mounted game? Amazing.

Oh, a few words about Fab.com -- it's basically Gilt Groupe for design, it's only been around for about five months (you can read about Fab.com's growth here and valuation here), and it's where many of my dollars have been going lately with the holidays and my sister's 30th birthday coming (OMG WE'RE ALL OLD FARTS).

Fab.com's excellent curation and prices get me every time. Modern jewelry, quirky housewares, even totally functional things like bikes. It's basically like every indie design shop came to me. Of course, Etsy does that too, but Fab.com's goods aren't all handmade (some are though), and the site lacks the Twilight magnets and crocheted doily dolls and related WTF-ery of Etsy. Or this. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Etsy and was very involved in that community for years, and I have the utmost respect for the creative enterprise it's become. Some of the most talented artists on earth can be found in that community. But the massive size of the site can be daunting.

Anyway, a few quick drawbacks about Fab.com, which I hope will be addressed in the near future, since they're still pretty much in start-up mode and have a lot of room to evolve.

CYBER MONDAY SALES BE CRAY-CRAY!

Guys. Put down the pepper spray and check out these SICK Cyber Monday deals. Put some cash back into our weeping economy.

Check out this list of Cyber Monday (heh) promo codes and sales at some of my favorite shops and brands.

+ Mario Badescu
10% off + free shipping AND a free gift for orders over $50.
Code: cmonday

+ Gap, Banana Republic, Old Navy
30% off
Code: hugecyber (LOL!!)

+ Lands End Canvas 
30% off + free shipping
Code: drumstick PIN: 1211

+ Solestruck
50% off sale shoes!
Code: finalsale50

+ Sephora
Free shipping over $50
Code: shipnow

+ Alex & Chloe
30% off select items

+ Urban Outfitters
Free shipping

+ Joe's Jeans
30% off your purchase + free shipping
Code: Cyber30
(sale not applicable to fifty five colors jeans)

Rebecca Minkoff Black Friday Sale + Enter To Win A MINI MAC

Rebecca Minkoff's having a Black Friday sale that doesn't even require you putting on pants. Which is great because mine don't fit anymore.

Friday, November 25 at 12am ET through Monday, November 28 at 11:59, free shipping for orders over $100.

Y'all, some of these bags and shoes are around half off. No joke.

After the jump, check out a few of my favorites from the Rebecca Minkoff Black Friday sale, and enter to win a Mini MAC:

Was $295, now $160, RebeccaMinkoff.com

Was $295, now $165, RebeccaMinkoff.com

Was $195, now $100, RebeccaMinkoff.com

Was $395, now $200, RebeccaMinkoff.com

Was $295, now $140, RebeccaMinkoff.com

Enter to win a Mini MAC. 30 people with excellent luck will win!

Enter by November 30. Winners will be randomly selected December 4.

Dr. Martens Get SUPER Sparkly With Swarovski Elements

Don't be mad, but I'm kinda not mad at the new Dr. Martens Swarovski Elements collaboration. Patent leather Doc festooned with jumbo opalescent crystals feels like a couple "Toddlers & Tiaras" contestants and a few runners-up from "RuPaul's Drag Race" met up for arts and crafts in 1994. I mean that in the kindest, most enviable way.

They're priced between $215 - $655, and you can get these on your feet starting in December.

What Is Your Tampon Trying To Tell You?

Taking a brief hiatus from talking neon satchels, ankle boots, and cats to discuss tampons. Here goes...

The women's locker room at my gym is like a ghost town. It's absolutely deserted. I rarely go up there because it's up four intimidating flights of stairs, which is like its own separate workout, so why bother? But recently I trekked up there because the downstairs bathroom was occupado. Anyway, once I finally got up there, 18 minutes later or whatever, I discovered there was an untouched pirate's bounty haul of sample boxes of free tampons. Being both a normal, blood-letting woman and a savvy shopper, I swiped about 10 boxes. Again, around four people use that locker room per year, therefore obviously no one saw me. These were meant to be given away, so it was a victimless crime. So, score!

Turns out these free tampons were Playtex's Sport Tampons, which are made for "active" women "on the go" or whatever. This explains why there were probably countless marketing meetings to determine that these should be given out free in gyms to "active" ladies. And I'm pretty active, right? I'm actively staring at the clock while half-assedly working out! I'm always actively looking for photos of Ryan Gosling online! I'm VERY active when it comes to taking photos of my cat. I'm MASTERFULLY active when it comes to wasting time. This MUST be the tampon for me, you guys. Except, as the name suggests, these are tampons for sporty women. And I know this because not only do they say "SPORT" on the box, but... you guys... These tampons have athletic-tending phrases printed ON THE WRAPPERS OF THE TAMPON. Such as...

More Sparkly Shoes That Aren't MiuMiu

More ways to own sparkly shoes that aren't $8900 or whatever patrons of Miu Miu's glitter booties are willing and able to spend/ go in debt for. Urban Outfitters' glitter booties are festive and are less than $100, so you can put that eight grand toward a partial down payment on a house in some parts of the US... or on just a kitchen cabinet to fold yourself in half and sleep in if you live in New York.

$69, Deena & Ozzy, Urbanoutfitters.com

 

$69, Kimchi Blue, Urbanoutfitters.com
 

The glitter platform is holiday-ready, but the pretty peach upper is super spring. See? A shoe for all seasons!

Gold Jeans, Y'all!

I kind of want them. That is all.

Cats In Sombreros

Turns out there are a LOT of photos of cats in sombreros on the Internet. Please don't ask me how I made this discovery. Did people question how Edison created the lightbulb? No. They were just fucking happy they didn't need candles to read the dark anymore.

How Do You Wear Red Lipstick?

Credit: Thinkstock

... Funny you should ask. Because I recently started writing for Procter & Gamble's brand-new fashion and beauty site called StyleUnited. As someone who owns enough lipstick to fill up a small Cessna, I'd like to think I know a couple things about finding the right shade of red.

Check out my Styleunited piece on how to wear red lipstick -- anyone can do it, and I mean that. Even guys if you really want to -- and I hope you find more fashion and beauty trends, tips and tricks on StyleUnited.

Cougar Boots Will NEVER EVER EVER Get Your Feet Wet EVER

$180, Cougarboots.com

 

I say this because the folks at Canadian boot company Cougar Boots kindly sent me a pair of their snow boots, and these things are LEGIT. But if these boots weren't the best damn thing (yes, I quoted Avril -- so what?? I'm celebrating Canada, okay?), I would not be sitting here singing typing their praises. After going through about four crappy, inferior pairs of snow boots last year, I wore Cougar's Ringo Star (HEE!) snow boots all winter, trudging through Brooklyn's most obscene, grotesque snow piles. (Snow in New York is beautiful for approximately 14 seconds until it turns into frozen sculptures of sludge, garbage, and dog waste the color of the bottom of a used ash tray.) Not so much as the tippy-tip of the toe of my sock got wet, and zero percent cold got inside. Ever. They're engineered to withstand something like 1 billion degrees below zero. Okay, that's dramatic, but, like a Thermos, they magically keep everything hot and toasty. And they're deceptively light-weight. I'd wear these boots to bed if that weren't a bad idea.

Sergio Zelcer Peep-Toe Heels: Under Consideration

$136, Sergio Zelcer, OpenSky.com

Just when I swore off flash pop-up sites... I go and sign up for another one. #creatureofhabit

Most recently, I got ensnared by the shopping prospects of OpenSky.com, which has a bunch of celebs or whatever who apparently do the shopping for me. I really don't need celebs to shop for me. That's one thing we have in common. I may not have a sex tape (YET!), and I'm not frequently (or ever) photographed drinking Starbucks, but much like a celebrity, I'm pretty fucking good at shopping. But again, that didn't stop me from signing up for OpenSky, where I found myself contemplating purchasing these Sergio Zelcer nude (or, how about we refer to them as beige, since the entire world isn't Caucasian and therefore nude doesn't really apply) heels. The carved heel is kinda festive, and, just to rationalize a little here, I don't have any similar shoes in my shoe collection, which, admittedly, is so bloated that it's hard to justify purchasing another pair for the rest of my life. And I kinda like how the hot pink bottoms make them look just a smidge cheap. Sadly, my brain interprets that as a selling point.

Also, don't hate, but the celebrity "curator" of these heels is Kristin Cavallari, who knows a thing or two about shopping and coffee.

SENSO BOOTS: LADIES, GET 'EM! THE TIME IS NOW...

Karmaloop ($276)

The day you step out in this Delilah Shoe from Senso Diffusion is the day you've arrived.

Typically, I'm not one to sit here and write about women's clothes, shoes, or accessories -- mainly because I don't wear them, but this is a special case. I know it's totally not ok to judge your neighbor or tell women what to wear until you've walked a mile in their shoes or something along those lines but whatever... this is ME tellin' YOU.

LADIES... you NEED these Senso boots. These are head-turners, these are pieces of ART for your FEET... with these shoes it doesn't matter if you've had a pedicure recently or you have a snaggle toe. NO ONE WILL KNOW OR CARE! Aside from their shape, color, and totally bonkers platform heel... THEY'RE FRIGGEN PONY HAIR. Jeans... white tank top... big earrings... #DONE. Trust me. (And if someone decides to make them in a men's high-top... BEST BELIEVE...)

(They're also available in black but like... if you're gonna do it, DO IT. Get pink. This is Rory talking to you.)

Terry Richardson Varsity Jacket! (WTF!?)

Hey, anyone know where I can get a varsity jacket with Terry Richardson's name and face on it?

OH! Really? Colette? DONE. This will go perfectly with the naughty cheerleader in a wet t-shirt photos I was planning to take!  /sarcasm

PS: THESE ARE ACTUALLY SOLD OUT. You should probably defriend ANYONE you know who owns this unironically. Or even ironically. ESPECIALLY ironically.