I Pledge Allegiance To Anthropologie's Shoe Selection

Stand up and salute Anthropologie's current shoe selection. I mean, please. Really.

$430, Chie Mahara, Anthropologie.com

These Chie Mahara bolted peep-toe booties are the Aladdin Sane of peep-toe booties and will obsessively consume my thoughts like p0rn0graphy. Not that I obsess over p0rn. I really don't. Just shoes. But no judgements if you're into p0rn. You do you. You've got flesh, I've got footwear.

$378, Judari, Anthropologie.com

Am I aware that these Judari floral wedge sneakers a more of a clusterfuck than Times Square? Well, yeah, but I like a farrago where personal style is concerned. The busier the better.

$438, Bettye Muller, Anthropologie.com

These are just BEGGING to be worn with a red silk blouse and black skinny jeans. Mama, I'm comin' home!

$158, Farylrobin, Anthropologie.com

These mint floral jute flatforms (AHHH! AGAIN! SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE!) are SO Alice In Wonderland goes to a suburban rave in 1994. So, in other words, they're everything I need in a shoe.

Neon Shoes Are IT

Yo. So, this Saturday I was in the Upper East Side doing GOD knows what, and I waited approximately the orbital period of Hayley's Comet for a 6 train. Despite a major case of GMTFOOH-itis, the wait was not for naught because observed at least six chicks wearing some refreshingly awesome neon shoes, which begat my own quest for summery neon and pop-colored shoes. Pair them with another bright bold for some color-blocking action, or with a neutral. LOVE a neon-neutral combo. So let's DO this:

($227, Diane Von Furstenberg, Zappos.com)

I actually wouldn't be mad at these bring orange Diane Von Furstenberg heels paired with a purple, red or bright pink top and some grey or black skinny jeans. Try it! You might like it. What's the worst that could happen? Are you trying to put your mothah in an early grave? Nu?

($140, Melissa, Karmaloop.com)

I want to say that the white cat eye stripe up the back of these Melissa wedges is the best part about them, but that's like saying the hair is the best part of Andrew Garfield, which is really just selling him short. Perfect with a peach or blush maxi dress, you know? Or a bold turquoise.

($73, Melissa, Karmaloop.com)

More cute rubbery realness from Melissa. The double buckle detail is worlds away from the jellies of my youth.

($51, Marais)

Normally I don't fucks with kitten heels due to the whole thick-stack-on-a-short-stick effect they create, but these Marais heels offset that potential disaster with a slimming ankle strap.

($34.99, ModCloth.com)

I probably couldn't sit let alone walk in these purple phenomenons, but if you can, you should.

($244, Chie Mahara, NeimanMarcus.com)

These cork and yellow leather Chie Mahara heels are beautiful enough on my tiny little computer screen. I can only imagine how lush they look IRL.

($484, Loeffler Randall)

These Loeffler Randall x Suno Erin lace-up wedges aren't really neon, but they are beautiful. I like how from afar the pattern looks like googly eyes. You don't see shoes with googly eyes nearly enough these days.

($278, Ground Zero, Shopfatal.com)

Oh HAVE MERCY. Clear vinyl neon and GREY Oxfords? With BREATHING HOLES? Can you kick it? YES WE CAN!

Already, I Am Sick of Gladiator Sandals...

And it's barely even Spring!!! Seriously, unless you're actively involved in battling bears or guys who look like Russell Crowe, you do NOT need to encase you foot in a leather cage. Please. DON'T!

Some particularly egregious offenders:

($98, Jeffrey Campbell, Urban Outfitters)

If you're concerned that your cankle areas (for lack of a better term) are going to be chilly, MAYBE IT'S TOO COLD OUT FOR SANDALS! But you really truly do not get to do both.

($28, Urban Outfitters)

Dudes, fringe is not for shoes. Fringe is for jackets... no wait a second. Fringe is NOT FOR ANYONE outside of Branson (and I'm sure several of Branson's fine citizens don't even wear it). Don't ever wear fringe EVER. (One exception: you are Dolly Parton and/or 1967 Dennis Hopper.)

($57, Naughty Monkey, Karmaloop.com)
Seriously? What the shit??

($79, Nine West)

We get it. The American economy is in the shitter, so we're supposed to buy bright things to make us forget. I love bright things, but that's no reason to let the sandal equivalent of Bill Cosby's Coogi sweater creep up your foot.

($125, Urban Outfitters)

As if someone sent a perfectly okay jazz shoe through a paper shredder.

You get the point. So now, some lovely warm-weather footwear alternatives to the scourge of gladiators:

($48, Urban Oufitters)

Not my all-time favorites, but definitely not bad at all. At least there's no covered heel or ankle nonsense.

($105, Dolce Vita, Piperlime.com)

Perfectly reasonable, sweetly (note: not barfily) trendy metallic peep-toe that says "I'm a grown-up, and I'm perfectly mature about keeping MOST of my foot consistently -- not schizophrenically covered."

($105, Sam Edelman, Bloomingdale's)

Love both of these. (Very similar, cheaper ones here, BTW.) Wedge-y but not towering, which is more than I can say for these:

($29.50, Alloy.com)

Holy hell. Anyway, back to better spring shoes:

($175, Cole Haan, Bloomingdale's)

Rarely do I see white shoes I'd actually wear, but these are great (both versions!) all-purpose sping/ summer heeled sandals that completely do not suck or offend.

($365, Chie Mahara, Sodafine.com)

Sweet, sweet design. Sweet, sweet desire. It's like the Golden Gate Bridge found a happy home on your foot (minus the congestion and the jumpers.)

($375, Ralph Lauren, Bloomingdale's)

The price is a bit ridick for a bit of rope, and sure, they're a bit campy, but they're still fun in a WASPy sort of way. (And Ha'shem KNOWS I'm WASPY!) Though I'm not sure why you wouldn't just opt for Kinos -- Key West classics -- instead:

($11, KinoSandalFactory.com)

($11, KinoSandalFactory.com)


($41, Steve Madden)

It's not much, but it's right to the point and WORLDS better than the much-aligned flip-flop. HELP US HELP YOU!

** Also, Steve Madden promo code:
$10 off: SML963BF1E (Not sure if this is a one-hitter or what.)

Finally, if sandals aren't your thing (and I get that), I like these ridiculous (and ridiculously priced!) Nikes:

($79, Nike, Alloy)

Do I offend???

** Disclosure: This post contains a paid link.

Spring Shoes: Trend Mash-Up

In which I've taken a few of my favorite Spring 2008 shoes that combine one or more of the upcoming trends and details and consolidated them into one one hearty post, with more to come. Stilettos in heights that defy good sense, textured metallic accents, peep toes and lush patents. Wee!

($411, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

Mmm. Creamy grey patents! With a wider heel! The mirrored heels and unusal batwing peaks make these even more murder-inspiring.

($730, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

I'm not sure what is "mini" about the Christian Louboutin Mini Bout Zeppa pumps, but they're perfectly, well, perfect.

($670, Versace, eLuxury.com)

Bold and razor-sharp in silvery gunmetal, more refined in bronze.

($449, Petra Rubino, Forzieri.com)

I'm personally not the ankle-tie type, but I applaud the woman who can pull off these interesting Oxfords. The color combo here rules.

(Apprx $530 USD, Gwendolyn Carrie)

Black + gold = chocolate and peanut butter.

($130, Vince Camuto, Piperlime.com)

It is time for me to officially declare: I think I love everything Vince Camuto does.

($330, Chie Mahara, Saks)

Total granny chic, updated in blood red = loves.

(Apprx $58 USD, Topshop.com)

Allllllegedly we're gonna be seeing a lot of ikat patterns now-ish. And I welcome these red ikat pumps by Topshop with open arms and an open wallet. Now HURRY UP AND OPEN IN NEW YORK!

What Would You Do... For These Chie Mahara Heels?

($350, Chie Mahara, ShoeMine.com)

Dudes, remember those insipid "What would you do for a Klondike bar" commercials, where some cheesy ad execs thought everyday people would be so desperate for a poorly designed wedge (how do you eat a SQUARE of ice cream with NO spoon, no stick, no handle, nothing!) of tasteless vanilla ice cream covered in barely edible cheap chocolate that they'd bark like a dog (a big dog!), hop up and down on one foot, or do something REALLY crazy like put the dirty dishes in the sink!

Well, I wouldn't do any of that bullshit for a crappy, inexplicably Inuit-inspired cheap-ass bodega frozen dessert, but for these Chie Mahara "Ox" heels (they're cheaper on the Chie Mahara site, but some of the sizes are sold out), I'd... punch an old lady, smack a baby (but only if it was crying), leave a banana peel in someone's path, not warn someone that they were about to sit on a bench full of wet paint, rob a T-Mobile, or possibly even kill a grifter.

What would YOU do for Chie Mahara?

Electric Blues

I'm seeing so many pretty pretty princess blues in electric, royal, cobalt and other shades. Here's a round-up of blue beauties.

JUMPERS
($175, Doucette Duvall, Ylli)
The first is by my beloved Doucette Duvall. So beautiful. Sigh.


($229, Rachel Pally, Amazon)
So comfy looking.


($89, Sarah Luna, Ylli)
Usually I'm pretty anti denim, and I'm generally against denim anywhere above the waist, but this is really lovely and would look so nice with a wee black cropped jacket, black tights and black boots in the coming cooler months.


($34, Bloomingdales.com)
Cutes!


($65, Splendid, Amazon)
Comfort City!


($407, Cindy Lee, Revolveclothing.com)
I absolutely love this shade of blue. Reminds me of that Lipsy dress Lily Allen wore to the Concert for Diana. The dress, by the way, is sold out at Lipsy but available at Asos.com.



TOPS
($173, Geren Ford, Bergdorf Goodman)
Just another reason why Geren Ford is quickly becoming one of my favorite indie designers.


($225, Nanette Lepore, Shoptwigs.com)
This would probably look terrible on me, but the color is gorgeous.


($30, Nooworks, Modishoppe.com)
Fabulous shade.



DRESSES
(Apprx $192 USD, Jasmine Guinness, Oli.co.uk)
So elegant, and I love the button detailing on the back:



(Apprx $127 USD, Toast.co.uk)
Very Laura Ingalls Goes To A Small Liberal Arts College. The yellow sash makes it so much less stodgy.


($25, eBay)
It says lilac, but whatever. This style is super perfect. I always get excited when I find stuff like this in thrift stores, because the cut is always so flattering.



SHOES
($46, Seychelles, Lulusfashionlounge.com)
Yay for $46, boo for only size 7. UPDATE: JK! They're here at Zappos.com for $83, and check 'em out in white! Loves!


($52, Seychelles, Lulusfashionlounge.com)
Best. Would rule with a pink or yellow top and some grey jeans.


(Apprx $188, Chie Mahara, Toast.co.uk)
Amazing. Perfect height and shade. And also lovely in yellow.



($306, Miu Miu, Monamoore.com)
Mainly I think tie-dyed stuff belongs only in the recesses of our collective American memory of 1960s cliches, but these are one outstanding exception. They make me wanna do tons of sit-ups so I can just walk around the house naked, save these.... Okay... so nothing is worth that many sit-ups. But still. The intent is there!

Now go snack on this awesome and relevant old-school video: