Neon Shoes Are IT

Yo. So, this Saturday I was in the Upper East Side doing GOD knows what, and I waited approximately the orbital period of Hayley's Comet for a 6 train. Despite a major case of GMTFOOH-itis, the wait was not for naught because observed at least six chicks wearing some refreshingly awesome neon shoes, which begat my own quest for summery neon and pop-colored shoes. Pair them with another bright bold for some color-blocking action, or with a neutral. LOVE a neon-neutral combo. So let's DO this:

($227, Diane Von Furstenberg, Zappos.com)

I actually wouldn't be mad at these bring orange Diane Von Furstenberg heels paired with a purple, red or bright pink top and some grey or black skinny jeans. Try it! You might like it. What's the worst that could happen? Are you trying to put your mothah in an early grave? Nu?

($140, Melissa, Karmaloop.com)

I want to say that the white cat eye stripe up the back of these Melissa wedges is the best part about them, but that's like saying the hair is the best part of Andrew Garfield, which is really just selling him short. Perfect with a peach or blush maxi dress, you know? Or a bold turquoise.

($73, Melissa, Karmaloop.com)

More cute rubbery realness from Melissa. The double buckle detail is worlds away from the jellies of my youth.

($51, Marais)

Normally I don't fucks with kitten heels due to the whole thick-stack-on-a-short-stick effect they create, but these Marais heels offset that potential disaster with a slimming ankle strap.

($34.99, ModCloth.com)

I probably couldn't sit let alone walk in these purple phenomenons, but if you can, you should.

($244, Chie Mahara, NeimanMarcus.com)

These cork and yellow leather Chie Mahara heels are beautiful enough on my tiny little computer screen. I can only imagine how lush they look IRL.

($484, Loeffler Randall)

These Loeffler Randall x Suno Erin lace-up wedges aren't really neon, but they are beautiful. I like how from afar the pattern looks like googly eyes. You don't see shoes with googly eyes nearly enough these days.

($278, Ground Zero, Shopfatal.com)

Oh HAVE MERCY. Clear vinyl neon and GREY Oxfords? With BREATHING HOLES? Can you kick it? YES WE CAN!

These Tweezers Are $100

($100, Tweezerman, Neimanmarcus.com)

In case you were wondering what $100 tweezers look like, well here's what Tweezerman's $100 pluckers look like. Somewhere, probably in Brentwood, Paris Hilton is reporting a beauty supply robbery.

YESSS! Neiman Marcus Free Ship Code!

Ohai! Had to quickly share that there's a free shipping code for NeimanMarcus.com, which adds up if you shop at Neiman Marcus, which I rarely do, except I just did.

The free shipping code is OCTSHIP, and it expires 10/25/2010 at 11:59pm, so you have an entire work day to spend pondering what to buy.

I got Tom Ford Black Orchid rollerball. Pennies in the world of Neiman Marcus, but since I'm balling on a beauty budget, free shipping only sweetens the deal.

($45, Tom Ford, NeimanMarcus.com)

I Dream Of Diane Von Furstenberg

($725, Diane Von Furstenberg, DVF.com)

I both dream of and die for this Diane Von Furstenberg navy sequin coat from the Diane Von Furstenberg Fall 2010 collection. Well, I die figuratively for it. Not literally. No coat is worth actually dying for. I knew I loved sequins, but I never knew I could love navy so much. I'm constantly amazing myself, aren't I? 

Diane Von Furstenberg coat

($495, Diane Von Furstenberg, Saksfifthavenue.com)

Please also note the excellence of the Axelle DVF sequined cardigan, which comes in black and navy. Normally I'd go for black sequins, but since I already own a black sequined cardigan and a black sequined t-shirt, I'd go for navy. Also, navy's apparently having a moment this fall.

Anyway, since I'm now clearly on a DVF binge, please enjoy my grown-up girl dress that I bought this summer. It's the DVF Anina khaki silk shirtdress, and it looks casual, but it's really not. It's basically a gorgeous earthy canvas that you can style approximately 17,032 different ways.

I bought my DVF Anina dress (on sale!) at Diane T., which is a really nice boutique in Cobble Hill. It's kind of like a touch on the more conservative/mainstream side than is Bird. And a hair more affordable.

Finally, I TRULY think someone should buy me this Diane Von Furstenberg leather wrap dress (!!!!). I've worked very hard this year, I've been a very good girl, and I always finish all of my broccoli before asking for dessert.

($945, Diane Von Furstenberg, NeimanMarcus.com)

I'm Breaking My No Wedges Rule For These Alexandre Birmans

($795, Alexandre Birman, Neimanmarcus.com)

Usually I live life in the wedge-free zone, not because I'm not into wedges but only because I can't walk in them. However, I'd gladly break my wedge ban for these gorgeous Alexandre Birman (the Brazilian shoe designer who CAN'T NOT make sexy/exotic safari-from-the-comfort-of-an-SUV heels) python wedges. They're so gorgeous --- delicate-looking yet tough -- and so visceral that they almost look alive. Bluefly has a few pairs of Alexandre Birman, but it's Just. Not. The Same.

HUZZAH! Rachel Comey Pre-Fall Booties!

Ooh YAY! Direct your attention, will you, to Rachel Comey's Pre-Fall (isn't that the same thing as late-summer?) clunky, chunky heeled booties.

($335, Rachel Comey, Neimanmarcus.com)

Extra special hearts go to the double buckle motorcycle-inspired Barbaro. Order them (for me) now at Neiman Marcus.

The Highs And Very Low Lows Of Cut-Out Heels

I'm truly not the biggest fan of cut-out shoes, especially when they're not sandals; the exception, however, would be Loeffler Randall's cut-out pumps, platforms, booties, and various iterations:

($575, Loeffler Randall, Active Endeavors)

These I can basically deal with. Loeffler Randall, they seem to know what they doing!

Therefore I was glad to see these far-more-affordable knock-knock-knock-offs at Victoria's Secret:

($150, Victoria's Secret)

At those prices, it's like two Loeffler Randalls for the price of one! And I really like the grey and black onesies. They're like the Herve Leger bandage dress of shoes!

($129, Michael Kors, Amazon)

Also okay!

($775, Chloe, Intermix)

Lurves the heel detailing, but OY VA VOY, too much patent. Heidi Montag also favors these, so that'll tell you something right there:


More bad cut-out heels and shoes:

(Giuseppe Zanotti, Intermix)

More like Giuseppe Za-not-ti. OH SHIT! Like something Christina Aguilera picked up at J.Lo's garage sale. Horbs.

($925, Dior, Neiman Marcus)

These Dior heels are either tragically melded together like couture conjoined twins, or else we caught them in the act of copulation. And I didn't know shoes could have sex.

($48, Jeffrey Campbell, 6pm.com)

The exact wrong way to do animal prints. Shudder!!


Um, perhaps the less said about these horrific Pierre Hardy cut-out shoes the better.

(Apprx $120, Topshop)

It's a sandal AND a boot! Rrr... remind me why again?

(Sold out, Chloe, Saks)

That these are sold out suggests to me that there are hundreds, nay THOUSANDS of women out there with equally horbs taste. The horror!

($160, HedoFashions.com)

Thankfully there are several of these disturbing stripper shoes left in all sizes!

($47, Pleaser, Amazon)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, these are mainly available in men's sizes.

($149, John Fluevog)

Marked down from $239. Priced to move. Quickly, one would hope. Gahr.

($48, Urban Outfitters)

The paperbag as shoe! Recyclable footwear, folks!

Even More Peacock Pretties: Dresses, Hair Pieces & More Peacock Plumed And Feathery Accessories I Crave (Including a Peacock Lamp, Even!)

I continue to adore these feathery treasures derived, inspired and sometimes taken directly from the lovely peacock -- and even a few from pheasants! Read on, won't you?

($128, Orion, Asos)

So sweet. Orion's a British label, and Modcloth sells a lot of their fun, flirty retro-inspired dresses, so go do that.

($398, Hayden-Harnett)

Oh Hayden-Harnett. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. This ikat print dress isn't peacocky per se, but the colors are right there. And looooooky close -- leather trim says "Why yes, I will make charming conversation with you at this cocktail party, but I will also swear like a cot-damt sailor once I get a few old fashioneds in me!"

($29, Look From London, Asos)

Bold but would look really cute with like a dark denim mini and maybe a slender black cardi? Because sometimes you CAN mix brown and black!

($39, Bakers)

The "Reese" sandal from Bakers is a leeeeetle much of a much, but I still really like 'em. I saw a girl wearing them and they're MUCH cuter "in action," if you will. Also, this COULD be the world's FIRST gladiator peacock sandal!!!

($12.99, Honeydew, Modcloth)

If it seems like I have a serious bone for Modcloth, it's because I do. And it's so hard to find undies that straddle the fine line between boyshorts and bikinis. These seem to do the trick!

($225, Dangerous Mathematicians)

Brown's usually one of my least favorite colors, but the real peacock feathers on this brown satin clutch have me rethinking that.

($48, Pluma)

This headpiece is made of PHEASANT feathers, which totally flips the script on peacock feathers, changes the game, and takes this shit to a whole new level, to use three cliches in ONE sentence. I don't know that I can pull off headpieces -- actually wait. I KNOW I can, I just basically lack the hairstyling skills. But if I DID have those skills, I THINK I could rock this. I'd love to buy it, but I also know my cat would probably discover it and rekill it. That dick. Anyway, check out the rest of Pluma's gorgeous handmade feather headbands. They're all pheasant (I think), and they're all quite reasonably priced for such prettiness.

($25, Portobello, Etsy)

Love this little peacock headpiece too. A little more subtle.

($48, Urban Outfitters)

Y'all, I even found peacock housewares, like this circle rug. I did, y'all! I really truly dit!

($302, Oasis, Neiman Marcus)

Someday, I will have an entire house filled with nothing but peacock lamps with orange lamp shades.

($16.90, Tracy Porter, Neiman Marcus)

One of my other MANY houses will be filled with obscenely affordable handpainted peacock salt and pepper shakers, like so.

+ The evolution of my rich peacock fashion lust...

Okay. I'm flying back from Vegas ANY minute now. I've survived nearly four hours and several crappy sandwiches. Gah! Can't wait to get back to the BK! And I DO NOT mean Burger King, people! (Though I would rip off someone's press-on nails right now for some Taco Bell.)

Peacock Pretties By Tricia Fix & More

Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might... have any of these peacock-inspired dresses by Tricia Fix, Milly and Hayden-Harnett.

You totally expected some peacock rhyme, right? Well, I am lazy, and nothing rhymes with peacock, so here are the dresses.

($275, Tricia Fix, Couturecandy.com)


($330, Tricia Fix, Couturecandy.com)


($259, Milly, Neiman Marcus)

($210, Hayden-Harnett)

Oh Hayden-Harnett. I just cain't quit you.

Pretty In Pink Pumps

($760, Christian Louboutin, Neiman Marcus)

Okay, so these are actually more like stilettos than pumps, but I wanted to stick with the "P" alliteration. Anyway, I've been seeing these pretty, Pepto-pink Christian Louboutin peep-toe heels everywhere. And by "everywhere," I mean on the feet of people far more wealthy and renown than me. But you can't blame a girl for dreaming.

More hot pink heels:

($195, Jil Sander, Josephineonline.com)

A steal, comparatively speaking!

($193, KG By Kurt Geiger, Asos.com)

When I picture my ultimate, actualized self, I'm wearing these.

($36, Pleaser Shoes, 5thfloorproductions.com)

These five-inch heels, much like commandeering a commercial airplane, are a great idea in theory. Let's just say there's a reason these go up to size 16. Rad color though.

($14, Gojane.com)

Slightly more appropriate for church.

+ Also: check out Because I'm Addicted's news byte on Christian Louboutin's red-sole trademark. He's got the "sole patent" on the red sole. Harrrrr... terrible. I know.