The Best Shit I Bought, Wore, Did, Ate, Etc In 2012

Okay. Yay, happy 2013! Given that I have more than enough running observations, statistics, judgements, trivial/ triflin' concerns, condemnation, ambitions, thoughts about cats, musings and mumblings going through my brain in just the time it took me to type this sentence, I'm therefore not usually prone to public reflection, review, or navel gazings, such as the year-in-review-style posts that fill up my Facebook feed at the end of December/ beginning of January. I'm not trying to hate. It's just generally not my thing. But, like, if I'm going to reach back into the bowels of 2012 and extract a common theme of the year, then YOLO: Why not take a minute to look back at the year that was (and all of the shit I bought), and raise a glass to 2012?

All joking and unicorn heels aside, one of my daily goals is to always remain fully aware and appreciative of my countless blessings, from having a loving relationship, friends so incredible that I sometimes feel like I should pay them for the privilege, and living in a city I love in a place I'm happy to call to home, to the little things that aren't little at all, when you take a step back and really, profoundly consider them -- just waking up in the morning, and having a healthy body and healthy mind. Truly, in the midst of the daily grind of flying out the door, rushing to work, being annoyed by the 47 billionity thousand trillion things that can annoy you on the ride to work, it's a privilege and a gift -- even on a bad day -- just to get out of bed every morning and stretch out four limbs that can carry me anywhere. Those things alone are truly more that some people can say they have. I don't care if that sounds emo. Sure, 2013 had some crap moments. Every year does. But I got to spend another year on Earth (thanks, Mayans!), and given the alternative, I'll take it.

Okay. So, let's talk shopping and other superficial stuff!

+ Best thing I bought in 2012: My Chris Habana Nostradamus necklace: I stopped into American Two Shot -- FINALLY -- last month, looking for gifts for my sister. A few hundred bucks later I walked out with this Chris Habana necklace for myself, and a pizza iPhone case for my sister. I am a TERRIBLE person. But I LOVE this piece probably way more than any healthy person should. This was my one really indulgent impulse buy of the year, and, in the words of Katy Perry, no regrets, just love.

+ Second-best thing I bought in 2012: Urban Outfitters BDG chambray button-down: Being a woman, ahem, cursed with a more than ample endowment, if you will (yes, I'm talking about the curse of the big-busted woman, but I'm trying to be discreet, because I am TOTALLY A LADY!), I truly believed I would NEVER own a decent button-down. But holy shit and Gloria in excelsis Deo! Urban Outfitters' chambray button-down came around and turned my world upside down because IT FITS, Y'ALL!

+ Third-best thing I bought in 2012: CW-X sports bra: DUDES. My CW-X sports bra changed EVERYTHING. Again, see above. If you're over like a C cup, sports bra issues can be THUH WORST. CW-X is by Wacoal, and they know what's UP. I found that the cup sizes aren't true to your real non-sports bra cup size, so the size I bought was smaller than my real size, but I don't care, because it fits like it's true to size. I can't remember what size I bought, and quite frankly, if you're that interested, then you're probably a real creeper, so fall back. But if you're not a creeper, try the CW-X VersatX Support Bra or the CW-X XTempo from Paragon or ShoeBuy.com. Zappos carries some, too. You might have to shop around a bit to find the right size and fit, but it's worth it. Trust. Seriously, after going to Lululemon and asking for a sports bra in my size and basically getting this from their "enlightened" employees:

... Finding CW-X sports bras was like a revolution.

(More favorite/ best things after the jump!)

Versace Yellow Diamonds, Rimmel Volume Flash Scandaleyes Mascara + More On 10 Things I Love Tuesday!

I'm kind of experiencing a real-life "Emma"/ "Clueless" situation. See, my BFF Laura is a phenomenal writer, mother, and human being. I've been bugging the shit out of her to start a mom blog for AGES, and she finally did it (probably just so I'd STFU). Anyway, speaking of bugs, she was bitten by the blog bug and is burnin' up, Madonna style, with a SERIOUS case of blogging fever over at Look What Mom Made. And I'm so happy because I'm not even a mommy/ kid sort, and her blog is so inspiring. Anyway, it's a classic case of the student becoming the MASTER, where she's Tai, and I'm Cher, because I love her "10 Things I Love Tuesday" list, so I'm promptly stealing it. Thanks, Laura!

Without further ado, here are 10 things (most beauty, I admit) I love on a TUESDAY.

1.) Versace "Yellow Diamond": I'm highly devoted to Versace's "Versace" fragrance, but I want to slather Versace "Yellow Diamond" all over my body (in a reasonable way). It's basically a lighter, brighter version of Versace Versace, with more citrusy notes but all of the sophisticated staying power. Put it on yourself NOW. "Yellow Diamond is $67 at Macy's, but if you like "Yellow Diamond" on Facebook you can get a free sample! HOW 'BOUT THAT, America?

2.) Rimmel Volume Flash Scandaleyes Mascara: This is kinda Rimmel's answer to Cover Girl's epic Lash Blast mascara. The main difference? Rimmel's has slightly more color payoff. It's best used as a final coat over a mascara that really defines -- like MAC's False Lashes. Rimmel Scandaleyes is like, I don't know. However many dollars. It's not much.

3.) Nars "Shrinagar" lipstick: Perfect wearable berry purple. I know I said all of that stuff about red lipstick, and I do love a good red, but lately purples have been doing it for me They bring out your lips' natural color but in a slightly exaggerated, not at all cartoonish way. "Shrinagar" is $24 and worth every penny.

 

4.) Cover Girl Color Blast Flipstick Lipcolor: Beware. Cover Girl's new two-in-one lipstick will stay on your lips FOREVER. I'm still wearing "Perky," and I put it on like, last Monday.

$7.99, Cover Girl, Target

5.) Soap & Glory Hand Food lotion: File under: British stuff I love, right next to "Downton Abbey." Impulse bought this while waiting in line at Sephora (IT WORKED, Sephora. You're welcome), and this is my new favorite lotion next to MOR. It lasts forEVER, softens, and has a secret ingredient: MARSHMALLOW! Bonus: Adorable packaging.

$5, Soap & Glory, Sephora

Mascara Minute: Maybelline Volum' Express The Falsies

($7.49, Maybelline, CVS)

Okay, EYE LOVE this mascara. Get it? "Eye" instead of "I"? You get it. Anyway, if you think you can't find a decent mascara at the drugstore, you are sorely mistaken. And the great thing about drugstore mascara is if you buy it and don't love it, you're out like a couple bucks instead of, say, $22. Also, I'm in no way paid to endorse them, but they are my favorite drugstore (especially since there's one about 14 steps from my apartment), but I really love CVS because they'll let you return any and all beauty products if you tried something and you were like "meh." But you will SO not be "meh" about Maybelline Volum' Express The Falsies. It's got a rounded spoon brush that's made of fibers, not rubber (though I definitely LOVE a rubber brush), which separate and truly truly outrageously elongate your lashes, while the keratin formula makes your lashes look way more full. Of course, like any mascara in the entire universe, you need to apply a few coats -- The Falsies dries quickly, so apply fast. I like to do one entire eye -- curl, apply one coat starting from the base to the tips, doing that wiggly technique thing, and then apply a second coat to really bring them out. If The Falsies fails you it's because you have failed The Falsies. Oh yeah, since I don't do waterproof mascaras, I can't tell you how the waterproof version works. Only the "Very Black." There's a reason Maybelline's The Falsies has the letters "T," "F" and "M" in its name: it also stands for Tamar's Favorite Mascara.

(Disclosure: I was sent this product by PR.)

The Year In Beauty: These Are My Favorite Things, Part 3

Welcome back. And here we have part three of my and Beauty Blogging Junkie's Amber's favorite beauty products of 2010. I don't think my cat makes a cameo in this video, but you will see a lot of wine!

The products I love in this video include Topshop's big, fat Lip Crayon -- I truly thought I couldn't do a big, bright hot pink, but it works in Topshop's matte -- Urban Decay's spectacular Naked Palette, which is a celebrations of beachy browns and golds, Sulwahsoo Concentrated Ginsing Cream, which costs a small fortune but is worth every stress-inducing dollar you'd part with for insanely hydrated skin, Honore de Pres Va A New York perfume, which smells like the end of a long night out in New York, Burberry's Effortless Mascara, and Maybelline's Volum Express The Falsies mascara.

Amber's beauty BFFs are Stila Smudge Pot in Kitten, La Prairie Advanced Marine Biology Tonic, Juliette Has a Gun Fragrance Set (Lady Vengeance), Napoleon Perdis Lipstick in Calypso, La Prairie Anti Aging Eye Cream SPF 15 and Alterna Kendi Oil.

Again, my outfit ended up being an exercise in what NOT to wear on TV. But speaking of TV, I'm going to be on VH1's Top 40 Music Videos of 2010 Countdown show tonight, so hopefully I will be exonerated. And the lady who did my makeup did ELTON JOHN'S makeup for years. No, she did not make me look like Elton. Oh well. There's always next year.

($44, Urban Decay)

The Year In Beauty: These Are My Favorite Things, Part 1!

Happy between-Chanukkah-and-Christmas time!
Beauty Blogging Junkie's Amber and I got together, pooled our favorite lip glosses, hair goops and mascara wands, opened a bottle of red wine, and made a couple of videos of us discussing our favorite beauty products of 2010.

I learned a lot from doing these videos! I learned that while my outfit looked adorable in person, it came off as positively uncute on camera. I wore a high-waisted circle skirt whilst SEATED ON MY SMOOSHY COUCH! I look like I was born without a waist. Ugh. Live and learn, people. I learned that making videos is insanely time-consuming, and while I already respected bloggers who regularly devote their time to making their own videos, I now pretty much think they're Jesus. And I learned that Windows Movie Maker was put on this planet to destroy me.

Anyway, hope you like it! There are more where this came from!




And check out my Naag.com review of MAC's Haute & Naughty Lash
and C.O. Bigelow Protein-Enriched Conditioner for Dry & Damaged Hair. Amber hyped up Tokyomilk Bon Bon Shea Butter Hand Cream and Panthera Ultraflesh Mascara, which is SHAPED LIKE A PANTHER. I got excited about that, you'll notice.Who even cares how it works when it looks like that?

A Bunch of Naag.com Beauty Pieces!

(Image by the incredible Designed Memory)

Remember how I told you I'm writing about beauty for Naag.com? Well here are a bunch of beauty pieces I wrote in which I, of all people, tell YOU how to look better, whether or not you need to.

+ MAC's phenomenal Haute & Naughty mascara: Its packaging is totally Barbie And The Rockers, and it gives you RuPaul lashes. I think I've said enough.

+ Mistral soaps: Heaven-scent (GET IT?) handmade French soaps thick as bricks, and they last forever.

+ Fresh Pomegranate Conditioner: My favorite conditioner of all time. It comes with the story of how I klepto'ed them from the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.

+ Too Faced Aqua Bunny Bronzer: It's so not Snooki.

Demi Moore Freaks Out Over Mascara, Meanwhile Rachel Zoe Is A Fucking Walking Skeleton In A Wig

Look, Demi Moore seems like a really nice lady, and I will say that Rachel Zoe is talented with a dress and a pair of heels. But at what point do you look at yourself in the mirror and admit that you look like a skeleton in a wig? Because she does. She makes me wanna straight-up shove her head into a pizza and not let go until she's eaten at least four pieces. I don't care how long it takes. I'M OBESSSSSSSSSED with how ill she looks. And listen, I'm all about loving your body and body types, and all of that, but there's a difference between being naturally thin and sick. And I love fun beauty products and silly packaging as much as the next girl. But you don't die over awesome mascara. No seriously you die, like, from not eating food. (Also, mascara is not food.)

Binge Beauty: Thank You, Bobbi Brown. For Your Perfectly Defined Mascara Miracle

($22, Bobbi Brown)

Right now, I think my feelings for Bobbi Brown's new Perfectly Defined Mascara would best be described by Alanis Morissette's "Thank U." I have never been to India nor walked the streets naked, but I have tried some pretty shit-tay mascaras before.

So,

THANK you, Imju Fiberwig, for BLOWING and NOT giving me good fake lashes.
THANK YOU Dior Show, for being an overpriced, clumpy piece of crap.
THANK YOU Benefit's BadGal for crapping out on me and ALWAYS smudging.
THANK YOUUUUUUUUUHOOOOHHHH Maybelline's Great Lash for being the least-great mascara of all time.

No, thank YOU Bobbi Brown. Perfectly Defining Mascara is a little tricky to get the hang of, but now that I've learned to apply slowly, steadily, and -- here's the silver beauty bullet -- on top of a few healthy coats of Cover Girl's Lash Blast ("Ol' Orange," as I like to call her) -- my lashes are A MIRACLE of smudge-free, easy-off, black-as-the-night modern mascara. WONDER OF WONDERS! A MIRACLE!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Bobbi Brown... Thank you.

Thank U-Alanis Morrissette @ Yahoo! Video

Binge Beauty Buy: Rimmel Sexy Curves Mascara

Rimmel's newest mascara, Sexy Curves, has a wand that looks like a sex toy (OR AT LEAST I'VE HEARD THAT THAT'S WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE ON TV), and while I think you're a straight fool if you don't curl your lashes first before applying mascara, the product, much like sex toys, does a good job of, um, hitting those spots other products don't. Despite its claims, Rimmel Sexy Curves doesn't plump lashes (or at least not mine), but it definitely does a good job of lenghtening, lifting and separating, if you will, so I'd recommend it as a base before you use other thicker mascaras out there, like Napoleon Perdis' Madame Curl Curl.

+ Pick up Rimmel Sexy Curves at CVS and Target.

The Scoop On Barbie Loves Stila!

Barbie Loves Stila is the holy trinity of cute packaging, nostalgic licensing, and a good deal on beauty products. JACKPOTx3! The limited-edition collection launches in February at Sephora in honor of Babs' 50th birthday.

The collection includes four $40 "Decades of Beauty" paint cans, which come with a compact with two eyeshadows and a cheek color, mascara, lipgloss, and a lookbook, and feature four different dolls --- Ponytail Doll, for the very first Barbie in 1959; Malibu Barbie, from 1971 (my favorite because she looks a little like "Dazed & Confused" Barbie); Foxy Doll, in honor of the first Black doll released in 1980 (little late to the party there, Mattel? I'm pretty sure Black people were around a little before 1980); and 2000's Jewel Doll, who looks like old-school Britney.

Also part of the collection: a Barbie talking eye palette style. The Barbie for Stila products will also be used to Barbie-fy the models in the Barbie fashion show happening at New York Fashion Week in Febs.


+ Preorder Barbie Loves Stila products here.
Malibu Doll (1971): Malibu Lip Glaze (a pale pink), Lash Visor Mascara in Black, a compact with two eye shadows and a bronzer, Look Book.



Ponytail Doll (1959): Ponytail Lip Color (a red shade), Liquid Eye Liner, a compact with two eye shadows and a cheek color, Look Book.


Foxy Doll (1980): Foxy Lip Glaze, Lash Visor Mascara, a compact with two eyeshadows and a cheek color, Look Book.

Jewel Doll (2000): Jewel Lip Glaze (a bright pink), Multi-Effect Mascara, a compact with two eye shadows and a cheek color, Look Book.

Win A Napoleon Perdis Angel Baby Kit!

Remember how I was/ is/ and always will be FREAKING out about Napoleon Perdis' Madame Curl Curl mascara? Wellsies, here's a chance for you to get some Napoleon Perdis mascara AND some other cute stuff!

Now WHO wants a seriously cute, completely handy Napoleon Perdis Angel Baby Kit? One at a time, ladies!

I've got ONE kit to give to ONE lucky winner.

Enter to win between Wednesday, November 18 - 26, and you could making yourself even prettier with the Angel Baby kit, which contains everything you see above, including:

+ A mini lip pencil in Camero
+ A mini eye pencil in Chocolate Mousse
+ Eyeshadow Quad
+ Long Black mascara

All you have to do is enter below and tell me what you plan to do with these prettifying tools once you get aholds of 'ems.

(The kit doesn't come with a bag, but check out some cute LeSportsac picks here.)

Good night, and GOOD LUCK!

Go Go Gadget Glam Eyes: Rimmel Glam Eyes Mascara

I feel a bit Oprah-giving-away-new-cars about Rimmel's Glam' Eyes mascara. Shit. Works. WELL. The pliant brush does its job, and after a few coats, it hits every lash and lengthens and volumizes. And, like I said, after a few coats, you've got decent volume. Not the most extreme volume ever, like with the Napoleon Perdis Madame Curl Curl mascara I'd be buried with if I could request such things ahead of time, but it definitely does the job in a pinch. And I like the high-end, low-rent packaging. Great for a drugstore product since it looks like Too Faced but at half the price -- it's $7.25. By the way, after a cursory search, I could only find this for purchase on Asos.com, but Rimmel's also sold at CVS, Target and Walgreens. Yay.

Napoleon Perdis Peep Show Madame Curl Curl: No Other Mascara Will Ever Touch My Lashes Again

($25, Napoleon Perdis)

Run, don't walk, put your money where you mouse is, and buy this Australian mascara THIS INSTANT. Right this VERY instant. No. Not when you're done reading this post or through checking Jezebel. NOW. This instant. This is, wands down, the best mascara I've ever used, and I've tried a LOT of them, my friends. It goes on very wet and thick, and it's instantly visible. For reals, I've gotten compliments on my lashes, without even fishing for them. It's like it KNOWS me. You need this stuff. Worlds better than Benefit's Bad Gal or the tons of other junk-ass mascara I've blogged about, though I do still love Cover Girl's Lash Blash and would use it again in a pinch. But why, when I've got my Madame Curl Curl! Yay, me, and yay you if you get this stuff!

More on Napoleon Perdis -- he's a celebrity make-up artist dude, and he has a ton of stores in Australia, which does me little good. But, there are also 63 US locations that sell his miracle drugs (plus some concept stores in California but NONE in NYC! Booo!), and some Target and HSN collabos are slated to launch soon as well as a reality show on TLC, though I can't confirm that. You can also stock up at Sephora and Dermstore.com. Tell 'em Tamron sent ya!

** UPDATE: Grayburn, you're right -- I basically just shot my load all over this product without explaining WHY it's awesome. It basically goes on like a cross between Sharpie and Sherwin Williams, which is to say it's got the drama of permanent black marker with the wetness of paint. The curved brush also gets it all up in all your lashes (I do have to do the turn-and-edge thing, which is fine), and just a coat or two gits r done. MIRACLE OF MIRACLES! Seriously, this is the REAL DEAL EVANDER HOLYFIELD of mascaras. The ONLY issue I have is that it can be a little messy -- I definitely need to call upon my friend, Signor Q-Tip, to clean up a little on my upper lids when I'm done, but that could be the overzealousness with which I am applying. Like, seriously, remember when you were little and your mom bought sugar cereal and you were SO excited to go to sleep because when you woke up you knew you were gonna get to eat it? THAT's how I feel now about my mornings and putting on this mascara. (Unless I'm hung ovah.)

ALSO, apparently the products are no longer gonna be available at Sephora and are instead going to be at Ulta, and the Target NP SET is going to launch later this month. Yay!

Flirt Mascara: Hello, Old Friend!

Beauty Blogging Junkie's Amber, who I've hung out with, and I assure you, she is, indeed PHENOM IRL, completely reminded me -- because I somehow totally forgot -- that I used to LOVE Kohl's Flirt "Far Out" lengthening mascara:

($11.50, Flirt!, Kohl's)

The bald wand is so creepy-cool, right? And seriously, while it looks defecto, it does its job like a little effin' champ. It lengthens better than a measuring tape. A good lengthening primer to help lift and separate, if you will.

($10, Flirt, Kohl's)

Thinking I'd ordered the "Far Out" (heh! I accidentally typed "fart!") I ordered the "Big Flirt" mascara instead. Definitely does the job and didn't sell me down a river like Dior's Diorshow or shit the bed like Urban Decay's Big Fatty Mascara. AND AND AND you can buy both Big Flirt and Far Out for the price of one (useless) Diorshow. Do it!

A Tale of Two, If Not Sometimes Three, Mascaras

While MKHo may not be a beauty blogger, I am a little bit of one myself. Therefore, please enjoy a completely overlong post about one of my all-time favorite beauty products, mascara! Wee!

The other day, I was celebrating the fact that it was like 7p.m. on a Tuesday or something equally as irrelevant, and I impulsively decided I REALLY DESERVED to buy myself something. (Un-)fortunately I work about 30 seconds from a Sephora.

Due to the fact that, like a magpie, I am attracted to any and all forms of shiny packaging, I swooped down on Urban Decay's Big Fatty Mascara:

($19, Urban Decay)

The wand is basically the size of a fucking toilet bowl brush. Unfortunately, this mascara completely sucks. Nothing showed up at all. I even thought I'd perhaps gotten a faulty, dried-up one. I read a review somewhere that said this mascara is good for "the natural look," and I can only imagine that refers to the look of WEARING NO MASCARA AT ALL. I took advantage of Sephora's open-arms exchange policy -- you can return anything if you're not completely satisfied, which I wasn't. So I did!

In its stead, I got Diorshow:

($24, Dior, Macys)

Ah, the redoubted Diorshow. I was sooooo ready to believe the hype. And the first few tests, it was okay (maybe I just REALLY wanted to believe) -- it definitely lengthens -- but after a few repeated uses, BOOOO Dior! WTF? J'clump!!! Definitely a lot of thick coverage, but zero separation -- it did that thing where it made major clumps at the center of my lashes and then made them look stringy-string-McStrung-out at the tips. Boo for reals.

Oh, and before I forget:
+ Free shipping over $25 at Sephora with promo code B388C2, through April 30.
+ Also, did you know you can return any and all beauty products to CVS if you're not feelin' it? It's true!

Anyway, back to the mascara:
... So, just yesterday, my sister came to visit. Every time we see each other after having not seen each other for months, we first act a'fool about how much we wuv each other. Then, we go into giddy-overdrive mode over mascara. She reminded me how much she loves CoverGirl's Lash Blash (the one that looks like a small orange sex toy), and I was so glad she did:

($6.79, CoverGirl, CVS)

Huge, right? But even more importantly, hugely effective. It's perfect on its own (after a few coats of course -- please stop kidding yourself if you think any one mascara can do it all in just one coat. Do you give your walls JUST ONE coat of paint? No. Unless you're a crappy slacker.) or as a base -- I'd also completely forgotten my own trick -- find a great separating mascara, use it as a base to hit as many individual hairs as possible that the slightly clumpier mascaras can't deal with, and then layer with a bolder mascara over that. Yeah, it's a little extra time, but so is dealing with those crappy lash brushes which never really end up working.

But, you don't have to take my word for it -- some Lash Blash reviews:
+ Makeup Alley
+ Makeup Moxie
+ Makeup Minute
+ The Makeup Girl <---- impressive before and after photo!

I also remembered how much I like MAC's Zoom Lash mascara: ($11, MAC)

A VERY thick (think mud) mascara. For $11, t'aint (hee) bad, but I don't advise it on its own -- instead, use it as a top coat over a solid separating mascara like Maybelline's Define-A-Lash, which is the Bentley Continental GT of separating but the mid-to-late '80s LeBaron of volumizing:



PS: Non-sequitur, yes, and I know I'm like the 23rd person to tell you this today, but Muxtape is awesome.
MU

Beauty Buys That Blow!

Styledash has the 12 beauty products that basically suck, according to TotalBeauty.com.

The funny thing is, I actually use about four of them. Here's their take versus mine, which is obviously far superior, because it is.


Smashbox Lip-Enhancing Gloss
Their beef: "Color only lasts through a half-hour commute, and it's hard to ignore the plastic aroma and grainy texture while you're wearing it."
My take: I agree that it doesn't last long, but I have their True Color gloss in Protege, and it's a perfect non-megawatt simple neutral gloss for daywear. And I disagree about any funky texture or smell of yuk.


Revlon Tourmaline Ionic 1875 Watt Hairdryer
Their beef: "... don't let buzz words like 'ionic' and 'ceramic' seduce you into buying it. Bad design and bogus claims had me ready to go back to the louder, heavier Elchim 1800. Despite having multiple settings, this dryer's heat was too intense and its frizz-fighting 'Ion Select Dial' futile."
My take: I agree that there's not much super ionic or tourmalinic (???) about this dryer, but it absolutely fights frizzos (and I should know), and it gets lotsa points for its lack of jet-engine-blast volume. And hello -- it's $35. Perf.


Redken All Soft Gold Glimmer Perfecting Shine Treatment
Their beef: "'Shine treatment' brings a serum texture to mind, but this was a thicker, gel-like goo infused with golden flecks. When sparingly applied from hair ends to mid-shaft, you can expect to get some separation and added texture -- which is odd because it's meant to soften and add shine to hair. (It didn't.)
My take: WTF? I absolutely adore this product. It's a frizz-fighting WEAPON OF FUCKING MASS DESTRUCTION! And it adds an overwhelming amount of shine with a minimal amount of gooey goopiness. The only thing I agree with here is yes, it does smell like a tropical isle. Which rules.


Maybelline New York Define-A-Lash Washable Lengthening Mascara
Their beef: "A mascara that promises "zero clumps" with "stunning length" and "clean definition" at this price sounds too good to be true -- and it is. The reason it doesn't clump? The formula is so thin, you'll need at least two coats to get decent lash definition. Then it starts clumping."
My take: Um, did we use the same product? Yes, this is a VERY thin mascara -- I'll give them that. And you need to use about four coats, not two. BUT, it's an indispensable tool for lengthening, lifting and separating. It's the Wonderbra of mascaras, if you will. I use it as a base and then add a thicker mascara on top of it for maximum effectage. Next to Maybelline's sub par, super-overhyped Great Lash mascara, this thing Speaking of thickening mascara -- I used to use Benefit's Bad Gal mascara, which nearly gives you Tammy Faye Baker eyes, in an awesome way, until my sister and I both concluded -- it ends up migrating from your eyelashes to your undereyes by COB, no matter what. Boo. So now I'm kind of back on the market as far as thickening mascaras go.


Anyway, tell us which beauty products you love/hate/feel indifference/ blind rage toward.