Okay. Yay, happy 2013! Given that I have more than enough running observations, statistics, judgements, trivial/ triflin' concerns, condemnation, ambitions, thoughts about cats, musings and mumblings going through my brain in just the time it took me to type this sentence, I'm therefore not usually prone to public reflection, review, or navel gazings, such as the year-in-review-style posts that fill up my Facebook feed at the end of December/ beginning of January. I'm not trying to hate. It's just generally not my thing. But, like, if I'm going to reach back into the bowels of 2012 and extract a common theme of the year, then YOLO: Why not take a minute to look back at the year that was (and all of the shit I bought), and raise a glass to 2012? All joking and unicorn heels aside, one of my daily goals is to always remain fully aware and appreciative of my countless blessings, from having a loving relationship, friends so incredible that I sometimes feel like I should pay them for the privilege, and living in a city I love in a place I'm happy to call to home, to the little things that aren't little at all, when you take a step back and really, profoundly consider them -- just waking up in the morning, and having a healthy body and healthy mind. Truly, in the midst of the daily grind of flying out the door, rushing to work, being annoyed by the 47 billionity thousand trillion things that can annoy you on the ride to work, it's a privilege and a gift -- even on a bad day -- just to get out of bed every morning and stretch out four limbs that can carry me anywhere. Those things alone are truly more that some people can say they have. I don't care if that sounds emo. Sure, 2013 had some crap moments. Every year does. But I got to spend another year on Earth (thanks, Mayans!), and given the alternative, I'll take it. Okay. So, let's talk shopping and other superficial stuff!
+ Best thing I bought in 2012: My Chris Habana Nostradamus necklace: I stopped into American Two Shot -- FINALLY -- last month, looking for gifts for my sister. A few hundred bucks later I walked out with this Chris Habana necklace for myself, and a pizza iPhone case for my sister. I am a TERRIBLE person. But I LOVE this piece probably way more than any healthy person should. This was my one really indulgent impulse buy of the year, and, in the words of Katy Perry, no regrets, just love.
+ Second-best thing I bought in 2012: Urban Outfitters BDG chambray button-down: Being a woman, ahem, cursed with a more than ample endowment, if you will (yes, I'm talking about the curse of the big-busted woman, but I'm trying to be discreet, because I am TOTALLY A LADY!), I truly believed I would NEVER own a decent button-down. But holy shit and Gloria in excelsis Deo! Urban Outfitters' chambray button-down came around and turned my world upside down because IT FITS, Y'ALL!
+ Third-best thing I bought in 2012: CW-X sports bra: DUDES. My CW-X sports bra changed EVERYTHING. Again, see above. If you're over like a C cup, sports bra issues can be THUH WORST. CW-X is by Wacoal, and they know what's UP. I found that the cup sizes aren't true to your real non-sports bra cup size, so the size I bought was smaller than my real size, but I don't care, because it fits like it's true to size. I can't remember what size I bought, and quite frankly, if you're that interested, then you're probably a real creeper, so fall back. But if you're not a creeper, try the CW-X VersatX Support Bra or the CW-X XTempo from Paragon or ShoeBuy.com. Zappos carries some, too. You might have to shop around a bit to find the right size and fit, but it's worth it. Trust. Seriously, after going to Lululemon and asking for a sports bra in my size and basically getting this from their "enlightened" employees:
... Finding CW-X sports bras was like a revolution. (More favorite/ best things after the jump!)
You guys. I'm a simple woman with simple needs: quite simply, I need a LOT of shoes. Fortunately, I don't have expensive taste in shoes. They just have to be cute and possibly even a little absurd. As you can imagine, this has manifested itself in a problem that enjoys overwhelming volume but an alarming lack of consistency: since I rarely spend over $100 on a pair of shoes (a lot of my shoes are barely $50), I've amassed a huge shoe collection that makes about as much sense as your typical Lady Gaga video -- fun to look at it, but let's not kid ourselves. Like the "Born This Way" video, if you looked at my entire shoe collection, you'd leave like "well, that was kinda cool to look at for a few minutes but... I don't get it. Which is how I found myself in my living room tonight, surrounded by the four pairs of totally dissimilar shoes featured above.
Let's go from left to right.
1.) ASOS Superstar Tapestry Heels ($78.57): Dudes. These are FLORAL TAPESTRY heels with A GOLD STUDDED TOE. It's the mullet of shoes. Party in the toe... business in the back? Eh? Anyway, they're increds. Except I DO call bullshit since they were on sale when I bought them and now they're mysteriously not on sale. Ahhhh capitalism, you crazy scoundrel you!
2.) Jeffrey Campbell Downtown booties (no longer available): I bought these on a trip to Need Supply when I was visiting my sister in Richmond last year. Real quick: hat tip to Need Supply. They're like an indie Urban Outfitters, except they don't steal people's designs. Anyway, they were on sale for $49 from $130. That's called usin' your noodle. OH, and they're SO comfortable. I walked about a MILE out of my way lost en route to a VH1 taping yesterday, so I learned this the hard way. (The hard way that comes from not giving a shit about reading maps!) Seriously, these shoes are like crack. Or Pinkberry. Straight men fall out of their cubicles to ask me about them. My only regret is not buying the orange ones when I had the chance. Man, hindsight. She's such the little fucker!
3.) Matisse Nugent booties ($193) : The nice people who do Matisse's PR reached out and sent me these, and the second I opened the box and took in the holy sight that is their Nugent bootie, this was pretty much my reaction:
Like Cup Stacking Girl, I too achieved something great! SHOE NIRVANA (shirvana?) These booties aren't just ANIMAL print. They're DALMATIAN print. (Not real dalmatians, obviously! They're IMITATION DALMATIAN. From the NATION of faux DALMATIAN.) And they're so perfectly '70s Marc Bolan shaped, which is what I really want in a bootie, you know? Intensely, almost preternaturally perfect. These booties are the Ryan Gosling of footwear. Like HOW could anything be that perfect?
These glittery turquoise Maryjane stilettos are no Miu Miu glitter booties, but they're also not $900. Also, hat tip to the little peekaboo snakeskin print on the sole.
+ How to wear them: Colorblock with an orange or purple silky blouse, grey or black skinny jeans or a black maxi skirt.
Camp is great. You were right! I ended up making friends. I'll be ready to come home once summer's over I think though.
I have to tell you something though. I decided to start wearing see-through dresses (with a bra, of course). I won't wear it to Hebrew school, but everywhere else is fair game.
I don't know who I think I am, but apparently I'm the kind of person who somehow, suddenly looks at Prada bags. Generally I write off Prada bags a.) because I can't afford them, DUHR, and b.) because I associate them with those terrible nylon black backpacks which are just the worst. But somehow I'm all into the idea of Prada's leopard-print Cavallino bowler.
I love an adventurous outfit, but have these leopard-print harem pants crossed the line from adventurous to crazy? Like Real Housewives table-flipping levels of nuts? Also, as much as I wanna make harem pants "work," I'm becoming increasingly convinced that they barely even look good on models whose body types are "pencil."
Finally, this IS FashionBinge, where we do love a good deal, so far it be from me to leave you without something affordable. I mean, this Walmart leopard-print bag isn't the absolute worst. I'd carry it to the gym. Seriously, just tell people it's vintage deadstock, and they'll be all "ooh!"
I am committing so many sins just by staring at this black studded swing trench. Ugh.
BEE TEE DUBS! I CAN'T BELIEVE I forgot to tell you that I got a camel-colored studded trench coat from Topshop. It looks like this but it's CAMEL, got it? It was originally $400 something, which is outlandish, but I got it on sale for $200. Still kind of pricey considering it isn't made marvelously, but I'll be wearing on the daily. Huzzah for fall!
OHHHh studded black booties with cone heel! You were MADE in my image, were you not? I CAN'T though. I CAN'T. Super pointy cone heels are NEVER comfy. And $300 is reeedamndick. Hi. Welcome to the dialogue of my internal conflict.
What I'm trying to say is, check out 10 really cute jumpers that flatter lots of body types (also, can I just say, I HATE the term "bodycon." It's dumb. Please stop saying it) AND cost less than $100! Also, why do they call them jumpers? Playsuits? Whatever. I just wanna spend all of the days between now and October laying around in airconditioning and wishing I lived in John Ritter's apartment in Three's Company.
WhoWhatWear be damned! (You too, PopSense -- though I just discovered you guys, and you dudes seem cool.) The only positive things I could say about these wet-look harem pants are:
a.) If you suffer the misfortune of unpredictable bowels but are simultaneously "lucky" enough to have stank-free feces, it'll take a while before anyone notices you've crapped yourself.
b.) If you're the Prez of the Hammer fan club, you're all set.
I continue to adore these feathery treasures derived, inspired and sometimes taken directly from the lovely peacock -- and even a few from pheasants! Read on, won't you?
Oh Hayden-Harnett. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. This ikat print dress isn't peacocky per se, but the colors are right there. And looooooky close -- leather trim says "Why yes, I will make charming conversation with you at this cocktail party, but I will also swear like a cot-damt sailor once I get a few old fashioneds in me!"
The "Reese" sandal from Bakers is a leeeeetle much of a much, but I still really like 'em. I saw a girl wearing them and they're MUCH cuter "in action," if you will. Also, this COULD be the world's FIRST gladiator peacock sandal!!!
If it seems like I have a serious bone for Modcloth, it's because I do. And it's so hard to find undies that straddle the fine line between boyshorts and bikinis. These seem to do the trick!
This headpiece is made of PHEASANT feathers, which totally flips the script on peacock feathers, changes the game, and takes this shit to a whole new level, to use three cliches in ONE sentence. I don't know that I can pull off headpieces -- actually wait. I KNOW I can, I just basically lack the hairstyling skills. But if I DID have those skills, I THINK I could rock this. I'd love to buy it, but I also know my cat would probably discover it and rekill it. That dick. Anyway, check out the rest of Pluma's gorgeous handmade feather headbands. They're all pheasant (I think), and they're all quite reasonably priced for such prettiness.
Okay. I'm flying back from Vegas ANY minute now. I've survived nearly four hours and several crappy sandwiches. Gah! Can't wait to get back to the BK! And I DO NOT mean Burger King, people! (Though I would rip off someone's press-on nails right now for some Taco Bell.)
Asos attempts to redo Sarah Jessica Parker's Dior mesh heels for the masses. I think we've seen time and time again that just because SJ does doesn't mean we (or even she) should. And the wretched patent leather? Oy va voy. Just... no.
