Adidas x Opening Ceremony Rod Laver Striped Hi Top Sneakers: Gone, But Not Forgotten

+ UPDATE: Urban Outfitters has the Adidas x Opening Ceremony Rod Laver sneakers in WOMEN'S sizes! 10% off with promo code "WACKSLACKS." DONE! Thank you, Based God! +

$175, Opening Ceremony x Adidas Rod Laver Hi tops, Urban Outfitters

When will I learn that spending two months deliberating in a most Woody Allen of fashions whether or not to buy a limited edition pair of sneakers will almost always result in a frantic demon drop down the rabbit hole/ Baby Jessica well of the deepest depths of online destinations and shoe store phone calls, only to discover there's no light at the end of the tunnel, and the the Adidas x Opening Ceremony Ron Laver striped hi tops are sold out. I have the opposite of FOMO. I have ToMO -- Totally Missed out. If you or someone you love know where to find a men's size 6, hollar at a Jew. By the way, the girl at Opening Ceremony was a total doll and called both New York stores to see if there were any in stock. The girl at the Adidas Originals store, was, sadly a besnatch. 

If you need me, I'll be consoling myself with my $2.99 CVS avocado deep conditioning treatment. 

Holiday Gift Guide Day 4: Camper Together x Bernhard Willhelm Boots & Makeup Forever All Eyes On You Set

The fruits of Camper's "Together" collaborative efforts with Bernhard Willhelm are so glorious that they deserve their own winter holiday where we gather around a fake plastic tree and sign pagan songs in symbolic honor of these zip-up boots. Sounds festive, right? I saw them in the basement of Opening Ceremony and just stood there, openly worshiping false idols like a bad little Jew.

$545, Camper Together x Bernhard Willhelm, Opening Ceremony

Rodarte for Opening Ceremony's Shoes Will Make Need A Fainting Couch

Puffy! Hold me down, baby!

$530, Rodarte x Opening Ceremony, Openingceremony.us

$610, Rodarte x Opening Ceremony, Openingceremony.us

I can't. I just CANNOT. Rodarte For Opening Ceremony's booties are just THAT intense. This is why we still need fainting couches at the READY! They're makin' me high. Toni Braxton-style. And those glitter booties? Now that I've come to terms with the fact that I'll probably just never own a pair of Miu Miu glitter booties, I'm quite happy to see that there are other options out there for glitter footwear enthusiasts such as myself. Oh, and hat tip to Racked.com's 28 best shoe stores in New York City story, where I first spotted these Rodarte glitter booties and to Eye4Style, who sent me Lefanciulle's guide to making your OWN glitter ankle boots. Something tells me my attempt to DIY my own may come out looking more like a kindergartener's trace-your-hand turkey art project, but it's worth a try.

I CAN'T With These Orange Leopard-Print Patent Leather Opening Ceremony Wedges

($730, Opening Ceremony)

Opening Ceremony's Margo wedges are SO wild they should be safely contained in a cage. In a zoo. Where people charge admission to go gape at and take photos of them. 

The silk dyed lace-up ties make these feel more high-fashion, less Trash & Vaudeville creeper central (though don't get me wrong -- there's a time and a place for Trash & Vaudeville). It's like Marc Jacobs and Brian Atwood had a baby and Diane Von Furstenberg was the surrogate.

+ Wear them with:
* White V-neck tee
* Black circle skirt
* Crazy rad chunky necklace
* Conviction

Charmed By Venessa Arizaga

Today I shot more footage for Stephanie Caruso's short film, "Fashion. It's Fucking Fantastic," about fashion bloggers -- watch the trailer here. It's J'DORABLE, and I'm honored to be in it. For real.

Anyway, I borrowed a necklace from one of my favorite jewelry designers, Venessa Arizaga, who creates charming (hee) necklaces and bracelets and types of handmade pieces that become insta-favorites (like, horse necklace status). She was a designer for Tuleh and Carolina Herrera and, most recently, design director for Zac Posen (NBD!) and left last year to pursue jewelry full-time and run her surf shop, the Rock Co-Op, in Rockaway Beach.

Many of her pieces are inspired by travels, the beach, and beachy travels, which is why each piece feels like a little souvenir celebration.

I wore the Gold Mine necklace...

($395, Venessa Arizaga)

I also love this charm necklace, but I knew my Jewish mom would lose her shiz if she saw me wearing a necklace with a cross on it. And I just can't do that to my moms, you know?

($150, Venessa Arizaga)

Q: What's cuter than this pearl and skull necklace? A: Not much.

Demonstrating my need for a real digital camera.

Get Venessa Arizaga's charming charm necklaces at Opening Ceremony and here.

Two Pairs Of Shoes By Which I Cannot Abide

I consider myself a fairly tolerant, accepting person. However there are a few things I cannot abide by. One of those things? These Cindy Says Keegan heels...

($142, Cindy Says, Endless.com)

I mean, they're platforms. Covered in pony hair. And feathers. And studs. And some kind of gem thing. They have whipstitching. And they lace up. And they have a fabric welt. The only thing they don't have is even the most remote shred of decency. And don't even get me started on the tan and orange version.


Hard to say which is more offensive. They both have their own separate list of bullet pointed atrocities.

Meanwhile, these Doc Martens for Opening Ceremony Darcie boots?...

($300, Doc Martens, Opening Ceremony)

True, I DO have the black version of these Darcie Docs. And I LOVE these gold flocked Docs. But while I do LOVE animal print, this is proof that animal print can be used for both good AND evil. There's just something '70s-in-the-bad-way about the print. It looks like a fabric batik wall hanging that my mom mounted on a hula hoop and hung on the wall of our basement rec room back in 1982. True story.

+ On a related note: Hello Kitty Doc Martens

Risto Bimbiloski, I'm A Cosmo Girl!

Lately I've been all space cadety and dreaming of Pink Floyd-referencing, cosmic, marbley watercolors and photo prints. Sometimes they're pieces that are actually tie-dyes, but they're so not hippie-chick at all. They're intergalactic pieces that look like they're in a dark and stormy mood, a la Peter Pilotto's Fall 2009 collection and much of Risto Bimbiloski's signature celestial notes.

($99, Laeken, Revolveclothing.com)

I'm lovin' Laeken's pieces and their more of-this-earth prices.

($150, Laeken, Ssense.com)

This Laeken top is the perfect wear-anywhere, layer-with-anything piece.

($759, Tsumori Chisato, SSense.com)

Has there ever been an edifice moodier than the Eiffel Tower?

($75, Risto Bimbiloski, Opening Ceremony)

($384, Risto Bimbiloski, Assembly New York)

A LIGHTNING-PRINT boyfriend blazer = thunderclap of genius.

Now check out more from Risto Bimbiloski's blog, and listen to Metric's acoustic version of "Twilight Galaxy" and just TRY not to cry.

Prada's Cavallino Bowler Is Doing Wild Things To My Head

I don't know who I think I am, but apparently I'm the kind of person who somehow, suddenly looks at Prada bags. Generally I write off Prada bags a.) because I can't afford them, DUHR, and b.) because I associate them with those terrible nylon black backpacks which are just the worst. But somehow I'm all into the idea of Prada's leopard-print Cavallino bowler.

($3,100, Prada, NeimanMarcus.com)

Great, right? Too bad I enjoy "eating," and "having an apartment" and "not being wildly in debt."

Anyway, my obnoxious Prada leopard-print bag fantasies inspired a major animal-print binge, which netted the following:

($585, Hammitt, Searlenyc.com)

Studs with animal print can be a leeeettle cowboy, but this bag by LA brand Hammitt still kinda works.

($745, Stella McCartney, Net-a-porter.com)

The elusive zebra-colored leopard print! Score!

($564, Opening Ceremony, Asos.com)

Opening Ceremony! Why are you so good to us? (And also, why are you so expensive?)

($158, Sam Edelman, Nordstrom)

Sam Edelman's Katrice wedge FTW! So '70s it's sick!

($80, Topshop)

I love an adventurous outfit, but have these leopard-print harem pants crossed the line from adventurous to crazy? Like Real Housewives table-flipping levels of nuts? Also, as much as I wanna make harem pants "work," I'm becoming increasingly convinced that they barely even look good on models whose body types are "pencil."

($36, Walmart)

Finally, this IS FashionBinge, where we do love a good deal, so far it be from me to leave you without something affordable. I mean, this Walmart leopard-print bag isn't the absolute worst. I'd carry it to the gym. Seriously, just tell people it's vintage deadstock, and they'll be all "ooh!"

Vena Cava Siouxie Dress For The Non-Traditional Wedding Dress Win!

I was flipping through Anica Boutique's sale selection, marveling at how everything on sale fell under the category of either HORBSFEST (WHAT did these Mocium jeans do to deserve this???) or AWESOME SAUCE (Opening Ceremony silk bustier dress that's just $142), when I stumbled across this PORTRAIT OF PERFECTION:

($628, Vena Cava, AnicaBoutique.com)

Size 6 only. Now don't get me wrong -- $628 doesn't seem like much of a sale to me. But I've been dropping that bridal acid that has my brain tripping balls into believing that like, $3,000 is a somewhat reasonable price to pay for ONE item that you will wear exactly ONCE. Evar. So, relatively speaking, $628 is a STEAL. Isn't that funny how that works? In REAL FUCKING LIFE I'd NEVER EVER spend $628 on one dress, but in bizarro bridalville, I'm like OOH NO PROB! SO THAT'S A VISA, AND THE FIRST FOUR NUMBERS ARE... MKAY GREAT!

Anyway, this silk dress is so sweet my teeth fucking hurt. It's got such a perfect 1950s feel (while the detailing's a little '70s), and the shoe options blow my mind and then come back for seconds. I love how clean and crisp it is and how it flatters any figure. It's also a perfect dress if you're doing a tiny, private ceremony at a court house or city hall or something. Or a small beach or lakefront wedding. No reason you shouldn't have a great dress too. And pay a lot for it too! :P

BTW, oh HAI! Same dress, size 4 and 6, $300 at Basic Boutique! Also, check DressBoston.com -- they might have it.

Springy Outfit I Wish I Were Wearing

In my mind, I am wearing this fantasy outfit...

($119, Supersocial, Pixiemarket.com)

I keep seeing denim and chambray EV-ER-Y-where. This is super cuters and feels like the embodiment of Stevie Wonder's Talking Book album.

($458, Coach)

I can hardly believe I like a Coach bag, but these Ergo leather satchel bags are lush and lovely and NOT full of overblown, mall-chick logos.

($750, Derek Lam, Shopbop)
So stunning, yet so 'spensy.

Two "cheaper" versions:

($369, Opening Ceremony, Asos.com)

Fun, but a bit overly sporty.

($294, Kate Kuba, Asos.com)

Rewling.

Totes Bag Lust: Alexandra Cassaniti's Tote Lust

($220, Alexandra Cassaniti)

Lusting por this graffiti-goes-glam tote. The pink-eye isosceles and scalenes remind me of the Vuarnet logo deconstructed. (Via Coolhunting.)

Here's a super-duper ghetto option, if you need easy, breezy toteage:

($14.95/ dozen, Oriental Trading)

BTW, I read somewhere that Vuarnet was relaunching, but I can't find any Internet proof to corroborate. Oh well.

UPDATE!
It's actually '80s surf-n-skate brand Maui & Sons that's making a comeback. At Opening Ceremony, natch. I was feeling down on myself for my fruitless Googling -- I was seriously doubting my Internet prowess! Until I saw a dude last night wearing a Maui & Sons shirt and it hit me that I'd had my '80s sport Tees mixed up. Phew.

Sneaker Freaker: Tretorns!

Now that my billion-year-old black Chucks have finally been retired to that great barely biodegradable landfill in the ground, I'm in the market for a new pair of sneaks.

This weekend I saw a pair of Tretorn for Acne Jeans or Acne Jeans for Tretorn or whatever sneakers, and, quite frankly, they were SHIT HOT:

(Photo via Refinery29.com)

The pair I saw was the same style but in black, and they were gorgeous, but the $158 price tag left them sitting right on their pretty little shelf. I still covet tho. Oh, and because, once again, I'm totes late to the game, Refinery29 was all over that shit back in March. Ho well. If yer still interested, you can get them or the hi-top version at Bird in Brooklyn.


So, speaking of old-school Tretorns, I remember I had a pair WAAAAY back in say, middle school, and I remember their inch-plus of cushiness creating a level of comfort that was almost fucking absurd. So, again, seeing as how I'm currently in the market for a new pair of non-mom sneakers, I'm now chasing that first high and going after another Tretorn fix:

($65, Tretorn)

Best, though I wish they had them in a blacker black.

($60, Tretorn)

Basic, comfy, blue. What else do you want?

($75, Tretorn)

OMG. These are ridiculous and hilarious. They're a tribute to favorite Swedish dish toast Skagen. The left represents the "mix," while the right represents the toast. Uhhhh okay. I guess it's like if we had shoes with pizza or burgers on 'em. Curiously, these are only available for men, so does that mean that mainly men like toast skagen? Or only men wear SHOES with toast skagen on them? Who knows. I certainly wouldn't wear them, so perhaps those Swedes are onto something.

($80, Tretorn)

... And via Highsnobiety.com, from whom I lovingly borrowed the above photo, Tretorn and pro-Chloe boutique/line Opening Ceremony (they center the store around a different theme each year, and this year is Sweden) are collaborating on some limited-edition styles. I sorta almost like the middle checkered ones, but still, the black ones are my faves.

Chloe Sevigny's Clothing Line

Yay! It won't be long now 'til you can OFFICIALLY dress like the female version of Oliver Twist... or a less cracked-out Courtney Love circa 1993, because Chloe Sevigny's about to drop her clothing line at Opening Ceremony.



What really kills me is the outfit on the far right. For when you REALLY wanna unironically dress like Thelma and/or Louise. I've never been to Chloe's home town of Darien, Connecticut (which allegedly helped inspire her line), but something tells me that the women of a town that boasts a per-family median income of $173,777 don't dress in trailer park-inspired too-tiny floral-printed tankini tops and FUPA-exposing high-waisted printed leggings. And Fergie's already done a good enough job of beating the porkpie to death:



When it comes to fashionable Chloes, make mine See.

TONS Of Stuff I Want

MMMmmmkay, peeps. I've been obsessively HORDING stuff (well, at least links and photos) for y'all, and then I end up with 14 trillion things to show y'all but no time to tackle everything. So, here's just ONE batch of my billionsah awesome items.

DRESSES

($198, J.Crew)
Now I almost never -- actually I can literally say that I DON'T EVER shop at J. Crew -- I find most of their stuff boring and too "White People" (even though I'm white, and pretty damn pale at that, as if to drive that point home), but this dress is fucking awesome. The T.Lo male counterpart and I both heart lobsters -- eating them but mainly in their anthropomorphic states. This dress is neither, but I especially am fond of anything printed with lobsters. Kosher or not, I'd wear this in a heartbeat.



($90, Charlotte Ronson, Rokandlola.com)
I've come around and am now sorta okay with bubble dresses, especially when they're the color of bubble gum, like this one.




($198, B With G, Winknyc.com)
Totes out of season, but totes great. Very Mischa Barton when she's not dressed like a Busch Gardens ticket taker.



TOPS


($195, development, Factorypeople.com)
Perfect summer adorbsness.



($366, Viktor & Rolf, Net-a-porter.com)
So femme!



($76, Phbnyc.com)
Simple in a sorta Laura Ingalls way, but perfect for those 150 degrees in the shade August days. (Worst.)



($39, Collective Clothing, Smartbargains.com)
Fun colors, fun graphic print. Those look like blueberries = yay!



($20, Meetmark.com)
'Parently Mark (as in Avon's answer to the oughts) has clothing and accessories. And not bad ones at that. Who knew? (I guess I did.)



JEANS

($92, Radcliffe Denim, Shopbop.com)
I'm sorry, but I am NOT yet ready to give into the sailor-jeans-up-to-my-neck trend. I hope I never will (check back in a month or so -- I'm not above fashion hypocrisy). These are gorgeous.



($75, Opening Ceremony, Oogaboogastore.com)
Git yerself some Chloe Sevigny jeans for just $75 -- thought you gotta admit -- she's been looking A BIT less like a Bellevue escapee lately. Good for her. Though still, not good about sucking Vincent Gallo's dirty dick. Bad idea jeans right there.




SHOES


($39, Chinese Laundry, Lovemyshoes.com)
Perfect height right here. I love black, and the silver ones are even sorta cool in a Ziggy Stardust sorta way.



($29, Isaac Mizrachi, Target)
Very tempting. You can't take the Madonna out of the girl. At least not this girl, anyway.



($56, Zinc, Amazon)
I know they're cheezeball, but they're GIRAFFE!! WEEE! Giraffes are totes the new grey owls, y'all.



($98, Sam Edelman, Urban Outfitters)
Very cute, but not ultimately worth $100. By the time I finish typing this sentence, I'm sure at least 15 different knockoffs will have been created. Woo!


Oh wait...

($16, Gojane.com)
I love America.



($25, Abate, Payless)
Per my yellow shoes post. These are great "in theory," but I don't "do" platforms nor "ankle straps." "O"-"kay"??



($29, Punk Rose, Heelandsoleshoes.com)
I'm in the market for some black Vans or Vans-esque slides. These might be too skatery though.



($39, Rebels, Amazon)
Cute, but perhaps too young?



($14, Cherokee, Target)
Simple enough. These might haveta do.



($59, Rebels, Amazon)
Pink snakeskin is surprisingly cute!



($19, Gojane.com)
"Unexpectedly" cute!



($19, Qupid, Amazon)
Love the knotted detail. And the price. Woo cheap summer shoes!



($26, Gojane.com)
Sorta like the Pussycat Dolls -- so crappy that they're almost great.



($110, Sam Edelman, Urban Outfitters)
I've been admiring these for a while, but ...



($15, Gojane.com)
Holla at some knockoffs!



($7.99, Gojane.com)
At first I was hating on jellies, then I was indifferent, but these sorta converted me. Cute and comfy and cheap. And the grey is just innocuous enough. I'm sure I'll see some guy walking around Williamsburg in these soon enough though.




HANDBAGS

($645, Kooba, Kooba.com)
Sigh. The ultimate grey shopper. Sigh.



BOOTS

($19, Target)
Totes cute.



JEWELRY

(Apprx $9 USD, Switchrings.com)
These are so damn cute. You get four random designs you can switch in and out (hence the name). I love these:




Oh yeah -- get ready for a MAMMOTH jewelry post in the very very near future.




ROLLER SKATES

($128, Asos.com)
I'm not in the market for roller "boots" (tee! So cute) right now, but if I were, I'm glad I'd know where to find 'em.




MORTSES
A few of the monstrosities I found along the way...

($149, Charles David, Amazon)
Shudder.



($51, Rebel, Amazon)
Dude, seriously...



($64, Rebels, Amazon)
Seriously dude...



($58, Shellys London, Urban Outfitters)
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.



This guy just really freaked me out for some reason.



($2045, Dietlind Preiss, Unicahome.com)
Uhhhh...


Mkay, bye.