10 Patriotic Ways To Make 4th Of July Fashion Not Mad Cheesy

Look, I'm WAY Team America, totally glad I live here and have freedoms that while, YES could certainly use some work *COUGH COUGH UNIVERSAL HEALTH CASE AND FEDERALLY SANCTIONED GAY MARRIAGE COUUUUUUUUUUUUGH* are still pretty effing great. Trust me, there are worse places we could live in this world. I don't take that for granted. THAT SAID, I find red white and blue stuff kinda cheesy. It's one thing to see a child adorably dressed in a cotton ball beard and a 10-gallon hat with stars on it. It's another to see a full-grown, full-blown adult in an oversized flag tee and drawstring jersey shorts in red. There are so many ways to do patriotic fashion in a cute, unscreaming way. Here are ten of them!

$104, Motel, FredFlare.com

I love the idea of celebrating our nation's independence with stripes that AREN'T red, white, and/or blue and instead borrowing from the punk aesthetic of black and white stripes.

$25.99, Glamour Kills

A men's t-shirt that says "United States Of Awesome"? Cheesy? Yeah, sure. But so are bald eagles.

$85, Sperry, Delias.com

 True, florals aren't necessarily patriotic, but we have plenty of flowers here in America, right, so... why not?

$184, Corey Lynn Calter

If you are going to red, white and blue, this is totally the way to do it -- mismatched but totally complementary patterns. And isn't that JUST an apt metaphor for the American melting pot? Mismatched yet adorable? Awwww. See what I did there?

$290, Isabel Marant, Farfetch.com

Again, this black Isabel Marant Rika blouse with tiny little baby white embroidered stars is an amazing take on otherwise cheese-coated stars and stripes. See? Stars for cool grownups!

$140, Emily Elizabeth Jewelry

An olde-tymey star necklace on a grosgrain ribbon is kinda pretty perfect any day of the year. But you know... especially July 4th. And you can customize the ribbon color you want. I'm kinda into the beige. The Emily Elizabeth star ring is rull cute too.

$135, Milly, BergdorfGoodman.com

I love how '80s this navy and rhinestone knotted nautical Milly necklace is. I love with, say, a fitted black blazer, white tee and some cutoffs.

$34.99, Lands End Canvas

Lands End generously sent me a cotton top, and seriously their basics are incredibly comfortable, versatile and well-priced. I don't own this striped rope-belted dress, but I'd wear it in a red hot and blue minute.

$119, Jeffrey Campbell, Solestruck.com

Jeffrey Campbell is smoking crack. I mean that in the BEST way possible. It's like every week they roll out some new shoes that are five to seven times more batshit than the last ones. I wouldn't personally wear these Stars And Stripes El Carmen Maryjanes but only because I'd break an ankle. I own a pair of seashell-covered shoes, so tacky is clearly not an issue.

$14.95 for a pack of 3, Violent Lips

... And SPEAKING of tacky, these are Violent Lips, which are lip tattoos. I was sent a few packs, and, thinking they were some kind of sticker, I barely read the instructions and haphazardly slapped them on. I think enough all day at work. I'm kind of "off the clock" as thinking goes when I get home at 10 o'clock at night. The point is, had I taken four seconds to READ the instructions, I would've known that these are like REAL temporary tattoos, and not stickers. They REALLY stay on. For up to eight hours. That's business time. Anyway, I slapped them on totally incorrectly, failing to read the part about WAITING FIVE MINUTES FOR THEM TO DRY. So, they were like, half smeared on, half hanging off, and pulling them off my lips was like pulling a Band-Aid off my lips... if that Band-Aid were made of DUCT TAPE! YEEEOWCH. Total drama over here in Brooklyn. Anyway, after a vigorous scrubbing with my toothbrush and scrubbing with makeup remover, (and removing the sticky bits from my TEETH) everything over here is back to normal. So, if you KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING and do it right -- because basically, I did EVERYTHING wrong -- Violent Lips are SUPER cool. Especially if you have around eight hours to wear lip tats somewhere. I neither knew what I was doing nor did it right. But, hey. This is America. We're still learning.

God bless us, everyone!

The Motorcycle Boots Diaries: Also Doc Martens Are Back In!

Though I'm not sure I agree. I had my love affair with them -- specifically between the years of 1991 - 1996. I remember going to the Lynnhaven Mall in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and "visiting" the Doc Marten black lace-ups that'd soon become mine once I'd saved enough babysitting money to pay for half of the $80 price, which I thought was SOOOOOOOOO much for a pair of shoes. My mom was reluctant to help me pay for the other half of what she alternatingly referred to as "shitkickers," and "Nazi boots." I remember going to the counter and her saying "these better last til you're in college." I was in eigth grade then, and they definitely did. After years of moving with my dusty black Docs (they barely looked like I'd worn them after all those years), in plastic Rubbermaid bins, I finally got rid of them a year or so ago. It was really time. BUT, all sentimentality for the fashions of the early '90s aside, I'm not really that pleased to see should I see DOC MARTENS creeping back into my inbox and onto the pages of catalogs and magazines this fall.

The first time I saw them -- in mainstream fashion -- was a few months back in their Benneton iteration -- half Docs, half motorcycle boots, all patent leather:

Benetton

I think they run a little under $200. They're fun but in bright red, they're a little too Ronald McAdoodly, you know?

($88, Urban Outfitters)

I liked Urban Outfitters' lace-up oxford version much better.

($110, Doc Martens, Delia's)

Whoop there they are! At DELIA'S. So you KNOW they're back.

($110, Doc Martens, Delia's)

My love of leopard-printed fashions is well documented. Even leopard-print shoes. (Or cheetah-print. Whatever. Tomato/ tomahto.) But not boots. Ack.

Anyway, so back to motorcycle/engineer boots -- they're HUGE for fall, and they're everywhere -- Michael Kors, Aldo, Steve Madden, Guess, Frye (of course), but the best ones I've seen -- and probably the most expensive ones are these:

($1143, Golden Goose, eLuxury)

Golden Goose is a line of luxury riding-inspired boots designed by Italian designers Francesca and Alessandro Gallo. They ain't cheap, but they sure are purdy. Each limited-edition pair of boots are marked with a serial number, and they come pre-distressed and destroyed. WANT!

+ More Golden Goose here.

Nike McFlys Return to the Future, Finally

Attention sneaker freakers (actually, attention regular peeps, because sneakerheads probably already know this)... Twenty-one years into the future, you can FINALLY wear the once-fictitious Nike dunks Marty McFly made famous in Back to the Future II. The inspired-by sneakers are coming out later this summer and are, inexplicably, going to be repped by Kobe Bryant.

More here, here and here.

Need something more lo-tech? Delia's has 22 different colors of Converse:

Two Sweet Spring Bags

ONE:

($175, Pa-Tou-Tou, Piperlime)

Springy, yet sophisticated. The print reminds me of the decor at the Viceroy Hotel in Santa Monica. Also, very Kate Spade.




TWO:

($22.50, Delia's)

A stylish friend assures me it's an Orla Kiely knock-off. Wee! Not that we condone that kind of thing... oh wait... we very much do.

A VEHEMENT NO! To Mary-Kate's Lennon Glasses! An ADAMANT YES to Lily Allen's Wayfarers!

(Photo via Hollywoodrag.com)

PLEASE, whatever you do, do NOT take a cue from Mary-Kate (Olsen, that is, NOT to be confused with Mary-Kate HOPKINSON!) and go out and buy yourself some Lennon glasses, like the ones she's shown here wearing at Sundance. (And holla at Binger JP -- Chicago JP for those of you keeping track -- for standing next to Ashley. And yes, I realize how lame that just sounded -- shouting out someone for merely STANDING in the presence of someone whose claim to fame was appearing on Full House, but whatever.) And do you really want to be seen in the same sunglasses as Howard Stern? They're detestable. In fact, I think they're probably my least favorite fashion accessory EVER. Not even if you smoke an eighth of wizard a day should you let that be an excuse to wear these terrible things. Truly, it'd be more advisable to stare directly into the sun and burn out your retinas. At least that way, you could blame your lack of taste on your blindness.


A far far far better celeb choice: the always-adorbs Lily Allen's green Chanel wayfarers:

(Photo via: Breesays)

Lily wears these bad boys EVERYwhere, and why? Because she is a teensy, precious little bad ass. And because they rule. Admittedly, the multi-colored Chanel branding makes them a bit tacky and too dear, but fortunately, knock-offs abound!

($9.50, Delias)

I almost bought these the other day, but then I realized the S/H was a bit wack. But I'll probably still get 'em. (Let's be honest.)

($12.50, OC Shades, Amazon)

So fun in pink -- they'd look great with a black trench. Like an international yet STYLISH woman of mystery!

($18.99, Amazon)

Amazon seller Vintage Designer Sunglasses may not have employed maje creativity in naming their shop, but their goods are on point, with all kindsa vintage wayfarers in non-played colors like bold matte yellow, lilac and dark green. Noice!

($10, FredFlare)

Always-cuters standby Fred Flare has lots for just $10. Check out the ones in mint. Weeeee!

Global-Warming-Induced Seasonal Ambiguity = Jacket Attack

Inches MATTER, people! And I'm not talking about the fleshy kind. I'm talking Weather Channel. Where's the snow, yo? Anyway, since I've woken up excited to find piles of the white stuff (not THAT kind of white stuff) outside my window and have pulled back the curtain to instead find dry sidewalk or general wetness (wow, the innuendos are totally unintentional, I swear), let's take a look at some lighter jackets -- trench coats and the like -- some of which are ridiculous, shall we?

($1,970, Chloe, Net-a-porter.com)

One of the fun things about brightly colored rain slickers is that they're bright and they're colored. One of the less fun things about them is that often, when they're vinyl or satin, they look like graduation gowns, church choir robes or those things you wear at the hair salon. A not-fun thing about this one is that it's $1,970. Oh well.

($2,740, Versace, Saks)

Here's another one where it's like, okay, great idea, IN THEORY. Or... I could buy a wedding dress. Or three.

($1,658, Yves Saint Laurent, Neiman Marcus)

Extra-large leopard print is another example of things that should be left to theory and not practice.

($595, Diane Von Furstenberg, Net-a-porter.com)

As compared to the jackets above, $595's a freaking steal. I'm normally not really into the idea of beige trenches -- yes, they're a total wardrobe staple as anyone with a modicum of fashion sense will remind you, but, a.) beige is so.... beige; b.) they get dirty really easily. That said, I might bend for this because while the color's sorta expected, the cut is nice and edgy -- yay for the asymmetrical buttons and big front pockets.

($58, Delias)

Again, beige = sorta boring sometimes, but this is a fun variation. I like it in their grass-green version, but then again, I had a green duster/ trench, and I got really sick of it, so I guess I'm a hypocrite.

($27, Forever21.com)

I saw this in grey at the store, and while I was attracted to it from afar, I was dubious up close, because it sorta felt like weird, gauzy post-consumer-recyclable material that they make shopping bags out of and that you're glad exists for the Earth's sake, but you'd never really want to wear. It felt like something you'd wear to go white-water rafting, not that I ever would. But it's got sort of a fun retro feel.

($370, Distilled)

Refinery29 did a little piece on the Distilled's flak jacket, and while it's green (though olive here) AND for dudes, I think it'd do quite nicely for ladies, if the fit's right.

($79, Avenue)

I'm not personally into florals much, but this gardenia trench is really darling, and florals ARE back this spring.

($78, Flying Tomato, Styleviolet.com)

So cute! So cheap! So yours!

($265, APC, Creaturesofcomfort.com)

APC's putting it down, I'm picking it up.

Thursday Quickies...

BOLLOX! Been SO damn busy! But not too busy to sweat these GORGEOUS blue patent pumps:

($395, Sergio Rossi, Footcandyshoes.com)

Gorgeous! Perfect height and amount of toe-pointiness!

($38.50, Delias)

I've been on a bit of a blue binge lately and drunk-shopped this last night. (Whoopsers!)

($29, Smith & Hawken)

Um, I really don't NEED a glass gourd. I don't even need a real gourd. But this is the kind of cute decorative thing I'd imagine people who are REALLY good at seasonal decorating would use to trick out their garden, and it sorta makes me wish I had a garden to the begin with. A garden that someone else tended to, of course.

And, in more un-fashionable news:

+ Guess the celebrity teeth! (Via Chicago JP.)

+ PUPPY AND KITTY TIME!
Scroll down for some more awesome animal situations (Barnapkins, via NYC's Eva)

Help Me Find This Jumper!

Homegirl over at SovereignState posted an image of a super cute pink and grey checkered flannel jumper as part of her Fall Fashion Wishlist. I have now added it to MY wishlist:


The problem is, however, I have NO idea where it's sold. I do know it's $39. JP (of Chicago) said it looked maybe like Lulu's Fashion Lounge, though a search proved fruitless. Mary-Kate told me, unsolicitedly that she did not like it (boo! says the girl who LIKES the jester tights!) and said it's perhaps from Delia's. Also a good call, but after that search, I'm still emptyhanded!

HELP a flogger out!

JACKETS: PART 3: Just A Light Jacket

Today's jacket theme is just "light" -- pretty light colors like cream and "dove" and "sandcastle" and even white.

First, my absolute top fantasy pick of the bunch:

(Eley Kishimoto)

I have no idea how much this is or if it's even still available as it's from Eley Kishimoto's 04/05 collection. Boo. But a beauty indeed.

($1695, Burberry, Nordstrom)

Okay, a wee bit out of my price range, especially since I absolutely belabored a $118 purchase of a jacket today at Macys. But if I were in the habit of dropping close to 2 grand on a jacket, this would be the first one I'd drop it on. And I love that its color is called "dove." Sigh.

($110, BP, Nordstrom)

A more realistic jacket from Nordstrom.

($212, Diesel, Ssense.com)

Any greener and this would be too green, but the light mint is sort of lovely. There's something very Pacific Northwest about this jacket -- and in a good way.

($58, Delias)

The capelet -- classic, yet definitely not for my shape. Yet this one is simple and timeless nevertheless.

($111, Diesel, Sstyle.com)

Can you ever go wrong with a fitted jacket? No. No, you can't. And Diesel's Bicik jacket is tres parfait, no?

($78, Lux, Urban Outfitters)

I sorta like this, and I'm sorta like "meh." No big whoop either way.

($29.50, Old Navy)

Definitely cute. (This is the "sandcastle," btw). Reminds me of a similar jacket I had in college and makes me wonder what the hell happened to it ("it" being the jacket, not college, though sometimes I wonder what the hell happened to that too).

($39, Yag, Lulusfashionlounge.com)

Once again, Lulu's Fashion Lounge (and I swear I don't work for them) hits one out of the park with an awesome looks-ten-times-more-expensive-than-it-actually-is piece. This jacket is truly adorable, and again, looks like Mike & Chris, and I'd totes buy this if I weren't positive I'd stain it by the third wear.