Anna Sui Nightmare FitFlop Ugg Mash-Up Thing

($195, Anna Sui, Shopintuition.com)

I don't know what's more horrifying -- the fact that Anna Sui actually had a hand in these FitFlop Ugg-alike "Shakoha" boot creatures, or that some of them ARE ACTUALLY SOLD OUT. They're almost as scary as "Hot Flops."

Fall Footwear Trend: No Toe!

Is it going to be absolutely impossible this fall to find a pair of shoes that have actually managed to escape the drawing board with their toes intact? Peeptoes have moved from sandals to pumps to boots and Oxfords to like EVERY SHOE EVER, and I'm not all that sure I'm feeling that. Observe:

($175, Corso Como, Piperlime)

Why? I just don't get it! Is it that hard to go the extra 1.5 inches and cover the toe? You're not gonna be wearing these in 90 degree weather!

($405, Claudia Ciuti, Shopbop)

Why? What? NO!

($59, Steve Madden)

So tacky, Jackie!

($109, BCBGirls, Nordstrom)

These wold be totally otherwise cute(sy-ish), but again, WHY the no toe!?!?!?

($99, Nine West)

I actually like these, because they have a sort-of cool vintage look and don't just look like an otherwise regular pair of contemporary shoes that happened to get their toes sliced off. And I love the heels.

($110, Jeffrey Campbell, Shopintuition.com)

Like these for the same reason.

(Apprx $83, Topshop)

These, however? WAY too much going on here.

($96, Jeffrey Campbell, Nordstrom)

Of course, not as what's going on here. (What the FUCK IS going on here!?!?)

($249, Pour la Victoire, Nordstrom)

Oh my Lawd Gawd. They're not inexplicably open-toed, but there's still no excuse. Soooo New Jack Swing-era. Gah.

Remember: random peeptoe = just say NO!

Leggings Have Basically Officially Jumped the Shark

Can you count the number of things wrong with this promotional photo?

No, because you need a computer to count to infinity gazillion.

I really sort of almost wish not that Whitney Houston was still a crackhead (because I luuuuurves me some Whitney, and I'm really glad she's almost back to fully being Every Woman), but maybe just that the popularity of her reality show and this post could've been a bit more synchronicitous so it'd be funnier when I react to *Intuition's denim and tie-dye leggings with a resounding

OHHH HELLLLLLLLLLS TO THE NO!

And while we're here, we may as well get a closer look at the travesty:

($35, ShopIntuition.com)

Soooo Peg Bundy, and not in the funny ironic way. And I love the description: These deluxe faux-denim leggings are so street chic." Okay, first of all, "deluxe" and "faux-denim" = oxy moron, for there is NOTHING deluxe about faux-denim leggings or faux-denim ANYTHING for that matter. And these are "street chic" if -- and only if -- you're working the street.

($35, ShopIntuition.com)

Hopefully Jerry Garcia's grave is spacious enough to accommodate him as the poor guy rolls over a few times in rapid succession.


* Special thanks to Chicago JP for alerting me to this most heinous fashion morts.

Jeweled Clutches!

Ay mami! I've been sitting on this topic for so long my ass hurts. No excuses! Post time! So many jeweled clutches, so few occassions to use a jeweled clutch!

Let's start with the completely unattainable ones, shall we?

($1890, Devi Kroell, Net-a-Porter.com)

Amazing. Too bad Devi Kroell didn't feature any of these in her Target collection.

($2,495, Leiber, Neiman Marcus)

A piece of art, I tell you! Sadly, just a few thou outta my tax bracket.

($580, Burberry, Net-a-Porter.com)

Oh mah stars. Love the geometrical designzorz.



($1255, Burberry)

Ah... Burberry. You tease, you! So close yet so far away.

($98, Steve Madden, Macys)

Oh Steve Madden. You make lovin' fun!

($57, Monsoon.co.uk)

Not bad atall. I like the different jewel types.

($28, Lulus)

Super cute, and I love the zipper pocket on the back! Lulus done does it again!

($45, Shopintuition.com)

Easy peasy! Love the purple one.

($38 Buy It Now, eBay)

OMG. LOVE. Need. Might... buy. But I already have a green clutch. But can you EVER have enough green clutches, I ask?

($133, Dazeddorothy.co.uk)

I can't decide if this is cute or a mini trainwreck... like, not a complete wreck, but more of a derailment.

($55, Betsey Johnson, Amazon)

I've blogged about this before, and now I'm blogging 'bout it again because I still want it. Wah!

($33, Asos.com)

Love love love. And no, it's not jeweled -- technically it's "plated," -- but it's close enough.

($68, Shopsueyboutique.com)

No, it's not a clutch, but it is jeweled, and it IS ridiculous, and I DO love it.

All I Wanna Do Is Just A-Voom Voom Voom

Usually I don't consider Jennifer Boobs Hewitt to be an arbiter of cutting-edge style. Nor Guilana DiPandi for that matter. But... they're both on the money with their endorsement of adorbs Voom dresses by designer Joy Han.

Here. Let me sprinkle some cuteness on you:

($178, Voom, Blondette.com)
I will dream of this dress for a fortnight.



($258, Voom, Blondette.com)
LOVE these colors, and you KNOW big pockets are in, y'all.



($169, Voom, HarmonyLane.com)
I went back and forth on this for a few seconds, but then I confirmed my own suspicions: this is fucking a.dor.ablay. And the owl pins are detachable (for all you haters or hunters out there).



($174, Voom, Voomonline.com)
Jury's out on this one, but the wooden elephant is so delightfully '70s that I can barely think straight. Also, here's the same dress for a wee bit less.


($130, Voom, Coco-Delilah.com)
Beautiful AND on sale. Note: Attempt to "winterize" this piece with boots and dark tights = horbs.



($238, Voom, Shopintuition.com)
This is lovely in theory, but we need not express our nautical affinities so loudly. It's just a little too "He's-in-the-army-now-red-lipstick-open-mouth-wink-wink-y" to me.



($196, Voom, Voomonline.com)
Of course you gotta take the good with the bad, and this is defintely bad. It's like an Anakin Skywalker Does Denim situation or something. Pass!

You can check out more of the Voom collections here. I like the Fall stuff and her use of darker colors better than the warm weather stuff. And, here's lots more Voom stuff on sale at The Red Lemon Store.


Now that I ostensibly still have your attention, here are some cute flats, on sale! Yay!

($49, J.Lo, SmartBargains.com)
Oddly cute!! Might have to lift my J.Lo = J.No embargo!



($49, Kenneth Cole Reaction, SmartBargains.com)
Kenneth Cole pulls off bronze metallic without the horbs tackiness! Hooootyhoooo!