Ready? Aim? I'm About To Hit 'Buy' On This Olivia Harris Handbag

($545, Olivia Harris, Bergdorf Goodman)

I've long been on a quest for a real-deal, actual factual BIG-GIRL BAG. A nice carryall, preferably tall and dark, that will last. Forever. One that won't break down on me. One that can handle all of my needs. No more use 'em and lose 'em handbag relationships. This is the one serious handbag I will be COMMITTED to and stay with, day after day, season after season. An accessories marriage.

Like a total meet-cute, I was shopping at Bloomingdale's this weekend, and BAM! There she was, this beautiful beautiful Olivia Harris. Waiting for me. I got her number ($545 -- ugh). And tonight? I think I'm gonna stop thinking and start doing. I'm gonna put a ring on it.

Victoria's Secret's Version of J Brand's Houlihan's Skinny Cargos

($59.50, Victoria's Secret)

Everyone's been jumping on that J. Brand Houlihan skinny cargo bandwagon and hanging on for dear life. Here's Victoria's Secret's version, the London Jean. I love the olive shade (one of four colors), and the cool ankle zippers and the total lack of bagginess. Admittedly, I have no experience with Victoria's Secret clothing, but for $60, I'd be willing to give these cargos a go.

It Happened At The Hester Street Fair

($78, Cynthia Rybakoff)

The Hester Street Fair is an unmissable outdoor flea that's been happening down in the Lower Lower East Side every Saturday and Sunday since spring. It's a perfectly curated collection of delicious local food (admittedly today I had my third lobster roll from the Luke's Lobster stand), handmade goods, vintage clothing and accessories (SOOOOO much vintage jewelry), and new, handmade jewelry. Like Cynthia Rybakoff's great handmade jewelry. I admired her simple yet absolutely beguiling rock crystal necklace on a silver chain (but not long enough to buy it -- I was trying to resist giving into my impulse-spending tendencies, but I really should've picked this up, as it's on my mind hours later). She managed to take something as rough and unpredictable as a crystal and make it look elegant yet edgy. Even better -- it's called the Fortress of Solitude necklace. Also, thank you for reclaiming crystals from Spencer Pratt.

Non-New Yorkers, you're in luck. It's available online. Everybody wins!

Two Pairs Of Shoes By Which I Cannot Abide

I consider myself a fairly tolerant, accepting person. However there are a few things I cannot abide by. One of those things? These Cindy Says Keegan heels...

($142, Cindy Says, Endless.com)

I mean, they're platforms. Covered in pony hair. And feathers. And studs. And some kind of gem thing. They have whipstitching. And they lace up. And they have a fabric welt. The only thing they don't have is even the most remote shred of decency. And don't even get me started on the tan and orange version.


Hard to say which is more offensive. They both have their own separate list of bullet pointed atrocities.

Meanwhile, these Doc Martens for Opening Ceremony Darcie boots?...

($300, Doc Martens, Opening Ceremony)

True, I DO have the black version of these Darcie Docs. And I LOVE these gold flocked Docs. But while I do LOVE animal print, this is proof that animal print can be used for both good AND evil. There's just something '70s-in-the-bad-way about the print. It looks like a fabric batik wall hanging that my mom mounted on a hula hoop and hung on the wall of our basement rec room back in 1982. True story.

+ On a related note: Hello Kitty Doc Martens

Mad Men's Christina Hendricks Sexies Up London Fog

OHAI JOAN! Christina Hendricks, who is the actual person who plays Mad Men's Joan Holloway, who is NOT a real person, is the new face of London Fog's fall 2010 outerwear and accessories campaign. Because she can make even a suitcase look sexy. It's absurd, I know.












CATHERINE SEZ: Too bad they Photoshopped the sass out of her. Sad. She's not a skinny bitch! Why make her one?

Check out Christina Hendricks talking London Fog sexy times!

Hessnatur Makes The Only Pants You'll Need This Fall + A Sick Leather Jacket For Just $200

I'm glad we don't, but if we lived in a one-pant Communist nation where we were forced to wear just one pair, I'd happily go with these gorgeous grey pleated wool pants from Hessnatur, which is a German sustainable clothing brand. It's eco-chic, as I like to call apparel that's good for the environment and doesn't look like matted, mangled, gnarled dreads in the form of clothing.

($198, Hessnatur, us.hessnatur.com)

These 100% wool grey trousers are just lovely, and that's thanks to Spanish designer Miguel Adrover, who partnered with Hessnatur, hence that gorgeous sheen, slight taper and smart volume. I love the idea of styling them with a darker charcoal top or just a fitted black shirt and a snug leather jacket, like these:

($199, Old Navy, Oldnavy.com)

Uh, can you believe this sick leather jacket is from OLD NAVY of all places? Diagonal details, wide collar, and zipper details!??! YaRLY!

($856, Graham & Spencer, Nordstrom.com)

Usually I abide by a strict "no brown clothing" rule, but I'd consider breaking that ban for this gorgeous distressed brown leather jacket. Love the texture and the slightly '80s draping.

... Speaking of things that VAGUELY sound like "draping," let's play word association. Draping? Okay. DON DRAPER. Boom. Gratuitous Don Draper photo:

Jon Hamm. My favorite type of ham.

Can We Allow This: One-Of-A-KInd Belted, Wackadoo Boots By Luxury Jones

($380, Luxury Jones, Needsupply.com)

I like boots, luxury, and vintage accessories. And I also like creativity! Do I want all three of those things all at the same time? Ehhh? Probably not. You?

I'm A Big Enough Mad Men Stan To Buy Peggy's Helvetic Poster

($150, Objectifiedfilm.com)

Did you guys see that Helvetica poster on the wall of Peggy's office Sterling Cooper Draper Price? I'm totally enough of a "Mad Men" stan to buy it. Dork City, I know.

+ My "Mad Men" meets Gaga meets Miu Miu dress!
+ "Mad Men" furniture for sale!!

OMG! MAD MEN FURNITURE FOR SALE ON EBAY!

HOLY mid-century furniture! You can totally bid on the ACTUAL FACTUAL furniture from the set of "Mad Men" right now on Ebay!

You can totally buy Don Draper's credenza and store your booze on top of it so you can practice drinking 17 times a day and being a functional alcoholic, and lots more Mad Men office furniture, so you can put on a girdle and pretend to hire people, fire people, cheat on your spouse, have a Christmas party with conga line, get sad letters from your fucked-up daughter, or engage in pre-equal rights workplace sexism.

Sadly, as my friend pointed out, Jon Hamm is not for sale.

Proceeds benefit City Of Hope cancer care center.

Isabel Toledo's Payless High Ghillie Heels Are Something Alright

($39.99, Isabel Toledo, Payless.com)

What's black, and yellow, and crazy all over? Isabel Toledo's crazypants High Ghillie rugged cut-out Oxford Mary Janes with a yellow lug heel. They're bad because they're... well... nuts, they're good because they're Isabel Toledo and therefore fun, and thus a walking paradox.

BTW, the red ones are only available at Colette. But if I WERE to wear them -- and I'm not sure even I would (and that's saying a lot) I'd go with the yellow ones.

DISCUSS!

These Miu Miu's Metal Pumps Be Cray Cray

(Miu, Miu, Holt Renfrew)

The suede lilac verison of Miu Miu's Fall/ Winter 2010 metal floral heels are crazy good.

The black ones? A little crazy uh-oh/ slutty pilgrim.

($990, Miu Miu, Net-a-porter.com)

DAMN YOU, AUSTRALIA AND YOUR LEE LICKS JEANS?

(Apprx $198 USD, Licks, Generalpants.com.au)

Curses, Australia! Blast and damn, Lee Licks jeans! DAMN YOUR SORDID PAIRING.

Ugh. These ripped skinny motorcycle jeans are so perfect for me that I can only imagine Lee's designers created an entire Tamar mood board full of photos of me and my favorite things before designing them ESPECIALLY FOR ME! So WHY are Lee's Licks jeans -- they're described as "jeggings" (shudder) but look more jeans than "-eggings" in the photo above -- only sold in Australia??!?!? That makes no sense whatsoever!

Okay, I take back what I said about damning Australians. You people are lovely, and you make a FANTASTIC Riesling. Now WHICH of you lovely Aussies want to send me a pair?

Hello, Hello Kitty Doc Martens

Doc Martens and Hello Kitty are throwing a joint birthday party, and you know that rarely works out the way you want it to. One person will invite more friends, but more of the other person's friends will end up showing up, and then it's awkward when everyone doesn't like mesh well, and you don't even end up having fun because since everyone isn't just magically gel-ing, you have to introduce everyone and it kind of ends up feeling lame, and the drinks were too expensive, and you really didn't want to have your party in the Upper East Side anyway. That's definitely the last year you're doing that.

The point is, joint birthdays rarely work, but these Hello Kitty Doc Martens are pretty effing precious. But, like most licensed apparel, should ONLY be worn if you were born after 1994. And/or spend all of your free time on LiveJournal.

($165, Doc Martens, Dmusastore.com)

($135, Doc Martens, Dmstoreusa.com)

+ Related stuff: HILARIOUS '90s Tumblr.

Two PERFECT Charlie Girl Silky Tops For Fall

I love a silky top like it's my damn vocation. They feel easy breezy in the summer when you wanna "fance it up" a bit but don't want to melt, Wicked Witch style, in a pool of your own perspiration. And they're the BEST to layer with in the fall, with a leather jacket and some black skinny jeans. Oh yeah, and I also get lots of questions about what to wear with booties or ankle boots -- ding ding ding! A long, loose silky shirt, skinny jeans, and some great black or grey booties. Or, tuck it into a pair of well-tailored wide-legged trousers for a Marlene Dietrich/ modern-day Charlie Girl look.

($174, Gemma, Farfetch.com)

OY. LOVE the watercolory interpretation of snakeskin on silk.

($68, KNT By Kova & T, UrbanOutfitters.com)

SeriouslyK, PLEASE wear this with a leather jacket or chunky black motorcycle boots so as to avoid looking like a referee. Or an employee of Foot Locker.

Binge Basics: Loft Gold Anorak

($99, Loft)

It's an unwritten law that you're gonna need an army or safari-inspired jacket this fall. And it should be law that you own this gold/ mustard Loft anorak. By nature, anoraks are pretty asexual, but by design, the tailoring on Loft's version is fairly feminine, with a slimming cut. Once again, sold!

Oh, and PS, I got Loft's cotton poplin jacket in olive green:

($29.99, Loft)

It's sold out online -- BOOO -- but maybe try and track it down in the store? Or, manage your own expectations and get this stone/ grey jacket instead.

Senso's Pony Heels Are So Hot They Should Come With A Fire Extinguisher

($159.95, Senso, Solestruck.com)

It's hard to say which is stronger -- the preemptive guilt I'd experience buying these fur pony heels or the remorse I'd experience not buying them at all. #moralstruggle

They're by Australian brand Senso, and they're a hard-to-believe-they're-not-more-expensive $159 at the Solestruck, which is currently rebranding itself from "basic online shoe store" to a select, covet-worthy collection of "fun" (as opposed to "mom) brands like Jeffrey Campbell, All Black, Dolce Vita, and Rachel Comey. Basically, Solestruck incepted my mind while I was sleeping and set up a shop of all of my favorite affordable shoe brands. And pony fur heels.

Doc Martens Fall 2010 Gold Flocked Floral Boots

($120, Dr Martens, Dmusastore.com)

I asked myself WHY would I want gold, glittery, flocked Doc Martens boots. But then I asked myself the more revelant question: why WOULDN'T I want flocked floral Doc Martens, hmm? They're perfect for fall mornings when you wake up late, don't really feel like "getting dressed" and just throw them on with black leggings and a solid black dress. One of those "your shoes ARE your outfit" outfits.

Look, I know they're wackadoo and look like a couch your parents probably have in the basement no one ever goes into anymore, but while my head is saying "no," my heart is saying "let's go." Oh yeah, get 20% off Doc Martens with promo code FALL2010 through 9/15/2010. You're WELCOME.

I ALMOST Bought These Serfontaine Jeans (And Still Might)

I stopped by the perfectly lovely Kaight boutique in the Lower East Side. It's an eco-friendly boutique, but I'd call it more eco-forward, since it's got really cute stuff that isn't all hemp-y/ Hare Krishna looking, you know? Like eco-friendly stuff -- Melissa troupe + Alexander Herchoivch Oxford wedges and the like -- that doesn't look like it was stitched together from corn husks found on the ground at a farmer's market. (Look, I get HIGH off of recycling and energy efficient light bulbs and reusing stuff. I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against preserving the planet. I just don't wanna dress like it.)

Anyway, the shop is sweet, as are the employees, and I fell in love with a great pair of Serfontaine jeans.

($152, Serfontaine, CoutureCandy.com)

They were. SO. EFFING. COMFORTABLE. It was like sitting in a perfectly worn catcher's mitt made of denim. In a good way. They felt absolutely custom-made for my ass and mine alone. And I LOVED the slightly dusty, semi-'70s medium rinse. And they were soft as a kitten's ear. I rolled them down since I'm 5'2" and certainly can't do the denim capri look without look like a dwarf (side note: I'm NOT into the denim capri look at all anyway). Remarkably, I left without buying them, only because I wasn't in love with the cut of the ankle, which was a little too wide.

Kaight had them on sale for $132. Looks like Kaight doesn't offer Serfontaine online, but if you're into Serfontaine jeans -- and you should be! -- CoutureCandy.com has a ton.

Haus Of Price Sells Seashell Shoes At Stanton James

($239, Haus of Price, StantonJames.com)

Would I wear these sea shell-covered booties by the fantastic Haus Of Price? WOULD I? Not only would I wear them, but I'd send out a PRESS RELEASE announcing I was wearing them, and then I'd call you and follow up to make sure you got the press release and KNEW I was wearing them.

Um, Haus of Price, I want to MOVE INTO you. These booties are SO cray-cray wackadoo '70s (meets '90s!). These are the shoes Carole King would've been wearing on her "Tapestry" cover, had she been wearing shoes.

Also, OBVIOUSLY this is one of the best album covers EVER -- Carole is STONE-COLD LAMPIN' in the most comfy-looking jeans, her hair is TOTALLY natural (DOIN' IT for curly-haired ladies!), and um, do I even need to point out the cat holdin' it down in the foreground?

Sublimated Style-Shit Need To Stop NOW!

There are many things I truly don't understand: The appeal of Jon Gosselin. Fiber optics. How the Bushes spent FIVE total terms in the White House. Grape leaves.

But one thing I TRULY don't understand, and this has been PLAGUING me, are sublimated shirts.
You know what sublimated shirts are. You may not know you know, but you know. They're those fucking TERRIBLE fake tie-dye/tattoo prints with that fake-creased look. Those shirts that have burned indelible track marks across America, multiplying like feral rabbits (where there is one, four more are sure to follow). Sometimes they're Ed Hardy-ish (I blame him for these AND EVERYTHING evil). Sometimes they're peasant-style. But they're ALWAYS horrible. Yes. Those.

Wait...

Still don't know what I mean?

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

FDSKAJFKLSDAJGKL;SDAJFKL;SDAJFKL;ASDFJKL;SDGJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDJ!@!KFDJS;ALFDJSAL;!1

That one on the bottom right even has a cat hiding beneath its sinister faux folds. I feel bad for that cat.

Why. WHY? Do shoppers, consuming under the umbrella of both a free market and free fucking WILL choose to a.) buy and b.) WEAR these God-awful schmattes. Please? SOMEONE. Tell me.

Okay. If you, in a drunken haze, or on a dare, bought one of these, I want to hear from you. You can email me what I can only imagine will be a tale of embarrassed regret. I will post it anonymously to help me and the countless befuddled others out there who want to know why these exist, who buys them, and when this pox will end.

Cute Shirt Alert: 7 For All Mankind/ Mika Ninagawa Photo-Print Flower Tee

($89, 7ForAllMankind.com)

While I'M SUPER particular about floral prints -- forecast: sometimes cute, with a high chance of OD'ing on '90s grunge-girl nostalgia -- I freaking LOVE a photo print. Especially 7 For All Mankind's small collection of Japanese photographer Mika Ninagawa's floral photos. I LOVE the bold fuschias and quick flashes of blue.

It's a LITTLE tricky to style without veering into Totally Cheesy Territory (avoid the overly obvious black pants/ black blazer combo because then the shirt's just way too loud) but I'm thinking these light-rinse Gap jeans:

($69.50, Gap)

... And (stay with me here) some nice neutral sculptural shoes like:

($210, Pour La Victoire, Zappos.com)

I can't personally do wedges, but I LOVE these Pour La Victorie grey cut-out wedges.

Anyway, love the floral photo-print lily tee. It's basically the Bjork Post album cover of shirts.

Party Supplies

I've been following Andrew W.K. on Twitter lately, and I have to say that I am fully behind his philosophy of life. Which, if you don't know, is basically: party. Party hard. Find the party in everything. I can get behind that. I have been trying to incorporate this philosophy into my everyday life. Not only did I go out yesterday for an afternoon show by a band I did not know (a DANCE-MUSIC band, I might add) in hot weather on a day I was moderately to severely hung over, but I also found the party in my Greek yogurt this morning, I swear.

Next up: incorporating this amazing bandana into my wardrobe.



Andrew WK bandanna, $14.99. I'm thinking I wear it as a headband, with the blood showing. At work. ("We will ALWAYS party hard," remember?)

Party on! This lady gets it:

Mara Hoffman: Fashion Inceptor?

($300, Mara Hoffman, Bonadrag.com)

Guys, I'm really afraid Mara Hoffman is sneaking into my mind and incepting my mind, because her tribal-inspired "Pow" dress is the dress of my dreams.

+ Inception LOLz.

A Tale of Three Hats

There's nothing like outfitting yourself for outdoorsy adventures to make you feel like a stupid fashion twat. I have tried in vain (literally) to find cute stuff that is also functionalfor my upcoming Yosemite hiking adventure. In talking with my hiking-expert friend Leanne, I learned that "a hat is a must." And so: A search for a hat was born!

I began last Friday, randomly, when I had some time to kill on Smith Street. One of my favorite stores is Exit 9, a gifty-novelty store that also carries Tano bags and some other accessories. They have cute mittens in the winter, and paper party cups with noses on them so when you drink, you can look like you have a hairy old-man schnoz. Lots of fun stuff, see? They also have cool hats. I bought one, since it had a brim and would keep the sun off my face.


San Diego Hat Co. "Lacie" linen buckle hat, $35. I brought it home to my husband, Carl, who replied, "That's not a hiking hat. That is a fashion hat." I considered. Perhaps. Could return, but lost receipt. Argh. Well, I like it. My only concern is that it has kind of an urban-dancer vibe about it? Like maybe Janet Jackson circa Rhythm Nation would approve?

The following day I hit the Brooklyn Flea. It was hot out. Like what-am-I-doing-here-on-this-blacktop hot. And so, when I found the Lento hat rack, I was a sitting duck. I was intrigued by this one hat with a really exaggerated brim that the seller said was supposed to be worn to the back, but that cool Brooklynites have been wearing in the front. It was kind of amazing.


Lento "Maxi" hat, $30. Hand-made, hand-dyed, organic, all that good stuff. And reversible! It seemed like this was definitely "fashion," though, so I went with the more reasonable (and still sun-protectively functional) regular version:


Lento "Medium" hat, $25. (It was $20 at the Flea, in case any locals want to pick one up). I got it in purple. Or gray. Reversible rules! However, as I walked to my next appointment at the beer garden, a slight breeze kept threatening to lift the fucker right off my head. Not cool. Not functional. FASHION. Shit.

So today I finally went to return the hiking boots that I bought at EMS and then found cheaper online, and I noticed their hat section. SCORE!


I found a perfectly cute-enough gray hat, the EMS Chelan II with a UPF (that's SPF for clothes, I think) of 30 and wicking capability. Take that, head sweat! It was $16.80. Done and (PHEW) done!

Now let's hope I can find occasion to wear the other two hats, too....

A Fish... Ball... Called... Tamar

So, my real name is not "Tamron Lohan." It's Tamar. Five simple letters, but it's pretty unusual in that "not-a-Jennifer" way. Growing up in the '80s, AKA the Golden Age Of Personalization, when every kid could just waltz into the drug store and pick out a rainbow pencil with "Lisa" on it or a souvenir license plate keychain that said "Amy," I felt totally screwed because the closest I could ever find to Tamar was either "Tamara" (WRONG! NOT ME!) or "Tammy," which is deffffinitely not me. Anything personalized had to be custom-made. Because I'm high maintenance.

So, you could imagine the mixed bag of emotions I just experienced when looking at Kisan Concept Store's site and discovering that this... thing...

... called a "fish ball," is also called, "Tamar."

Huh??? Wha? I don't really get it either. And I am, as far as I know, not affiliated in any way shape or form with Daily Candy (though I do enjoy reading it), Kisan (though it is a cool store and has an amazing selection of Tsumori Chisato and a really cute selection of jewelry and super-affordable gifts), and/or fish balls. But in case it's somehow named after/ for me, then... thanks? I guess? I always dreamed of having my very own fish ball.