I Pledge Allegiance To Anthropologie's Shoe Selection

Stand up and salute Anthropologie's current shoe selection. I mean, please. Really.

$430, Chie Mahara, Anthropologie.com

These Chie Mahara bolted peep-toe booties are the Aladdin Sane of peep-toe booties and will obsessively consume my thoughts like p0rn0graphy. Not that I obsess over p0rn. I really don't. Just shoes. But no judgements if you're into p0rn. You do you. You've got flesh, I've got footwear.

$378, Judari, Anthropologie.com

Am I aware that these Judari floral wedge sneakers a more of a clusterfuck than Times Square? Well, yeah, but I like a farrago where personal style is concerned. The busier the better.

$438, Bettye Muller, Anthropologie.com

These are just BEGGING to be worn with a red silk blouse and black skinny jeans. Mama, I'm comin' home!

$158, Farylrobin, Anthropologie.com

These mint floral jute flatforms (AHHH! AGAIN! SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE!) are SO Alice In Wonderland goes to a suburban rave in 1994. So, in other words, they're everything I need in a shoe.

Aldo's Bakker Fringe Platform Sneakers Are My Best Shoe Purchase Of Q2 (Plus: Sponsored Video)

(Note: This blog contains a sponsored video! Click it, or don't! I'm low-pressure over here!)

I hate to play favorites when it comes to shoes -- I love all of my children equally. But, really, every parent has a secret favorite, and Aldo's Bakker wedge platform sneakers are my own little golden child. Don't tell your sister though, okay? (This is SO "Prince Of Tides" dysfunctional! Also, any time I can make a "Prince Of Tides" reference when writing about fashion deserves a hair flip, don't you think?)

I know it's basically summer, but I recently bought these in brown, and I've worn the ish out of them. And they kinda feel like Isabael Marant wedge sneakers, but they're essentially what you'd pay in tax on a pair of those bad boys. And black boots are a year-round staple. (But then again, I don't wear flip-flops, and I generally consider shorts a crime against nature, so what do I know about seasonal dressing?)

($60, Aldo)

Furthermore, you have to admit that Aldo's Spring/Summer 2012 campaign, shot by Terry Richardson, featuring Anais Pouloit, is cheerfully "Teenage Dream"/ Betty & Veronica kitschy-cute with the heart sunglasses and the Popsicle. Matchy-matchy lipstick and Popsicles totally work, IMO. And, if you can pull off an all-white bathing suit, then God bless.

Anna Sui Weirds Up Hush Puppies

I like my coffee au lait, my men EXTREMELY normal and in no need of "fixing" whatsoever, and my shoes weird. So these Anna Sui x Hush Puppies are pretty much perfect.

A canvas Oxford with a striped wedge? WHO DOES THAT? Anna Sui does. Seriously, these make me wanna grab a top hat and cane and sing "Steppin' Out With My Baby."

 

Love a fringy moc for the weekend.

Look for Anna Sui's Hush Puppies collaboration in stores this April.

I Found Love In Jil Sander's Leather Lace-up Platforms

$339, Jil Sander Navy, Solestruck.com

I found love in the otherwise hopeless place that is me on this tired, overworked, back-achy Monday. Be advised: I'd roll around on my back in a puddle of vomit for these Jil Sander Navy perforated leather platforms.

Such Great Heights: Gap Design Editions by Pierre Hardy Neutral Floral Bow Wedges

Were I to even attempt to walk in these neutral wedges -- they're part of Gap Design Editions by Pierre Hardy's collection -- I think I'd tumble. I think I'd lay down and almost die. That is a FIVE AND A HALF INCH WEDGE we're talking about. But if you have enough ankle control, coordination and luck, have at it. I never get sick of that sophisticated putty color.

($110, Gap)

Stone! Cold! Robert Clergerie Killers!

Recently I've been looking for shoes to get married in, but I just found these Robert Clergerie "Fosca" platforms, and I'm pretty confident I'd ACTUALLY MARRY THEM.

($476.98, Robert Clergerie, Amazon.com)

I'd pretty much just put them on my table and stare at them while I ate breakfast. Who am I kidding? I never eat breakfast, and when I do, it's on the couch.

Pedro Garcia = Shoe Porn

($237, Pedro Garcia, Net-a-Porter.com)

Pedro Garcia's knotted platform in dusty rose. What I wouldn't do to these...

PS: Overstock has a dece amount of Pedro Garcia shoes.

Marni Suede Platform Slingbacks

($770, Marni, Net-a-porter.com)

Marni? Hey girl. Damn girl. You lookin' good as HELL with some fly-ass purple two-tone suede uppers and wood cone heel. DAMN girl. Call me.

Binge Lust: Office's Grey Patent Platforms

Ridiculously high, absolutely impractical, completely want!

(Apprx $109 USD, Office.co.uk)

They remind me of the red patent Lanvin heels I want, but way, way cheaper, and slightly less FM-i-er in grey!

Natural Comfort For You, Everything Else For Me

Have y'all been into Natural Comfort shoes? They're definitely not for me, but if I had to wear wedges, these might be the only ones I'd go for. The brand was popular in the 1970s, but it's been recently resurrected, for people like Kate Hudson.


($99, Natural Comfort, Shoes.com)
Cute enough.



($99, Natural Comfort, Nordstrom)
Sorta cute...



($100, Natural Comfort, Zappos)
Cuter in teal.



($113, Natural Comfort, Zappos)
Also sorta okay.



($79, Natural Comfort, CutesyShoes.com)
Cute enough, in that Chrissy from Three's Company sorta way.



($97, Natural Comfort, Shoes.com)
Probably the only Natural Comforts I'd wear, of all these, despite the fact that this pair probably qualifies as regulation shuffleboard footwear.


Okay. Now onto "Everything Else For Me"

(Apprx $214 USD, Beatrix Ong, Koodos.com)
Beatrix Ong is the new black.



($49, Seychelles, Nordstrom)
Adorbs! The PERFECT heel height, width and shape. Not too boxy, not too stiletto-y.



($63, Poetic License, Amazon)
ExTREMEly tempting.



(Apprx $143, Fluxa, Barringtonbridges.co.uk)
Gorgeous.



($49, Restricted, Zappos)
For some reason, I'm almost into these.



($32, Bernardo, Modcloth.com)
I'm almost into these too.



($16, Classified, Amazon)
Also sorta cute.



($67, Poetic License, Amazon)
Fun cold weather shoes. And that can't come fast enough, as far as I'm concerned.



($59, Modcloth.com)
Absolutely adorable. This one seems like it'd even flatter curvy boh-days. And, it looks like it'd go well with...



($120, Seven For All Mankind, ShopRapunzels.com)
... These! Which I may buy. I've gone through several pairs, one of which stretched out to massive too-bigness, another which didn't and now no longer fits - wah. Or rather, I outgrew them. Oh wait... I don't care. Are 7s even in anymore?



($60, Becky Oh!, Beckyoh.com)
Extremely adorbs, via Indiefixx's Summer Shopping & Gift Guide.


K, bye!

More Cute Shoes

Perhaps because I was once a Girl Scout, I always plan ahead. So that means I'm already thinking about spring/ summer shoes (which can also means I'm open to wearing summer shoes now -- i.e. with tights -- since winterizing is all the rage these days).

Basically, unless I'm running out to a bodega, and sometimes even then, I HATE flipflops. HATE them. I also don't like platform wedges or espadrilles because I fear my ankle will pronate (fancy word for "buckle") and I'll crack my foot off. And ballet flats are totes ok, but I want an alternative. And if it's not too much to ask, since I'm already on a mission for cute footwear for the spring, I'd like something for NOW, something that isn't boots, because I'm wearing the living hell out of mine. Ok. so, I needed cute slip-on type shoes that I can wear now and in the coming months, particularly when it's not 3 degrees out.

At first I thought seriously about these. They're cute, affordable, and I can even wear them now. But, they're satin, which a.) I don't like, and b.) they'd be ruined even at the mere threat of moisture. So they're out.

($58.98, Tribeca, LoveMyShoes.com)

Next I found these. They're super cute, and I appreciate that extra little lift of height -- at 5.1" I could definitely use it. And the fact that they aren't 5" of platform is also much appreciated.

($15.99, Qupid, Cutesyshoes.com)
I didn't buy 'em, but um, I probably will.

I like the very ledo-deckness of these:

($89.00, BCBC, Macys.com)
They're sorta Shelley Winters in "The Poseidon Adventure" before she dies, of course.

Then I happened upon these on eBay:

And guess who WON! ME! Usually I'm VERY anti brown shoes, but I'm getting older and I think it's time to face my fears. And guess what... they're even more adorable in person, especially on. .. ME!

Since I'm still thinking about ballet flats, I found these, but then I stopped smoking crack and realized that they totally suck.

($39, TeeTee, LoveMyShoes.com)

Then I found these which I also bought. YAY!

($34, Prima Donna, Winknyc.com)

And, because I can't be content to buy just two pairs of shoes, and because I got SUCH GREAT DEALS (the ebay ones were less than $20), I decided to pick, these up too. Not in black. For someone who feared brown shoes since I grew out of my Buster Browns, I think I'm being pretty fearless, no? I think these could be totally cute with jeans.

($42.99, Dr. Scholl's, Overstock.com)
I also searched for "overstock coupons" online and got free shipping. Yay, me!

Since I'm already on a preppy shoes kick, these are also quite cute and would be great for summer, no?

($70, Steve Madden, piperlime.com)

Ok, here's what else I found on my online journey:


MORE GREY BOOTS, PLEASE!

($69 USD, Poste Mistress, Office.co.uk)
Mmm! Delicious grey suede!

EVEN MORE GREY BOOTS!

($110, Report, Macys.com)

These could actually be pretty cool, especially since I'm seeing lotsa mod/sporto stuff for the spring:

($18.99, Delicious, CutesyShoes.com)

Yay! Lovely:

($51.60, Seychelles, Winknyc.com)
But only in limited sizes = boo.

For some reason, I like these:

($62, BC, lafemmeboutique.com)
But I've been around long enough to know that they might be better in theory than practice. Sigh.

Same goes for these:

($249, Kenneth Cole, jmarco.com)
Now, I think they're cool, but I got a "you're out of your goddamned mind" from ONE CERTAIN BLOGGER and "I feel like I don't even know you" from a NOW-ENEMY when I shared my sentiments. I like 'em, but what do I know? I'm just your motha! Hmph!

These could be super cheap looking in real life, but for 10 bucks, who cares?

($9.99, Wild Diva -- horbs name, I know -- CutesyShoes.com)
Woah. Are you still reading this? You're the best!

Do I need these? No. Do I like 'em? Of course.

($85, Adidas, Urbanoutfitters.com)

These shoes rule:

($189.99, Bettye Muller, Amazon)

These shoes suck:

($454 USD - !!!! - Acne Jeans, Brownsfashions.com)
So awful, but you just KNOW you're gonna see Sienna or Jessica Simpson in them in like a week. Still, it's NO excuse.

And, finally, speaking of footwear sin, I leave you with these:

($19.75, Chinese Laundry, plasticlandclothing.com)

Ok, I'm finally done. Bon voyage!