Victoria's Secret's Version of J Brand's Houlihan's Skinny Cargos

($59.50, Victoria's Secret)

Everyone's been jumping on that J. Brand Houlihan skinny cargo bandwagon and hanging on for dear life. Here's Victoria's Secret's version, the London Jean. I love the olive shade (one of four colors), and the cool ankle zippers and the total lack of bagginess. Admittedly, I have no experience with Victoria's Secret clothing, but for $60, I'd be willing to give these cargos a go.

Lace Tees and Other Pretty Little Things

Why do I suddenly want a black lace T-shirt? Seriously, why? I have no clue what I'd wear it with. I'm not the Material Girl. Or even Rihanna. So why do I have this bizarre urge? I actually almost bought this today, and then came to my senses.*


Victoria's Secret scoop-neck lace tee, $19.99. I mean, what am I gonna wear that with? I have no idea. I think I got this bee in my bonnet after days of walking by my local American Apparel store, which I have privately (and now publicly!) vowed to boycott after years of being thoroughly disgusted with their ads. It hasn't really been tough to avoid stepping in there until recently...



...when I spied this cute lace top paired with a circle chambray skirt. American Apparel leaf flower lace tee, $38.

But: boycott. Instead: vintage!


Lace fringe scrimmage top, $28, from a cute new San Francisco–based vintage shop run by a couple of stylist/bloggers called American Apocalypse. I bought it: sorry kids!


Someone should definitely buy this Polka-dot two-piece, $100, though. It's not lace but it is RAD. Even radder if you chopped off the skirt.

*I did buy the following:


Square-neck top, $19.99.


Racerback snakeprint tank, $14.99.

Must. Stop. Shopping. And yet, on this fine summer Friday, I have set for myself a mission: hiking boots! Oh yes! We're going to Yosemite in August, and I need some appropriate footwear. Here's hoping I find something even mildly cute.

Skinny Cargo Pant Party

I'm a little late, but: Have you heard about these things? The pants that Bloomingdale's can't keep in stock and have sold 75,000 pairs of? I've definitely seen some ladies in these pants, and I have to say, they look damn good. (Check out the Sea of Shoes chick in them.)


J Brand Houlihans, $230.

But what's a girl who's morally and practically opposed to paying $230 for a pair of trendy pants, no matter how "very flattering" they are, to do?


Shhhh. Victoria's Secret has a similar pair on sale for about a tenth of the price. Skinny cargo pant in stretch twill, $29.99.

Or, if it's just too hot for your skinny ass out there, try a cargo skirt:


Silk cargo skirt, $19.99.

The Highs And Very Low Lows Of Cut-Out Heels

I'm truly not the biggest fan of cut-out shoes, especially when they're not sandals; the exception, however, would be Loeffler Randall's cut-out pumps, platforms, booties, and various iterations:

($575, Loeffler Randall, Active Endeavors)

These I can basically deal with. Loeffler Randall, they seem to know what they doing!

Therefore I was glad to see these far-more-affordable knock-knock-knock-offs at Victoria's Secret:

($150, Victoria's Secret)

At those prices, it's like two Loeffler Randalls for the price of one! And I really like the grey and black onesies. They're like the Herve Leger bandage dress of shoes!

($129, Michael Kors, Amazon)

Also okay!

($775, Chloe, Intermix)

Lurves the heel detailing, but OY VA VOY, too much patent. Heidi Montag also favors these, so that'll tell you something right there:


More bad cut-out heels and shoes:

(Giuseppe Zanotti, Intermix)

More like Giuseppe Za-not-ti. OH SHIT! Like something Christina Aguilera picked up at J.Lo's garage sale. Horbs.

($925, Dior, Neiman Marcus)

These Dior heels are either tragically melded together like couture conjoined twins, or else we caught them in the act of copulation. And I didn't know shoes could have sex.

($48, Jeffrey Campbell, 6pm.com)

The exact wrong way to do animal prints. Shudder!!


Um, perhaps the less said about these horrific Pierre Hardy cut-out shoes the better.

(Apprx $120, Topshop)

It's a sandal AND a boot! Rrr... remind me why again?

(Sold out, Chloe, Saks)

That these are sold out suggests to me that there are hundreds, nay THOUSANDS of women out there with equally horbs taste. The horror!

($160, HedoFashions.com)

Thankfully there are several of these disturbing stripper shoes left in all sizes!

($47, Pleaser, Amazon)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, these are mainly available in men's sizes.

($149, John Fluevog)

Marked down from $239. Priced to move. Quickly, one would hope. Gahr.

($48, Urban Outfitters)

The paperbag as shoe! Recyclable footwear, folks!

Victoria's Secret Ugly Boot MVPs

In honor of the impending professional football competition, I'd like to employ the follow sports metaphor: if Victoria's Secret footwear were a sports team, these three pairs of boots would be neck and neck for MVP:

($89, Victoria's Secret)

When a 5" heel just isn't enough, run a yard and a half of the tackiest crushed velvet you can find -- OOH! BLUE! PerFECto! -- up your leg, install a stripper pole in your bedroom, and just call it a day.

($180, Ugg, Victoria's Secret)

How do you improve upon the "perfection" of regular Uggs? Metalicize them. Then wrap them up in zigzagging ribbons like the world's worst gift! Voila! Tres Tomb Raider!


FabSugar scored the hooker-boot homerun! Sequins AND animal print AND metallics? Where do I sign up?

Deal of the Day! $149 Frye Boots at Victoria's Secret

($149, Frye, Victoria's Secret)

Well well well! WHO knew (not me, for one!) that Victoria's Secret had stocked up on Frye boots? Me likey! I'm not totes sure if I'm the girl who can do that boho-chick-in-shit-kickers motorcycle boots, like say, Sienna Miller or Lindsay Lohan or Scarlett Johansson -- who may or may not be engaged, by the way -- but if I were, I'd certainly give these a shot. I love them way more in brown than in black, even though black would make some sorta sense since Doc Martens may or may not be back in! (!!!) I'm personally hoping for "not."


Frye boots I like even more but are not on sale:

($248, Frye, Shopbop.com)

I know they're a little Posh-Spice-Plays-Polo, but I love 'em regardless.

Victoria's Secret Booties: Love 'Em Or Leave 'Em?

I swear, I'm not even making drug party, but I think I actually like these booties by Victoria's Secret.

($39, Victoria's Secret)

I know. They're Victoria's Secret! And they're metallic! Normally that'd be a double ew, but am I wrong in thinking that the silver ones would be cute with a pair of dark indigo skinny jeans and a little black jacket? Really wrong? Lemme knows, hos!

Two far less controversial boots:

($268, Frye, Urban Outfitters)


($79, Urban Outfitters)