I Found Love In Jil Sander's Leather Lace-up Platforms

$339, Jil Sander Navy, Solestruck.com

I found love in the otherwise hopeless place that is me on this tired, overworked, back-achy Monday. Be advised: I'd roll around on my back in a puddle of vomit for these Jil Sander Navy perforated leather platforms.

5 Shoes That Make Me Feel Quite Enthused About Spring

I've been wearing variations on black boots for the past, oh, eight months, and therefore I'm in need of a mayjah shoe overhaul for spring. Here are five spring shoes I'd change outfits for five times in one day.

($490, Prada, Neimanmarcus.com)

Looky how sweet these woven Prada flats are. I love how they're ballet flats but so not precious ballerina-y, you know? They almost remind me of fancy Vans. Black pants, white button-down, a couple bangles. Eee!

($90, Aldoshoes.com)

I would literally die in these. Not in the Rachel Zoe way. I would break limbs wearing these, but if were to attempt to wear wedges, I'd happily go down in these.

($335, Diane Von Furstenberg)

These Diane Von Furstenberg heels are the equivalent of a classic trench -- timeless, and they fance up almost everything. Oy. I'm thinking near-naughty thoughts about these.

($450, Jil Sander, Saksfifthavenue.com)

I am NOT a white jeans type, but I'm also not a $450 sandal type. But if I suddenly woke up tomorrow willing to both, well, I'd do both. Maybe with some kinda chambray tank? Maybe? These are kinda hard to style, but for some reason, I'm thinking denim/ chambray shirt.

(Swedish Hasbeens x H&M, available April 20)

SO psyched that Swedish Hasbeens are collaborating with H&M. Granted, maybe I don't understand how physics or whatever work because I truly don't get how these slip-ons stay on, but they'd look so effing adorable with light skinny jeans a nautical striped top.

Pretty In Pink Pumps

($760, Christian Louboutin, Neiman Marcus)

Okay, so these are actually more like stilettos than pumps, but I wanted to stick with the "P" alliteration. Anyway, I've been seeing these pretty, Pepto-pink Christian Louboutin peep-toe heels everywhere. And by "everywhere," I mean on the feet of people far more wealthy and renown than me. But you can't blame a girl for dreaming.

More hot pink heels:

($195, Jil Sander, Josephineonline.com)

A steal, comparatively speaking!

($193, KG By Kurt Geiger, Asos.com)

When I picture my ultimate, actualized self, I'm wearing these.

($36, Pleaser Shoes, 5thfloorproductions.com)

These five-inch heels, much like commandeering a commercial airplane, are a great idea in theory. Let's just say there's a reason these go up to size 16. Rad color though.

($14, Gojane.com)

Slightly more appropriate for church.

+ Also: check out Because I'm Addicted's news byte on Christian Louboutin's red-sole trademark. He's got the "sole patent" on the red sole. Harrrrr... terrible. I know.